look at me, im a lion! raawwr!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Mete Zaari?
Mete Zaari?
In dendi, that phrase means “how is your day?” Now, to me, it means “How is your new and awesome baby kitten?” Her name is Zaari and she is about 7 weeks old. Her birthday, then, I’m deciding, is February 5th. She is a light orange color with subtle white streaks and a pink nose. Her eyes are a sort of greenish blue grey color. She’s active and likes to explore, but because she’s from an African family, she’s still a bit feral. I’m taking her to the vet here in Djougou probably next week just to get her checked out and get rabies shots. If he’ll do it I’ll also get her spayed then, but she might be considered too young. Otherwise I’ll get her spayed as soon as possible; I only want ONE kitten.
I went to get her this evening when Imorou called me up and asked me if I was ready to go on a ride to get a kitten. I enthusiastically agreed, but was pretty skeptical of the whole situation when he showed up on his moto with a tiny cardboard box full of small holes. I asked him where we were going and he replied “Natitingou.” Which is like 30 miles away.
We ended up just riding for maybe 10 miles before pulling off on a side road and down a smaller twisting terre rouge. We ended up in front of what I later found out was his sister’s house. Three half naked children come running up greeting us in dendi and French and asking for gifts. Imorou, being the business sort of uncle that he is, just barks out an order and they go running off back into the house through the waving curtain that acts as a screen door. Seconds later they come bursting through with two terrified looking kittens.
One was a little plumper than the other. Both girls, I knew already I was going to have to change my name choice from Koyo since I had already planned that out as a boy name. The scrawny one was almost completely black with arrestingly blue eyes. The orange one was fatter, with grey eyes. They were both trembling with fear and when I set them down to see how they played with each other, they both joined forces and darted back underneath the curtain. I followed them inside and saw their mother, looking beat to hell, lying in a corner on the cement floor. Obviously still nursing, she seemed stressed and checked out. The black kitten was no where to be seen; one of the kids went off into the other rooms to look for it. The orange one, she was gnawing on the bristles of a broomstick that was laying near the mother, her fear already forgotten. Clearly it was not an ideal situation because generally I would have preferred happy kittens who liked to play and weren’t scared of people. But in this situation, I chose the fatter, slightly less terrified one.
The ride home was interesting. She definitely did not like her little box and tried to escape several times. It is not easy to carry a struggling kitten on the back of a motorcycle! But we managed to get to my house, buying a can of tuna for us both and a yogurt for me on the way. I immediately did what all the websites have suggested I do: put her in a closed off room with water, food, her bed, and her litter box and left her alone. She started meowing and crying right away, although stopped long enough to eat her tuna. I decided to replenish her food a bit, thinking that she probably wasn’t getting a whole lot of food back at the house. She ate all that, too. An hour or so later, I gave her more with a crushed up cherry tomato and she ate until she was full (and had a couple bites of the tomato, too). I am glad I don’t have to worry about her not eating!
For the first few hours I just let her stay in there; she quieted down after a bit and I chatted with Colt online while he prepped for his job interviews. It rained and thundered for a while and I was nervous about how she’d handle that so I went into the room and read a book on the bed while she explored (ie, stayed mostly under the bed). I talked to her softly, read out loud a bit and just got her used to me. I picked her up a couple times and petted her until she resisted and then set her down on her bed. She still didn’t really respond to me. I put my hand out before I left and she darted back under the bed. I was sad, so I left the room, feeling like we would never connect and she’d be scared of me forever.
I came in later to give her one last piece of tuna before telling her goodnight and giving up until tomorrow. Instead of hiding, though, she came right over to the bowl while I was breaking the fish into smaller pieces. Then I realized with a happy little jolt that she was actually purring! She leaned up against me just a little bit before she ate those last couple bites. Then she went over to her litter box and peed. Just like a normal cat! I just about died with happiness!
Of course, she promptly laid down and tried to sleep on her pee, so you know, I still have a ways to go. But, hey, I count that as a pretty decent start.
So, welcome Zaari. I really hope you don’t die anytime soon.
E
In dendi, that phrase means “how is your day?” Now, to me, it means “How is your new and awesome baby kitten?” Her name is Zaari and she is about 7 weeks old. Her birthday, then, I’m deciding, is February 5th. She is a light orange color with subtle white streaks and a pink nose. Her eyes are a sort of greenish blue grey color. She’s active and likes to explore, but because she’s from an African family, she’s still a bit feral. I’m taking her to the vet here in Djougou probably next week just to get her checked out and get rabies shots. If he’ll do it I’ll also get her spayed then, but she might be considered too young. Otherwise I’ll get her spayed as soon as possible; I only want ONE kitten.
I went to get her this evening when Imorou called me up and asked me if I was ready to go on a ride to get a kitten. I enthusiastically agreed, but was pretty skeptical of the whole situation when he showed up on his moto with a tiny cardboard box full of small holes. I asked him where we were going and he replied “Natitingou.” Which is like 30 miles away.
We ended up just riding for maybe 10 miles before pulling off on a side road and down a smaller twisting terre rouge. We ended up in front of what I later found out was his sister’s house. Three half naked children come running up greeting us in dendi and French and asking for gifts. Imorou, being the business sort of uncle that he is, just barks out an order and they go running off back into the house through the waving curtain that acts as a screen door. Seconds later they come bursting through with two terrified looking kittens.
One was a little plumper than the other. Both girls, I knew already I was going to have to change my name choice from Koyo since I had already planned that out as a boy name. The scrawny one was almost completely black with arrestingly blue eyes. The orange one was fatter, with grey eyes. They were both trembling with fear and when I set them down to see how they played with each other, they both joined forces and darted back underneath the curtain. I followed them inside and saw their mother, looking beat to hell, lying in a corner on the cement floor. Obviously still nursing, she seemed stressed and checked out. The black kitten was no where to be seen; one of the kids went off into the other rooms to look for it. The orange one, she was gnawing on the bristles of a broomstick that was laying near the mother, her fear already forgotten. Clearly it was not an ideal situation because generally I would have preferred happy kittens who liked to play and weren’t scared of people. But in this situation, I chose the fatter, slightly less terrified one.
The ride home was interesting. She definitely did not like her little box and tried to escape several times. It is not easy to carry a struggling kitten on the back of a motorcycle! But we managed to get to my house, buying a can of tuna for us both and a yogurt for me on the way. I immediately did what all the websites have suggested I do: put her in a closed off room with water, food, her bed, and her litter box and left her alone. She started meowing and crying right away, although stopped long enough to eat her tuna. I decided to replenish her food a bit, thinking that she probably wasn’t getting a whole lot of food back at the house. She ate all that, too. An hour or so later, I gave her more with a crushed up cherry tomato and she ate until she was full (and had a couple bites of the tomato, too). I am glad I don’t have to worry about her not eating!
For the first few hours I just let her stay in there; she quieted down after a bit and I chatted with Colt online while he prepped for his job interviews. It rained and thundered for a while and I was nervous about how she’d handle that so I went into the room and read a book on the bed while she explored (ie, stayed mostly under the bed). I talked to her softly, read out loud a bit and just got her used to me. I picked her up a couple times and petted her until she resisted and then set her down on her bed. She still didn’t really respond to me. I put my hand out before I left and she darted back under the bed. I was sad, so I left the room, feeling like we would never connect and she’d be scared of me forever.
I came in later to give her one last piece of tuna before telling her goodnight and giving up until tomorrow. Instead of hiding, though, she came right over to the bowl while I was breaking the fish into smaller pieces. Then I realized with a happy little jolt that she was actually purring! She leaned up against me just a little bit before she ate those last couple bites. Then she went over to her litter box and peed. Just like a normal cat! I just about died with happiness!
Of course, she promptly laid down and tried to sleep on her pee, so you know, I still have a ways to go. But, hey, I count that as a pretty decent start.
So, welcome Zaari. I really hope you don’t die anytime soon.
E
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Death Match Destruction: A lizard's tale
I have to confess that I’ve been terrified to go into my kitchen for two days. I haven’t been able to do my dishes or cook anything, although I just bought some couscous that I really want to try out. This fear due to several factors including the dust covered “clean” dishes, the pile of crusty, dirty dishes left by a not-so-considerate group of PCVs, the spider webs and spiders, and…the two huge freaking lizards who set up shop between my water filter and grimy stovetop during my absence.
For two days, these lizards have been the bane of my existence. I know they are both males because at first they would both do the push-ups, head bobbing thing which is a sign of dominance, an act to show off who is the more bad-ass of the two. At some point this morning, their constant challenging came to a head in an epic, lizard battle, death match.
They battled. Using their spiny tails and heads as fierce weapons, they jumped and dived and dove and circled each other with looks of menace in their eyes all the while in my kitchen and patio. They scaled the walls, chasing each other back and forth, leaping astonishing distances to either escape or catch the other. I watched, mildly horrified, mostly annoyed at the noise, until their heaving chests marked an impasse. That’s when I struck.
Like lightening, I burst through my screen door with a bucket and lid and bolted straight for the smaller lizard looking shell shocked on my western wall. He made a futile attempt to scurry away, but when I thought he might outrun me, I reached for my broom and freaked him out with the threat of continued violence. The larger lizard watched from his hiding spot behind the kitchen door, content to rest, but clearly shaking with fear. I lunged, dropping the broom. The lizard leaped dramatically, but I was not distracted. I lithely slipped the bucket underneath him and used the lid to gently swipe him from the wall after his unsteady landing. The lid went on. He struggled and then went still, playing dead. It didn’t matter; I had what I needed. I marched through my living room and deposited him outside of my front porch by tipping the bucket over. At first, he tentatively ventured his head out, not believing in the promise of freedom. And then, once he realized there was nothing holding him back, he darted into the weeds faster than I’ve ever seen a lizard move.
Feeling smug, I went back for the second, larger lizard. I’d like to say that my experience with catching lizards thus far (ie the one I had caught minutes before) prepared me well for this one. It did not.
After twenty minutes of chasing and lunging, poking and trying to trick him into running into the bucket, he tired out and retreated under my sink. I moved in, grabbed a spatula off the counter, and literally scooped him up like a pancake and plopped him into the bucket. He didn’t even struggle. Outside the front door, he bolted to join his mortal enemy in the weeds and, presumably, to continue their epic battle of destiny.
And me…well, I went back into the kitchen to do some dishes and make some couscous.
For two days, these lizards have been the bane of my existence. I know they are both males because at first they would both do the push-ups, head bobbing thing which is a sign of dominance, an act to show off who is the more bad-ass of the two. At some point this morning, their constant challenging came to a head in an epic, lizard battle, death match.
They battled. Using their spiny tails and heads as fierce weapons, they jumped and dived and dove and circled each other with looks of menace in their eyes all the while in my kitchen and patio. They scaled the walls, chasing each other back and forth, leaping astonishing distances to either escape or catch the other. I watched, mildly horrified, mostly annoyed at the noise, until their heaving chests marked an impasse. That’s when I struck.
Like lightening, I burst through my screen door with a bucket and lid and bolted straight for the smaller lizard looking shell shocked on my western wall. He made a futile attempt to scurry away, but when I thought he might outrun me, I reached for my broom and freaked him out with the threat of continued violence. The larger lizard watched from his hiding spot behind the kitchen door, content to rest, but clearly shaking with fear. I lunged, dropping the broom. The lizard leaped dramatically, but I was not distracted. I lithely slipped the bucket underneath him and used the lid to gently swipe him from the wall after his unsteady landing. The lid went on. He struggled and then went still, playing dead. It didn’t matter; I had what I needed. I marched through my living room and deposited him outside of my front porch by tipping the bucket over. At first, he tentatively ventured his head out, not believing in the promise of freedom. And then, once he realized there was nothing holding him back, he darted into the weeds faster than I’ve ever seen a lizard move.
Feeling smug, I went back for the second, larger lizard. I’d like to say that my experience with catching lizards thus far (ie the one I had caught minutes before) prepared me well for this one. It did not.
After twenty minutes of chasing and lunging, poking and trying to trick him into running into the bucket, he tired out and retreated under my sink. I moved in, grabbed a spatula off the counter, and literally scooped him up like a pancake and plopped him into the bucket. He didn’t even struggle. Outside the front door, he bolted to join his mortal enemy in the weeds and, presumably, to continue their epic battle of destiny.
And me…well, I went back into the kitchen to do some dishes and make some couscous.
Kitten plans!
I do not yet actually have a kitten, but many people are helping me search for one and probably I will have one soon. Many PCVs are looking out for one and are supposed to let me know if they see any newborns or have a cat themselves who is pregnant. I've also asked Affissa and her friends as well as Imorou. He got me all excited today when he said there was a "cat proprietor" who he would call, but then the guy was busy or something and nothing came of it. So I went home and tried to get my house "cat prepped".
At this point I have a little bed set up next to my couch and a water and food dish area by my back door. I put the litter box in my spare bedroom in the corner. I'll just be using sand for the litter, but that seems to work with other volunteers' cats. As far as diet goes, I'll probably feed him marche fish as well as bits of whatever I'm eating (eggs, yogurt, bits of couscous, some fruit and veggies). I've done some research and it doesn't seem like I definitely need premium canned kitten food, but I still would really like to be sent some in any care packages you all are sending me, just as a nice treat for Koyo (his future name-- means "child" in Dendi).
I have some zyrtec on hand for if my allergies are bad at first, but I think if I keep him out of my bed and wash my hands after playing with him, it won't be too bad. My allergies have decreased significantly since I was a kid and the last kitten I played with did not have much of an effect on me at all.
Well, that's it for now. I'm back at work and just working on getting my house cleaned up after 6 weeks of being empty. I'll let you all know when I actually find a kitten!
E
*update: My homologue, Imorou, called and told me that tomorrow I can talk to the cat guy after work. Here's hoping!
At this point I have a little bed set up next to my couch and a water and food dish area by my back door. I put the litter box in my spare bedroom in the corner. I'll just be using sand for the litter, but that seems to work with other volunteers' cats. As far as diet goes, I'll probably feed him marche fish as well as bits of whatever I'm eating (eggs, yogurt, bits of couscous, some fruit and veggies). I've done some research and it doesn't seem like I definitely need premium canned kitten food, but I still would really like to be sent some in any care packages you all are sending me, just as a nice treat for Koyo (his future name-- means "child" in Dendi).
I have some zyrtec on hand for if my allergies are bad at first, but I think if I keep him out of my bed and wash my hands after playing with him, it won't be too bad. My allergies have decreased significantly since I was a kid and the last kitten I played with did not have much of an effect on me at all.
Well, that's it for now. I'm back at work and just working on getting my house cleaned up after 6 weeks of being empty. I'll let you all know when I actually find a kitten!
E
*update: My homologue, Imorou, called and told me that tomorrow I can talk to the cat guy after work. Here's hoping!
Friday, March 18, 2011
The Phases of the LDR
I. TOGETHER
(1) Honeymoon
Intense happiness at the reuniting after time apart. Marked by a relatively unrealistic lifestyle: joined at the hip, all activities are performed together, inseparable. High intensity, almost giddiness pervades the time together. Duration is short, 10% of time together up to two weeks.
(2) Comfort
Intensity has faded into a happy comfort. This phase most resembles the routine that occurs or would occur when not involved in the long distance relationship. Healthy arguments are resolved happily, and playfulness and flirting are commonplace. At times there is an almost disbelief that separation will occur. Duration is up to 90% of time together and can last indefinitely if the separation is withheld.
(3) Anticipation
In the last few weeks or days together, a very brief phase of remorse occurs. It is a glimpse of the sadness that both know is to come. Duration is only a day or two and can sometimes be interpreted as outside stresses.
(4) Anger
In the days preceding the separation, there is an increased amount of arguing and frustration. Fights occur more frequently and there could be entire days where one or both parties are argumentative or antagonistic for no apparent reason. Duration is only a day or two and can often be shortened if recognized.
(5) Separation
The day of separation is marked by highs and lows, spontaneous tears or laughter. The intensity of sadness is proportional to the anticipated amount of time apart. The end of this phase marks the beginning of the APART section, and the commencing of the Acute Sadness phase.
II. APART
(1) Acute Sadness
The most painful stage. Short, but almost unbearably intense. Can last up to a week and is characterized by regular bursts of tears, sleeplessness, and an aching feeling like one's heart has been punched out. High levels of communication are very important here and yet unproductive as most conversation is repetitive pleas and declarations of missing the other. Duration is thankfully only a few days, up to a week or so after the initial separation.
(2) Sadness
The Acute phase transitions into the Sadness phase quite smoothly. Slowly the tears start to come less often and just a generalized depression overlays everything. Conversations with the parter are important during this time, as they are a light of happiness in the dark. Duration can be short or seemingly unending depending on how conscious the individual is of the situation.
(3) Apathy
Sadness morphs into Apathy, one of the most dangerous phases. An offshoot of depression, the individual sleeps excessively, takes off from work, skips meals, and basically just zones out. Even conversations with the partner do not overly interest one in the apathetic phase. Duration can be up to 50% of time apart, but can be curtailed by engaging in activities that draw attention, a "fake it 'til you make it" perspective that gives a false, but comforting sense of acceptance.
(4) Fear
This acute phase is a clear indicator of the end of the Apathy phase. It is marked by sudden anxiety about the security of the relationship or fears about the partner's health or safety. Dreams where a partner leaves or is injured are common. Decisions to prematurely end the separation most often occur here. This phase is most often alleviated by good communication with the other partner, alleviating the fears and encouraging the struggling partner to be strong. Duration is short if the separation is successfully maintained, up to a week or two.
(5) Acceptance
When the fear fades, Acceptance occurs. If successfully managed, this can be the longest phase of the separation, up to 80%. This phase is marked by typical levels of happiness and sadness as found in the general population with the highest levels of relationship satisfaction occurring before and after conversations with the partner. When both partners are in this same phase, the separation is not unduly difficult and can be pleasantly managed with letters, gifts, texts, phone calls, and skype conversations. If the other phases are experienced quickly, getting to this phase is like a breath of fresh air, leading to a healthy relationship and planning for the next reunion. Duration can be the remainder of the separation with occasional relapses to the others if not cognizant. If mindful, the Acceptance phase can be just another variation of the Comfort phase.
I am in the Acute Sadness phase right now but I know that it will all be okay soon! It's all about pushing through and getting to the part where routine makes things easier. But it sucks. It always sucks.
E
(1) Honeymoon
Intense happiness at the reuniting after time apart. Marked by a relatively unrealistic lifestyle: joined at the hip, all activities are performed together, inseparable. High intensity, almost giddiness pervades the time together. Duration is short, 10% of time together up to two weeks.
(2) Comfort
Intensity has faded into a happy comfort. This phase most resembles the routine that occurs or would occur when not involved in the long distance relationship. Healthy arguments are resolved happily, and playfulness and flirting are commonplace. At times there is an almost disbelief that separation will occur. Duration is up to 90% of time together and can last indefinitely if the separation is withheld.
(3) Anticipation
In the last few weeks or days together, a very brief phase of remorse occurs. It is a glimpse of the sadness that both know is to come. Duration is only a day or two and can sometimes be interpreted as outside stresses.
(4) Anger
In the days preceding the separation, there is an increased amount of arguing and frustration. Fights occur more frequently and there could be entire days where one or both parties are argumentative or antagonistic for no apparent reason. Duration is only a day or two and can often be shortened if recognized.
(5) Separation
The day of separation is marked by highs and lows, spontaneous tears or laughter. The intensity of sadness is proportional to the anticipated amount of time apart. The end of this phase marks the beginning of the APART section, and the commencing of the Acute Sadness phase.
II. APART
(1) Acute Sadness
The most painful stage. Short, but almost unbearably intense. Can last up to a week and is characterized by regular bursts of tears, sleeplessness, and an aching feeling like one's heart has been punched out. High levels of communication are very important here and yet unproductive as most conversation is repetitive pleas and declarations of missing the other. Duration is thankfully only a few days, up to a week or so after the initial separation.
(2) Sadness
The Acute phase transitions into the Sadness phase quite smoothly. Slowly the tears start to come less often and just a generalized depression overlays everything. Conversations with the parter are important during this time, as they are a light of happiness in the dark. Duration can be short or seemingly unending depending on how conscious the individual is of the situation.
(3) Apathy
Sadness morphs into Apathy, one of the most dangerous phases. An offshoot of depression, the individual sleeps excessively, takes off from work, skips meals, and basically just zones out. Even conversations with the partner do not overly interest one in the apathetic phase. Duration can be up to 50% of time apart, but can be curtailed by engaging in activities that draw attention, a "fake it 'til you make it" perspective that gives a false, but comforting sense of acceptance.
(4) Fear
This acute phase is a clear indicator of the end of the Apathy phase. It is marked by sudden anxiety about the security of the relationship or fears about the partner's health or safety. Dreams where a partner leaves or is injured are common. Decisions to prematurely end the separation most often occur here. This phase is most often alleviated by good communication with the other partner, alleviating the fears and encouraging the struggling partner to be strong. Duration is short if the separation is successfully maintained, up to a week or two.
(5) Acceptance
When the fear fades, Acceptance occurs. If successfully managed, this can be the longest phase of the separation, up to 80%. This phase is marked by typical levels of happiness and sadness as found in the general population with the highest levels of relationship satisfaction occurring before and after conversations with the partner. When both partners are in this same phase, the separation is not unduly difficult and can be pleasantly managed with letters, gifts, texts, phone calls, and skype conversations. If the other phases are experienced quickly, getting to this phase is like a breath of fresh air, leading to a healthy relationship and planning for the next reunion. Duration can be the remainder of the separation with occasional relapses to the others if not cognizant. If mindful, the Acceptance phase can be just another variation of the Comfort phase.
I am in the Acute Sadness phase right now but I know that it will all be okay soon! It's all about pushing through and getting to the part where routine makes things easier. But it sucks. It always sucks.
E
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