Happy Thanksgiving!
I spent the last two days in Natitingou just chillaxing and eating and ended up sick yesterday which sucked. So I stayed last night because I didn't think I wanted to puke on the taxi. But I am good now and we're getting ready to leave to head back to Djougou and thank goodness because I really miss my house and my shower and my food and my bed....mmmmm.
Thanksgiving dinner was decent, potatoes, green beans, and many different kind of pies. We watched Avatar and 12 Monkeys and all was good and relaxing. I really missed the family, though. I think I talked to everyone at some point and definitely spent an insane amount of money on credit...think like a month's worth in one day. But it was totally worth it!
I got packages, too! But only a couple...one from mom and one from Colt's family that had birthday stuff in it. See, they get here eventually!
Sorry this update is so lame; I am using someone's computer and they need it back soon!
Miss and love you all,
E
PS I'm very glad I didn't get Jeffrey Sach's tattooed on me. Just sayin'
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Watch 20/20 on December 3rd
As many of you know or have heard, Catherine (Kate) Puzey was a volunteer here in Benin who was killed last year in March. The details surrounding her murder have been frustratingly concealed from us as current volunteers and her family as sections from the following letter will show. Kate served as an English teacher in Badjoudé, a town close to Djougou, where I live. In fact, my post is the closest Peace Corps post to her town. When we arrived in Benin this summer we were informed of the event and there was an informal discussion about the events surrounding her death. I was surprised to find out the depth of involvement from higher ups in the Peace Corps Benin and I am actually continuously surprised at the fact that Peace Corps/Benin did not get completely discontinued. I am glad it hasn't, though. At least not yet. The trial is supposed to start this month, but has been delayed for various reasons. On December 3rd there will be a feature about Kate's death on 20/20 that I hope you all tune in for. While this was a very specific, isolated incident that in no way jeapardizes the safety of current volunteers, it is incredibly important for all Peace Corps administration and volunteers and thus all Americans to pay attention and prevent it from happening again.
Many names have been left out to protect privacy and I am including the letter here solely in order to provide information to the public and those concerned about Benin in particular. This email was forwarded to all currently serving Peace Corps Volunteers (PCVs) in Benin as well as many recently Returned Peace Corps Volunteers (RPCVs) from two RPCVs who knew Kate well and is in no way an official document related to the current investigation:
Dear All,
Hello!! How are all of you?? ...A lot, a lot has gone down since we all left Benin, in terms of Kate and the impending trial. Not to make excuses, but it's been really difficult forus to sit with all of the information we're going to share, and not know when the appropriatetime to disperse it is. We'll get to it a little later,but there will be some publicity regarding Kate and the PeaceCorps soon, so we knew it was time to write this email. Since coming back to the States,we've been in consistent, close contact with the Puzey's. Through this,we've been privilege to a lot of knowledge that we otherwise wouldn't have been, as the Peace Corps has done a mighty fine job of keeping information out of our(all of our) hands, both as former/present volunteers and friends of Kate. We're not sure who knows what at this point, so we're just going to start at the beginning.
Towards the start of our 2009 February break from school, -- went to Badjoude. While there, Kate expressed concern about C-- (J--'s brother, thelanguage facilitator for Health) and stories she'd been told of his raping and humiliating two of his young students. She also was led to believe that he breached his contract by having a relationship with at least one stagiaire. Because of this information, as well as her own knowledge of C--'s general sliminess/coming to classes drunk/etc., Kate knew she neededto bringthis toAdmin's attention. She spent a lot of time trying todecidethe best way tocontact S--. She eventually chose email, and sent theattached note to S--, CCing F--, on February 27, 2009. We've also attached the responses Kate received. As you can see from the chain, S--and F--quickly took to heart what Kate told them. However, Kate never knew this. She sent the email on Friday from Natitingou. She left for Badjoude (no internet) on March 1, 2009. To be fair, at somepoint during the two weeks Kate was in Badjoude she received a callfrom M--. I remember getting a fewtexts from Kate about this, but I can't remember specifically what she wastold. I do know that she was made aware that PeaceCorps was "handling" the situation, and M-- asked if Kate would be interested in legal action beingtaken against C--for the raping of students. Because that knowledge washearsay, Kate said she didn't think that was yet appropriate. Thisis the only indication we have that Kate would have any idea that Admin was taking her email seriously.We want to interject here. We assume you all remember All Vol at DuLac in March 2008. One of the biggest issues tirelessly discussed was the refusal by Admin to not use email as a valid method of quick communication. Case in point. Kate never received the emails that youseeattached. She also never knew that on March 10, C-- received a letter letting him know that he would no longer be contractually employed by the PeaceCorps. (For the record, we're unsure if any disciplinary action was taken by the school.) Kate was killed either the night of March 11 or the morning of March12. In this email, we're tryingvery hard to be as diplomatic as possible, but there are times, like this one, when that just seems insane. By emailing Kateinstead of calling, Peace Corps actively took her right away to make decisionsabout what would be best for her and her safety. ...
About a week after Kate's death, J--loses his security clearance. Beforethe Easter break in April 2009, several of us were interviewed when the Peace Corps Inspector General's Office sent two investigators to Benin. We were told by the investigators that their purpose was to determine what, if anything, happened in the Peace Corps office that would have directly been tied to Kate's death. On May 28, 2009 F-- resigns. In mid-June 2009,S-- announces herintent to resign by the end of the month. Another pointtirelessly discussed atAll-Vol was Admin's constant breaching ofc onfidentiality. While in Benin wespeculated this had a major role in Kate's death since ONLY S--and F--were emailed about C--. ...Now we're home. We'reapproached by Lois (Kate's mom) to be part of a task forceto seek justicefor Kate, both in terms of a trial as well as Peace Corpsreform. Lois expressed to us how initially the Peace Corps was sympathetic totheir loss,but that soon turned to complete stonewalling when they startedaskingquestions. Not to mention how they were notified. ... Her effects were simply dropped off some time later with no note or representative. For several months, we compiled information and brainstormed various ways to affect chance.This all came to a head in February 2010 when we, along with Kate's parents and her cousin, went to Washington to meet with Director (of the Peace Corps)Williams, Senator Isakson, andseveral other staff members for various other Senators and Representatives.Our goal was to present the reform we seenecessaryto ensure that nothinglike this happens again to a volunteer. This included:
A. Better notification practices of next of kin
B. Standard procedure for keeping confidentiality
C. Standard procedure for ways that volunteers can notify PC Admin of sensitive information
D. Standard procedure for communication(particularly ofsensitiveinformation) between Admin and volunteers
E.The possibility of volunteers being covered under the Whistle Blower Protection Act
...
One more thing. So throughout this whole process the lackof media attention for Kate's murder has been kind of astounding. The Puzey's arevery much interested in Kate's story being told on a national/international platform...ThePuzey's were approached by 20/20,and jumped at the opportunity. As part ofthisprocess, we were interviewed. The experience seems to have been quitepositiveand therapeutic for Kate's family. However, for us, it was really pretty terrible. We realize our position as former volunteers creates adifferentdynamic than that of family. Although we feel strongly that Kate'sstory be toldand that Peace Corps reforms are put in place, wedidn't feellike we were in theposition to do any speculating or name names on national television, much less on a sensationalistic program. 20/20 wasn'tso happy with our position. We still agreed to be interviewed, discussingonly first-hand knowledge, as the Puzey'sreally wanted that. All of this tosay, the first segment of the program will beairing in December 3, 2010 at10pm (EST). We have no idea what to expect...
The trial, although slated to happen this November, will not happen until who knowswhen...We know that a lot of information to take in. And we also know that we might nothave presentedit in entirely the clearest way possible. So please let usknow if you have anyquestions. We're sending this email to all TEFL butplease pass this along toanyone else you think should know.
Love to all,
--
So that's that. I have a little bit more information for anyone who emails me or facebook messages me directly, but I do want to keep things respectful of the privacy of those more involved than me. I want to reiterate as well that this email is in no way official and is also not completely represented here, so there's no way to take it as anything more than just hearsay, right? I have no authority here and my opinion does not reflect that of the Peace Corps/Benin or Peace Corps/Washington or the Peace Corps Inspector General's Office. So please just watch the show in a couple weeks and someone please tell me how it goes!
Elaina
Many names have been left out to protect privacy and I am including the letter here solely in order to provide information to the public and those concerned about Benin in particular. This email was forwarded to all currently serving Peace Corps Volunteers (PCVs) in Benin as well as many recently Returned Peace Corps Volunteers (RPCVs) from two RPCVs who knew Kate well and is in no way an official document related to the current investigation:
Dear All,
Hello!! How are all of you?? ...A lot, a lot has gone down since we all left Benin, in terms of Kate and the impending trial. Not to make excuses, but it's been really difficult forus to sit with all of the information we're going to share, and not know when the appropriatetime to disperse it is. We'll get to it a little later,but there will be some publicity regarding Kate and the PeaceCorps soon, so we knew it was time to write this email. Since coming back to the States,we've been in consistent, close contact with the Puzey's. Through this,we've been privilege to a lot of knowledge that we otherwise wouldn't have been, as the Peace Corps has done a mighty fine job of keeping information out of our(all of our) hands, both as former/present volunteers and friends of Kate. We're not sure who knows what at this point, so we're just going to start at the beginning.
Towards the start of our 2009 February break from school, -- went to Badjoude. While there, Kate expressed concern about C-- (J--'s brother, thelanguage facilitator for Health) and stories she'd been told of his raping and humiliating two of his young students. She also was led to believe that he breached his contract by having a relationship with at least one stagiaire. Because of this information, as well as her own knowledge of C--'s general sliminess/coming to classes drunk/etc., Kate knew she neededto bringthis toAdmin's attention. She spent a lot of time trying todecidethe best way tocontact S--. She eventually chose email, and sent theattached note to S--, CCing F--, on February 27, 2009. We've also attached the responses Kate received. As you can see from the chain, S--and F--quickly took to heart what Kate told them. However, Kate never knew this. She sent the email on Friday from Natitingou. She left for Badjoude (no internet) on March 1, 2009. To be fair, at somepoint during the two weeks Kate was in Badjoude she received a callfrom M--. I remember getting a fewtexts from Kate about this, but I can't remember specifically what she wastold. I do know that she was made aware that PeaceCorps was "handling" the situation, and M-- asked if Kate would be interested in legal action beingtaken against C--for the raping of students. Because that knowledge washearsay, Kate said she didn't think that was yet appropriate. Thisis the only indication we have that Kate would have any idea that Admin was taking her email seriously.We want to interject here. We assume you all remember All Vol at DuLac in March 2008. One of the biggest issues tirelessly discussed was the refusal by Admin to not use email as a valid method of quick communication. Case in point. Kate never received the emails that youseeattached. She also never knew that on March 10, C-- received a letter letting him know that he would no longer be contractually employed by the PeaceCorps. (For the record, we're unsure if any disciplinary action was taken by the school.) Kate was killed either the night of March 11 or the morning of March12. In this email, we're tryingvery hard to be as diplomatic as possible, but there are times, like this one, when that just seems insane. By emailing Kateinstead of calling, Peace Corps actively took her right away to make decisionsabout what would be best for her and her safety. ...
About a week after Kate's death, J--loses his security clearance. Beforethe Easter break in April 2009, several of us were interviewed when the Peace Corps Inspector General's Office sent two investigators to Benin. We were told by the investigators that their purpose was to determine what, if anything, happened in the Peace Corps office that would have directly been tied to Kate's death. On May 28, 2009 F-- resigns. In mid-June 2009,S-- announces herintent to resign by the end of the month. Another pointtirelessly discussed atAll-Vol was Admin's constant breaching ofc onfidentiality. While in Benin wespeculated this had a major role in Kate's death since ONLY S--and F--were emailed about C--. ...Now we're home. We'reapproached by Lois (Kate's mom) to be part of a task forceto seek justicefor Kate, both in terms of a trial as well as Peace Corpsreform. Lois expressed to us how initially the Peace Corps was sympathetic totheir loss,but that soon turned to complete stonewalling when they startedaskingquestions. Not to mention how they were notified. ... Her effects were simply dropped off some time later with no note or representative. For several months, we compiled information and brainstormed various ways to affect chance.This all came to a head in February 2010 when we, along with Kate's parents and her cousin, went to Washington to meet with Director (of the Peace Corps)Williams, Senator Isakson, andseveral other staff members for various other Senators and Representatives.Our goal was to present the reform we seenecessaryto ensure that nothinglike this happens again to a volunteer. This included:
A. Better notification practices of next of kin
B. Standard procedure for keeping confidentiality
C. Standard procedure for ways that volunteers can notify PC Admin of sensitive information
D. Standard procedure for communication(particularly ofsensitiveinformation) between Admin and volunteers
E.The possibility of volunteers being covered under the Whistle Blower Protection Act
...
One more thing. So throughout this whole process the lackof media attention for Kate's murder has been kind of astounding. The Puzey's arevery much interested in Kate's story being told on a national/international platform...ThePuzey's were approached by 20/20,and jumped at the opportunity. As part ofthisprocess, we were interviewed. The experience seems to have been quitepositiveand therapeutic for Kate's family. However, for us, it was really pretty terrible. We realize our position as former volunteers creates adifferentdynamic than that of family. Although we feel strongly that Kate'sstory be toldand that Peace Corps reforms are put in place, wedidn't feellike we were in theposition to do any speculating or name names on national television, much less on a sensationalistic program. 20/20 wasn'tso happy with our position. We still agreed to be interviewed, discussingonly first-hand knowledge, as the Puzey'sreally wanted that. All of this tosay, the first segment of the program will beairing in December 3, 2010 at10pm (EST). We have no idea what to expect...
The trial, although slated to happen this November, will not happen until who knowswhen...We know that a lot of information to take in. And we also know that we might nothave presentedit in entirely the clearest way possible. So please let usknow if you have anyquestions. We're sending this email to all TEFL butplease pass this along toanyone else you think should know.
Love to all,
--
So that's that. I have a little bit more information for anyone who emails me or facebook messages me directly, but I do want to keep things respectful of the privacy of those more involved than me. I want to reiterate as well that this email is in no way official and is also not completely represented here, so there's no way to take it as anything more than just hearsay, right? I have no authority here and my opinion does not reflect that of the Peace Corps/Benin or Peace Corps/Washington or the Peace Corps Inspector General's Office. So please just watch the show in a couple weeks and someone please tell me how it goes!
Elaina
A bar watchi wei-tachi et wagasi waranka
I've been learning a lot of Dendi lately; the title is something I ordered for lunch today. Local language is not really necessary for me because I live in a big city where everyone speaks french, but I really enjoy learning it. Sofia and I (the German volunteer in Djougou who, who in highschool, spent a year abroad in Wichita freaking Kansas--damn it's a small world) are planning on taking Dendi lessons together. Whenever she and I hang out we speak this cool combination of french, english, quasi-german (i know a few phrases), and now some dendi. it's pretty trippy.
A good friend of mine from college is joining me in the Peace Corps world of West Africa and will be in Mali at the end of January. I know I was already getting ready to plan a Mali trip for next summer, so it works out pretty spectacularly. I'm glad someone from home will be able to commiserate now haha
So this is really just an update post...Thanksgiving is coming up and a lot of us are going to Nati. I am going to try to bake an apple pie. I am now officially helping my office here with learning english...at 7am three times a week, ugh. i have started getting ready for the med school application season as i have officially received my wellesley college admissions committee packet. I am considering adding like three more random Chicago schools since I really want to go to school there. Naturally, my top choice is Northwestern followed closely by the University of Chicago, but honestly I'd be pretty stoked to go to Rush or Loyola or where ever as long as it's in the Windy City, you know? Hmm, what else? Ah, I learned a new french phrase that perfectly sums up what i am supposed to be doing here: faire faire. It basically means that I am to make others do things, to facilitate behavior change, to help the Beninese help themselves. Faire faire.
I can't remember if I mentioned it, but last week was the Muslim holiday, Tabaski, or Eid ul-Adha, a three day holiday that commemorates Abraham’s (Ibrahim’s) submission to the command of Allah in sacrificing his son, Ishmael. The Koran describes Abraham in the following passage:"Surely Abraham was an example, obedient to Allah, by nature upright, and he was not of the polytheists. He was grateful for Our bounties. We chose him and guided him unto a right path. We gave him good in this world, and in the next he will most surely be among the righteous" (Koran 16:120-121). Before Abraham was able to sacrifice Ishmael, Allah intervened and communicated that his devotion was evident through his willingness to obey the word of Allah, thus his sacrifice fulfilled. Allah gave Abraham a ram to sacrifice instead. The people celebrate the holiday by attending mosque services and praying and then sacrificing insane numbers of goats. Some families save up for an entire year to buy a goat so that they can have a good Tabaski. I myself went to the nearest mosque and prayed with my friend, Affissa. She came by my house and we performed our ablutions, ritual washing of our faces, hands, and feet. We then went to the mosque where she handed me prayer beads and I pulled my headscarf over my hair so that my body was almost completely covered. The room I was in had only women and anyone under the age of 15 was definitely more preoccupied with me than their prayers...oops, haha. Afterward I went back to my house and ended up missing the goat slaughterings. Oh, darn, maybe next year. We ate good wagasi and yam pilée and drank cold cokes, though, and it was the life. Later, we met up with some friends at a buvette. The entire city was partying for three days straight, even at like midnight, when usually the city is quiet.
Well, that's that for now!
I actually have something super important to talk about, but it deserves it's own entry, so stay tuned for next time,
Elaina
A good friend of mine from college is joining me in the Peace Corps world of West Africa and will be in Mali at the end of January. I know I was already getting ready to plan a Mali trip for next summer, so it works out pretty spectacularly. I'm glad someone from home will be able to commiserate now haha
So this is really just an update post...Thanksgiving is coming up and a lot of us are going to Nati. I am going to try to bake an apple pie. I am now officially helping my office here with learning english...at 7am three times a week, ugh. i have started getting ready for the med school application season as i have officially received my wellesley college admissions committee packet. I am considering adding like three more random Chicago schools since I really want to go to school there. Naturally, my top choice is Northwestern followed closely by the University of Chicago, but honestly I'd be pretty stoked to go to Rush or Loyola or where ever as long as it's in the Windy City, you know? Hmm, what else? Ah, I learned a new french phrase that perfectly sums up what i am supposed to be doing here: faire faire. It basically means that I am to make others do things, to facilitate behavior change, to help the Beninese help themselves. Faire faire.
I can't remember if I mentioned it, but last week was the Muslim holiday, Tabaski, or Eid ul-Adha, a three day holiday that commemorates Abraham’s (Ibrahim’s) submission to the command of Allah in sacrificing his son, Ishmael. The Koran describes Abraham in the following passage:"Surely Abraham was an example, obedient to Allah, by nature upright, and he was not of the polytheists. He was grateful for Our bounties. We chose him and guided him unto a right path. We gave him good in this world, and in the next he will most surely be among the righteous" (Koran 16:120-121). Before Abraham was able to sacrifice Ishmael, Allah intervened and communicated that his devotion was evident through his willingness to obey the word of Allah, thus his sacrifice fulfilled. Allah gave Abraham a ram to sacrifice instead. The people celebrate the holiday by attending mosque services and praying and then sacrificing insane numbers of goats. Some families save up for an entire year to buy a goat so that they can have a good Tabaski. I myself went to the nearest mosque and prayed with my friend, Affissa. She came by my house and we performed our ablutions, ritual washing of our faces, hands, and feet. We then went to the mosque where she handed me prayer beads and I pulled my headscarf over my hair so that my body was almost completely covered. The room I was in had only women and anyone under the age of 15 was definitely more preoccupied with me than their prayers...oops, haha. Afterward I went back to my house and ended up missing the goat slaughterings. Oh, darn, maybe next year. We ate good wagasi and yam pilée and drank cold cokes, though, and it was the life. Later, we met up with some friends at a buvette. The entire city was partying for three days straight, even at like midnight, when usually the city is quiet.
Well, that's that for now!
I actually have something super important to talk about, but it deserves it's own entry, so stay tuned for next time,
Elaina
Friday, November 19, 2010
a light at the end of the tunnel
Things are looking up. Colt will be here in 29 days, the Harmattan winds have started bringing cooler nights and wonderful midday breezes, my french is almost always adequate in any given situation, and those damn baby goats are as cute as ever. I have a new found sense of duty after filling with patriotism post season two of the west wing. i am serving my country by living here, i am working toward international cooperation and peace by living with the people making little money and hand washing my laundry. There is honor in that and i am really starting to believe it. I thought I believed it when I applied, but Peace Corps applicants have no idea about so many things. I think it takes at least a good chunk of a year to realize how much you don't know and even more time after that to find the perspective that will foster effective work. I am at that point. I started so completely misguided and I had done my homework! I was as possibly prepared as can be expected from a well educated American 22 year old and rounding up to my fifth month here I am only now seeing that there might actually be a place for me here. I had to get lost in myself, in the dark, before I could see the possibility for something other than a cheap idealism. I have come full circle as it were, and i am just now understanding that there was something almost insincere about our desire to serve.
life's too short
i know that life is very slow here and i am often frustrated by inefficiencies and stress like bad internet connections, heat, bugs, constant harrassement from men, and the lack of regular sex. I have recently decided though that there is absolutely nothing i can do about the vast majority of those problems and stressing out about them just raises my blood pressure in 95 degree heat. I also spend a lot of time annoyed by the slow pace of my work and how ineffectual i feel like I have become at a time when I thought I was going to be having the most impact on the world. I have realized, though, that this is just the way it is and i should spend more time trying to be successful working in this system than trying to change the system. This is Africa and there are many many cultural and historical (not to mention geographical and climate related) reasons for the way things are here. Honestly there is a certain amount of naivete and meglomania associated with the assumption that a volunteer living here for just two years can have any impact on the larger social structures that make up that system. I am starting to see, though, that if I accept the things I cannot and should not change, I just might be able to help in a way that works for Africa.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Coke and Development Economics
11/04/10
Right now I am at a buvette drinking a coke and listening to some bollywood music under a huge mango tree. It is still light outside, but it won't be for too much longer; the sun sets early here. I am sitting by myself which is considered totally weird to the Beninese. If I wasn’t looking very busy scribbling in this notebook I would probably be hit on at a rate of like 4 men an hour. On second thought, I’m not sure the notebook makes a difference…
A few weeks ago I was here with Doug when we found out about the 5 year old who drowned in the well and for some reason I can’t help but think of that every time I am at this buvette, even if just for a brief moment.
Damn, I wish I had a diet coke instead of this delicious regular one. I miss those. When I get back to the states, I am going to drink one every day! Oh wait…
In the spirit of keeping you all informed and aware of my life, I suppose I will describe the scenery here while I wait for my dinner of couscous and spicy omelette.
Inevitably the scene changes whenever I show up. It’s calm here I imagine, before I arrive; the people all clustered around the mango and guava trees, nursing their bottles of Beninese brews. They talk quietly in French and local language about whatever it is that they talk about. I get there, though, and the charm is temporarily broken. The kids start screaming ‘batouré, batouré!’ Women come up with things for sale on their heads: bananas, fish, fried bread with spicy sauces. Men try to get my number or sell me phone credit, leather shoes, or knockoff sunglasses called Ray Bon’s. I greet them all, tell them to go away, and sit while the scene slowly goes back to something akin to what is was before.
I can never really just disappear, to slide into anonymity and just observe some moment here; wherever I go is shaped by my presence. The closest I get to being invisible is when I wear a headscarf like the Muslim women and a long skirt, but even then people do double takes. I get hit on a lot less that way, though.
My homologue, Imorou, calls me and decides to come meet me. He shows up and we get to talking. We speak franglais, my favorite foreign langue parceque I parler it so bien. Imorou is getting better at it, but still has trouble mixing French and English together in one sentence. He laughs when I talk about wanting to ‘manger something.’ We talk easily, Imorou and me. We discuss malaria for a bit and the politics of racism, a discussion that he hold mostly in French and I in English, but we each understand the other. I admit to him that I get angry and frustrated by the indifference that most of the world has for Africa.
‘Me, too,’ he says simply, taking a sip from his soda and leaning back in his chair.
I get to thinking about my purpose here as I am wont to do on hot, African evenings. I guess I thought that I would have had more inspiration living here, more insight into solutions, but honestly I am just more confused.
I see poverty, sure. It’s everywhere, ubiquitous. Dirt roads, mud houses, walls in disrepair, trash everywhere, dirty clothes, beggars. I guess when everyone is poor it becomes the average and there isn’t anything unique about it anymore. I don’t even think about it most days. People get by, same as anywhere. Things are different, sure. Few people have THINGS like cars, refridgeraters, ovens. Is that what poverty is? Not having an oven?
I make 90 mille a month which is less than 200 dollars US, and honestly that is not very much money at all; it wasn’t enough to buy a fridge (100 mille!). It’s not much more than most people here make, either. Imorou makes way more than that. Hell, most zemidjans make more than that if they aren’t being lazy.
I’m not sure what my point is. Clearly people in Africa don’t have a lot. The richest person in Djougou makes like 1 percent of the income of a poor American. I’m struggling because I’m really having a hard time seeing how it matters. If women are having healthy babies with few complications why does it matter that the health center is unairconditioned? Or if kids are going to school why does it matter that they had to walk 2 miles to get there? If all the kids do it and are fine?
But here’s the thing: not all pregnancies ARE healthy and not all kids DO go to school. Sure it’s like that in the states, too, but it’s normal here, it’s more common here for a woman to die of post birth hemorrhaging and for thirteen year old girls to drop out of school so they can take care of their younger brothers and sisters. There is malnutrition and suffering and unclean, unsafe working conditions. Just because I’ve gotten desensitized to 8 year olds walking 10 kilometers barefoot doesn’t mean the kid couldn’t use some shoes. Just because no one is complaining that they make one dollar a day doesn’t mean they’re living easy.
People here work HARD, too. I didn’t visit the health center for almost a week and when I saw it yesterday there was a new, huge cement wall painted and complete around the entire center. I am constantly noticing new buildings, new businesses, new mamans selling street food. Things change and evolve here so quickly I am constantly surprised by the work ethic, especially since I’ve always been told that people here are hyper laid back or even lazy. That is just flat out not true, at least not in my experience. So why the fuck are people still dying from tuberculosis?? Is it just money? Benin already relies heavily on foreign aid; it’s like 80 percent of the GDP or something. Throwing more foreign aid can’t possibly be the solution, but hell, maybe it is. Jeffrey Sachs, my once favorite economist says that is indeed the answer. More money, more money. I really want to see change from within the country, though. Work ethic is good, sex relations are bad…women are not particularly valued economically. Maybe there’s something there that needs exploring, I don’t know.
I don’t know. Is education the answer? Yes, probably. That and a little bit of everything else. There’s no way that just giving more money to the government could be the answer, is it? Just a few more billion…clean up the streets, create some jobs, make sure kids are sleeping under mosquito nets. Fuck, I really don’t know. I am not an economist, I’m not even really an international aid worker. I’m just a health volunteer who feels underutilized doing a job I’m not sure about in a country that I’m not even sure wants my help or even needs it.
This was not supposed to be a rambling attempt to understand the role of foreign assistance in fighting poverty in Benin…but oh well. Hopefully some of this stuff will get a little clearer before I have to write my personal statement for medical schools. All I can say now is ‘um, yeah, so I do something one might call ‘work’ in an African health center…and maybe Jeffrey Sachs is wrong,’ which I don’t think is going to quite land me an interview at Northwestern.
Imorou doesn’t really seem to have any answers either. When he mentions colonialism all I can think about is how America was once a colony, too, but I don’t have the guts yet to say it out loud. I think I might have heard that on the West Wing anyway and I wouldn’t want to pass off Aaron Sorkin’s ideas as my own.
So we lapse into silence or move onto another idea, leaving Africa’s problems to the diplomats and politicians at least for tonight. I go back to watching the goats and chickens under the mango tree while the sun sets and I finish my coke.
Right now I am at a buvette drinking a coke and listening to some bollywood music under a huge mango tree. It is still light outside, but it won't be for too much longer; the sun sets early here. I am sitting by myself which is considered totally weird to the Beninese. If I wasn’t looking very busy scribbling in this notebook I would probably be hit on at a rate of like 4 men an hour. On second thought, I’m not sure the notebook makes a difference…
A few weeks ago I was here with Doug when we found out about the 5 year old who drowned in the well and for some reason I can’t help but think of that every time I am at this buvette, even if just for a brief moment.
Damn, I wish I had a diet coke instead of this delicious regular one. I miss those. When I get back to the states, I am going to drink one every day! Oh wait…
In the spirit of keeping you all informed and aware of my life, I suppose I will describe the scenery here while I wait for my dinner of couscous and spicy omelette.
Inevitably the scene changes whenever I show up. It’s calm here I imagine, before I arrive; the people all clustered around the mango and guava trees, nursing their bottles of Beninese brews. They talk quietly in French and local language about whatever it is that they talk about. I get there, though, and the charm is temporarily broken. The kids start screaming ‘batouré, batouré!’ Women come up with things for sale on their heads: bananas, fish, fried bread with spicy sauces. Men try to get my number or sell me phone credit, leather shoes, or knockoff sunglasses called Ray Bon’s. I greet them all, tell them to go away, and sit while the scene slowly goes back to something akin to what is was before.
I can never really just disappear, to slide into anonymity and just observe some moment here; wherever I go is shaped by my presence. The closest I get to being invisible is when I wear a headscarf like the Muslim women and a long skirt, but even then people do double takes. I get hit on a lot less that way, though.
My homologue, Imorou, calls me and decides to come meet me. He shows up and we get to talking. We speak franglais, my favorite foreign langue parceque I parler it so bien. Imorou is getting better at it, but still has trouble mixing French and English together in one sentence. He laughs when I talk about wanting to ‘manger something.’ We talk easily, Imorou and me. We discuss malaria for a bit and the politics of racism, a discussion that he hold mostly in French and I in English, but we each understand the other. I admit to him that I get angry and frustrated by the indifference that most of the world has for Africa.
‘Me, too,’ he says simply, taking a sip from his soda and leaning back in his chair.
I get to thinking about my purpose here as I am wont to do on hot, African evenings. I guess I thought that I would have had more inspiration living here, more insight into solutions, but honestly I am just more confused.
I see poverty, sure. It’s everywhere, ubiquitous. Dirt roads, mud houses, walls in disrepair, trash everywhere, dirty clothes, beggars. I guess when everyone is poor it becomes the average and there isn’t anything unique about it anymore. I don’t even think about it most days. People get by, same as anywhere. Things are different, sure. Few people have THINGS like cars, refridgeraters, ovens. Is that what poverty is? Not having an oven?
I make 90 mille a month which is less than 200 dollars US, and honestly that is not very much money at all; it wasn’t enough to buy a fridge (100 mille!). It’s not much more than most people here make, either. Imorou makes way more than that. Hell, most zemidjans make more than that if they aren’t being lazy.
I’m not sure what my point is. Clearly people in Africa don’t have a lot. The richest person in Djougou makes like 1 percent of the income of a poor American. I’m struggling because I’m really having a hard time seeing how it matters. If women are having healthy babies with few complications why does it matter that the health center is unairconditioned? Or if kids are going to school why does it matter that they had to walk 2 miles to get there? If all the kids do it and are fine?
But here’s the thing: not all pregnancies ARE healthy and not all kids DO go to school. Sure it’s like that in the states, too, but it’s normal here, it’s more common here for a woman to die of post birth hemorrhaging and for thirteen year old girls to drop out of school so they can take care of their younger brothers and sisters. There is malnutrition and suffering and unclean, unsafe working conditions. Just because I’ve gotten desensitized to 8 year olds walking 10 kilometers barefoot doesn’t mean the kid couldn’t use some shoes. Just because no one is complaining that they make one dollar a day doesn’t mean they’re living easy.
People here work HARD, too. I didn’t visit the health center for almost a week and when I saw it yesterday there was a new, huge cement wall painted and complete around the entire center. I am constantly noticing new buildings, new businesses, new mamans selling street food. Things change and evolve here so quickly I am constantly surprised by the work ethic, especially since I’ve always been told that people here are hyper laid back or even lazy. That is just flat out not true, at least not in my experience. So why the fuck are people still dying from tuberculosis?? Is it just money? Benin already relies heavily on foreign aid; it’s like 80 percent of the GDP or something. Throwing more foreign aid can’t possibly be the solution, but hell, maybe it is. Jeffrey Sachs, my once favorite economist says that is indeed the answer. More money, more money. I really want to see change from within the country, though. Work ethic is good, sex relations are bad…women are not particularly valued economically. Maybe there’s something there that needs exploring, I don’t know.
I don’t know. Is education the answer? Yes, probably. That and a little bit of everything else. There’s no way that just giving more money to the government could be the answer, is it? Just a few more billion…clean up the streets, create some jobs, make sure kids are sleeping under mosquito nets. Fuck, I really don’t know. I am not an economist, I’m not even really an international aid worker. I’m just a health volunteer who feels underutilized doing a job I’m not sure about in a country that I’m not even sure wants my help or even needs it.
This was not supposed to be a rambling attempt to understand the role of foreign assistance in fighting poverty in Benin…but oh well. Hopefully some of this stuff will get a little clearer before I have to write my personal statement for medical schools. All I can say now is ‘um, yeah, so I do something one might call ‘work’ in an African health center…and maybe Jeffrey Sachs is wrong,’ which I don’t think is going to quite land me an interview at Northwestern.
Imorou doesn’t really seem to have any answers either. When he mentions colonialism all I can think about is how America was once a colony, too, but I don’t have the guts yet to say it out loud. I think I might have heard that on the West Wing anyway and I wouldn’t want to pass off Aaron Sorkin’s ideas as my own.
So we lapse into silence or move onto another idea, leaving Africa’s problems to the diplomats and politicians at least for tonight. I go back to watching the goats and chickens under the mango tree while the sun sets and I finish my coke.
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