A Cockroach story

Sunday, August 29th, 2010

Yesterday the Peace Corps gave all of us trainees an official memo declaring that we were not allowed to attend the Akon concert that evening because of unspecified specific security and safety concerns for us. I had already decided to not go because it would have been super awkward with just my papa, but even so I was a little bit irritated that they waited until the day of the concert to actually forbid us from going. What if people already had tickets? I know current volunteers went, though, despite the strong suggestion that they not go as well.

So I’m back in Porto Novo and week 7 is just getting ready to start. We meet our counterparts/homologues/work partners tomorrow at Songhai in the afternoon. This is a person that we are assigned to work with in our partner institution. For example, because I am working with PSI, my work partner will be someone who works in the same building as me, doing basically the same kind of work I’ll be doing. They may or may not have more authority at work than we will, but they definitely know more about the place. On a work related note, I apparently have air conditioning at my office. Awesome. But at the same time, the girl I am replacing was telling me yesterday that she didn’t have a lot of room to pick her own projects, that PSI really just gave her a very structured work environment. That is a bit of a bummer for me. Usually RCH volunteers have buckets of free time and really need to be self motivated. Since motivation is not exactly a trait I lack, I could do very well in an unstructured environment. I mean, I know I’ll do fine with heavy structure, too, I think I just would have preferred more freedom in the selection of my projects. But. My house and living arrangements are going to be so awesome that I feel like I’m not allowed to complain and everyone insists that I can do a secondary project with a midwife if I want. So, we’ll see.

And on va voir really soon, because Wednesday we are shipping out to go on our post visit. As usual, the Peace Corps hasn’t really given us much information on what to expect at post visit or what we’ll be doing or where we’ll be staying or any other seemingly important logistical stuff that we’d like to know more than two days in advance like how we’re getting there in the first place. So somehow at sometime on Wednesday with some unknown number of other people I will be taking the 8 odd hour trip up to Djougou. I think I’ll be going with my new work partner. I know I’ll be there four nights and that I’ll be shown around town and the office and hopefully have a chance to get some stuff for the house if I need it. My buddy, Josh, who will be up in Boukoumbe (boo-KOOM-bay) offered to give me a Teflon frying pan, so that’s one nice kitchen item I won’t have to buy at Erevan. Depending on how big it is, I’ll probably get another one. I like having a big one and a littler one. I think I’m going to make a detailed list about the things I need for the kitchen as well as the rest of the house while I’m up there. I’m pretty sure I’ll be staying in the house during those days; if they say no, I’ll probably just insist that I get to. I really need some alone time haha

I feel quite a bit better health wise, but not really at 100%. To a certain extent, I don’t think I will feel fully recovered while in Africa. There’s parasites and amoebas and bacteria in pretty much everything and basically you just get used to feeling sort of icky all the time. Cara, a volunteer up north, was telling me that some volunteers are just plain rude to other people who are sick because it’s just something you have to get used to and deal with. Of course serious illnesses are a different story, but the sort of general gastrointestinal discomfort we’ve all been having on and off for the last 7 weeks is just something that will get easier to handle the longer we experience it. I don’t know, the idea of some new, strange African creatures living in my gut really freaked me out at first; I was committed to boiling and filtering all my water no matter how clean it looked for my entire service, but more and more I’m finding that I can see myself being a little more lax like the other volunteers have gotten over the years. I mean, I’ve been super diligent about it and I’m still sick all the time, so as long as I have pipe water and not a well, I don’t see anything wrong with skipping the boiling step. It takes like 10 hours for the water to cool down afterward anyway and during Chaleur I don’t think the water will cool down for days. Although, I will probably have a fridge which will help. I haven’t decided yet and I’ll probably boil for a while at post just to be safe. But damn, I’m pretty lazy, and if PSI has me working hard all day in the office, I’ll be tired, too! Haha

So I thought I’d end this entry with a little story. Yesterday I woke up, used the bathroom and showered and then came back into my bedroom to find a cockroach up on his back, legs wiggling madly in the middle of the room. Because I was running late and I remembered that the last time this scenario had presented itself resulted in the death of and easy removal by broom of the cockroach, I simply left for school and decided to deal with it later. Well, later arrived and I was still too tired and lazy. So I decided that the corpse (I checked it by blowing on it; it was dead) could probably hang out in my room overnight and I’d sweep my room in the morning while I did all my other cleaning chores. This morning I arose and looked for the broom, but when I returned, the dead cockroach was no where to be found. At first I thought, “holy shit, the blow test didn’t work!” and assumed he had somehow flipped back over and scurried away to continue his life. But I found that implausible, especially since as I peered down to his final resting place I noticed something very strange and disturbing. Laying there, in the very place his body had been just the night before, were two dismembered appendages of said cockroach. Instantly I knew what had happened. Sometime in the night, some other critters or creatures unknown surreptitiously entered my bedroom and mutilated the body of the recently deceased insect and either carted away or consumed them while I slept peaceful nearby, blissfully unaware. Ok, eww. There are four possibilities for the perpetrators. One, one cockroach or several other cockroaches have turned cannibalistic. Two, one of those giant flat spiders came out of hiding for a tasty treat. Three, lizards. I’ve seen them in my room in the evenings and they look like cockroaches would be their fav. Four, and this is the most likely of them all… ants. Yes, ants. Jess Bruce recounted a story to me about a dead cockroach being carted off by a colony of ants while she was living here. Because of the eerie similarity between the two situations, I cannot help but lean in the direction of the ants. But damn, why did they not want the arms?!

This is my entertainment, people. This is what I have become! Where is that biochem text book??!

I just finished cleaning my diamond ring and I was totally surprised at how dirty it was. I had no idea! It looks all new and shiny now and I’ve been thinking a lot about being engaged. It doesn’t actually feel all that different to me than how serious we were before (a fact that I had to insist upon to the Peace Corps people so I could actually go!). But at the same time, there is something different about it. I guess the significance is mostly in how people respond to it. “Boyfriend” is so much less important sounding than “fiancé” and it’s funny because for the last two or so years, “boyfriend” has not really been an acceptable term to adequately express our relationship to other people. By using “fiancé” and having the ring, people don’t question my commitment to him. The other trainees with significant others back home are seen by the single people here as basically fair game, but I am completely off the market, as if I were married. I mean, it’s nice, but it would be frustrating if I were not engaged, but just as serious about us. I don’t know, I’m rambling, but suffice it to say that I am really glad that I am not going to be participating in the Peace Corps hook-up and rumor mill. Apparently everyone gets with everyone else and everyone else knows about it. I feel way too old for that shit, haha.

So apparently the mosquitoes in my house are strong because the first maman had malaria! I asked her today after dinner what was on her hand and she told me it was from an IV when she was at the hospital yesterday because she caught the palu (palu is short for paludisme which means malaria). I told her she should sleep under a mosquito net and she said she already did. But there are like a million mosquitoes out in the living room in the evenings, so I guess there’s no avoiding it. I guess if you’re not on prophylactics there’s really no way to prevent getting bitten by an infected mosquito. It’s kind of cool because I totally have the malaria parasites in my body right now, but the mefloquine keeps the symptoms away. Totally rad, but it means that even if I left Benin right now and didn’t get any more bites, if I stopped taking the meds I could get malaria in like a month. Also, sometimes the parasites stay dormant in the liver and can resurface in like 10 years! Wild stuff. Related to mamans, I haven’t seen the young maman in like two weeks. I think she and papa are having a fight or something. which is understandable since he’s got two wives living in the same house. I’d probably be in a fight a lot, too.

E

Diet Coke and Brad Pitt

So I've spent the last couple nights here in Cotonou and today I feel the worst...which sucks because the lab has not gotten back to me yet about my sickiness and I am concerned that there isn't a shuttle going back to Porto Novo today...but I don't have any more clothes or money with me here.

I'm out of money because I spent it all on DIET COKE and barbecue PRINGLES! There's a really expensive but amazing patisserie just down the block from the Bureau and I splurged when I saw the glorious can of the Gods' nectar. I think that was as satisfied as I've felt since I've been in this country, phone sex included. Sorry, darling.

I then spent the day watching movies...Mr and Mrs Smith, Oceans 11, 12, and 13 will be this afternoon.

I also read a book and gathered like 4 more to take with me when I leave.

The doctor weighed me and I've lost 10 pounds since my original medical interview 6 weeks ago. So, I guess that's one good thing about feeling sick.

I also got to email chat with Alex and feel a lot better about being out of touch with the real world. I think it's crazy that I went from one little bubble to another here.

Oooook, I'm going to try to find some food and watch some more moooovies.

E

AAARRRGGHHH

So I'm definitely staying the night in Cotonou and will be trying to get some American food tonight. I feel like crap, though, so it's not exactly super fun or anything.

I'm also just generally in a bad mood because I forgot my computer charger in Porto Novo and my battery is going to die in a few minutes. Also, i spent about 2 hours loading pictures on these blog and then the internet cut out and the post didn't save. So, I'm really frustrated right now. I should have brought a book or something.

GRRRRRRRR

Repo in Cotonou

Well, I gave in and just decided to go to Cotonou to see the doctors. I've had sickness feelings for about three weeks now and I just feel generally bad. I was also really homesick last night and I've been extremely frustrated with the trainings lately. I think I just need some time away from Porto Novo and stage for a bit to clear my head and get some meds for my tummy.

I'm also feeling sort of ambivalent about going to Akon. I don't really want to go with just Papa. I don't think it will be worth spending the money to not be with any friends since he hasn't told me anything about whether or not other people can come, too. So whatever. It's not worth 5 mille anyway.

Last night I watched two movies on my computer, Blood Diamond and The Constant Gardener. It was a lot of Africa all at once, but it was so nice to just chill in my room. I also ate dinner at a normal American time and totally took it in my room with me to eat while I watched movies...which was lovely. I was so happy that later, when I was going to bed, all I could think about was how fun it was to watch movies and eat food with Colt (usually pizza...) and I was just suddenly really sad. Then I was thinking about Wellesley and Alex and totally missing hanging out with everyone and I had a moment where I realized that Wellesley was really over and i wouldn't be going back. For some reason that was really upsetting and I spent a lot of time crying about that and about the lack of pizza in my life. I actually called and woke Colt up to cry about it all. He was very helpful and only laughed a little bit.

Now I am actually sort of bored. I don't want to watch all my movies (that I got from my language buddy Matt's hard drive), but I also don't think I'll be meeting with the doctor until later this afternoon. Maybe I'll try to go sleep or something or upload photos. My head hurts!

E

Voodoo and Foodoo

Friday, August 20

It is officially less than a month until my birthday and I have started counting down the days. I’m not really sure what I’m so excited about, though. My birthday just so happens to coincide with the exact day that I’ll be traveling up to my post after swear-in. It’s possible that it could end up being my first day at post, but either way it’s not exactly going to be a party. It will be hot and I’ll be exhausted and dirty from travel and I’m sure I won’t have everything I need to feel at home…and I’ll be all alone in a brand new city where I’m probably one of like 0.2% of people who speak English. I guess birthdays aren’t so special as to require a huge group of people celebrating my life or anything, but being totally alone seems sort of a bummer, too. I hope people call me, hint hint.

The language interview went well for me I think. I won’t know for sure what my level is for a few more days, but I know it went up at least one level. I doubt I’ll make it to intermediate high, but on va voir. It’s nice to feel like I can take a mini break and not worry about French for a couple days.

This weekend we’re all getting together and cooking some good old fashioned American food. We’re having fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and mac and cheese with banana bread for dessert. We were promised pizza for a few hours and I was especially excited due to the ridiculous amount of pizza I usually consume in the states, but mac and cheese is still a pretty awesome idea.

I cadeaux’d my can opener to my family today when Rico was opening up my can of peas. He was using a knife and it looked super dangerous, so I just ran and grabbed it and he was super stoked about it. I told him it was a gift for the fam and he definitely was into how easy it was to open up the peas.

I’ve been in kind of a bad mood for the last couple days and I just feel grumpy. I don’t really know why exactly…there’s nothing specific…but just little things seem to annoy me more and my food has not been tasting as good as usual. I think I might be a little sick, but I’m sort of just easily irritated, physically and emotionally. Like one mosquito bite was frustrating me way more than normal and certain little things that other people have done have been more irritating than perhaps the action truly was. I don’t know; I’m ready for a change soon. I like my host family, but I really just need to get to my post so I can figure out my own routine with my own food. I am also really frustrated with the quality of training that we’re getting. I don’t feel like I’m learning anything from the administrative staff and rather all my knowledge is coming from the PCVs. There just seems to be a lot of mix ups and confusion about scheduling and we always seem to be changing things around at the last minute. There have even been a couple things related to health that we’ve been told of which I’m not sure about the validity. I don’t know, I’m just annoyed right now and am really looking forward to week 7 when we go on our post visit!

There was a mini hope for Akon earlier in the week when Papa said he’d think about letting one of the older sisters go with me and then after we could stay at Maman’s sister’s house in Cotonou…but he hasn’t gotten back to me and since the concert is in less than a week, I don’t really foresee it happening.

Ramadan has started and the amount of prayer calls has increased by a large factor. Instead of just a few times a day, I’m pretty sure the pink mosque down the street does the call like every two hours now. I am probably going to keep Ramadan next year when I’m living in a predominantly Muslim area, but in Porto Novo it’s pretty commonplace to see people eating and drinking during the day just because of the large Christian population and no one thinks twice about a yovo doing the same.

Speaking of yovo habits, my beauty routine has changed considerably. Instead of make-up, I basically apply like four different white creams to my body twice daily. One is sunscreen. Another is benzoyl peroxide. Another is this anti-mosquito cream and if that fails, the fourth is hydrocortisone cream. I have all the tubes lined up on my little white plastic desk by my water filter and stack of health related books. And on that note, I really want that “Where There Is No Midwife” book that Jeni bought, but I never actually received. Does anyone know anything about this? Jeni?

I thought I had something else to say, but I don’t remember. TIA

E

Sunday, August 22

I started thinking about writing a book about my Peace Corps service. Since the Peace Corps owns everything I write while I’m here, I won’t be putting any of it up here on the blog because I’m not officially writing it yet. I’m envisioning it as having two main sections for each year of service and having it follow, chronologically, my time here. I’m actually going to include the application process and all the thoughts and decisions about choosing to go. In a really sappy turn of events, I am pretty sure it’s going to be a chronicling of having a super long term long distance relationship in addition to what will hopefully be entertaining snippets of my service here. I know that when I was considering the Peace Corps I read almost everything written by RPCVs and really wanted information about successfully maintaining a serious relationship with someone in the states. So I envision this book as being both informative, reassuring, and an enjoyable read. It always feels very self-involved to be writing something vaguely memoir-esque, but I’d like to think that my experiences here are both enough outside the norm and potentially helpful to others as to negate a little bit of self-aggrandizement. In addition to that book, I’m writing a bunch of Africa related short stories to maybe collect in one book as fiction and publish someday. And in addition to those, I’m continuing on my latest young adult novel about a girl living in the US, but who is actually a fairy princess from another realm. Good stuff. Plenty of things to keep me occupied for after swear-in when I’ll just be sitting around meeting new people before I can actually work.

I met the girl who I am replacing in Djougou and she was super nice and helpful about the house. I haven’t asked her too much about working with PSI yet, but she’s here during this week for training so I’ll definitely have the opportunity. PSI definitely pays for my electricity…so I will be getting a fridge for sure. Immediately after finding that out, I heard that Erevan, the huge yovo store in Cotonou, just so happens to have diet coke…so I will be bringing diet coke to my house in Djougou to get cold in my fridge. I am thinking that during the Chaleur this will be the best idea ever. I also found out about furniture. I will need to get a double bed frame made and possibly some dining room chairs, but that the house is basically completely furnished. She said that I have: a dresser, bedside table, chair for the bedroom, extra bed in the guest room, a cot, a futon like sofa, a coffee table and a dining room table with three chairs, but places for 6 people. So depending on what it looks like on post visit, I might be getting another relaxing chair for the living room and additions to the dining set. I am super happy though! It was pretty funny because she said that everyone always says that she’s spoiled and doesn’t have the “real Peace Corps experience” because the house is so nice, but that she didn‘t really mind missing out. Well, that’s okay with me, too!

Right now I am super hungry for protein. I want a huge glob of peanut butter and I am really regretting not buying some from the peanut butter lady at school yesterday. She’s always there with her jars during all our breaks, but I just decided to wait until Monday for some dumb reason. Mmmmmmm, peanut butter.

So last night Auro came out. Auro is a vodun (voodoo) spirit that comes out in the south of the country during certain times of the year. It is forbidden for a woman to see him; if she does, she will die. Men are supposed to avoid Auro, but nothing will happen if they see him. What happens when “Auro is out” is everyone makes sure they are home before dark and that all the lights are out (because he doesn’t like the light). When he comes by the house, you will know because there is a loud, creepy sound that surrounds the house. There might also be banging on windows and doors. But whatever you do, do not look outside or open the door if you are a woman. It seems sort of silly to us…clearly, “Auro” is just some dude dressed up making a lot of noise to freak people out. But there are actually some pretty serious consequences for not taking Auro seriously. Essentially, because people believe so strongly in the vodun, if a woman is known to have seen Auro, she can be murdered and it will be blamed on Auro. It’s a very subtle difference, but most people don’t even risk looking because of the strong superstition. There are actually some parts of the country where volunteer women are allowed to leave during the time of the year Auro is out because it’s just not safe to risk it. The fear of the community’s reaction to you seeing Auro and the fear of Auro himself become interestingly intertwined in a lot of volunteer’s minds it seems. It almost becomes something you believe in. Last night, for example, I made sure I was home before it was too dark and I asked my host sister when Auro would be out. She said if he came it would be around ten or eleven and that we’d be safe in the house because he wouldn’t come inside the concession. All the windows were covered anyway, though, which seemed super spooky. The entire night I listened for Auro, not sure about what I’d hear. Then I heard it in the distance sometime before midnight. I was half asleep, but the eerie whooping whistle sound was not something I had ever heard before. It never got close enough for me to analyze and I was too tired to stay awake to wait, but the noise was definitely unmistakable for something natural. This morning I’m not even sure if it actually happened or if I was dreaming. The fear of Auro is very intriguing. He never forces you to see him. As long as you’re inside and don’t peek out your windows when you hear him outside, you are in absolutely no danger. And yet, the curiosity about what he looks like…about who he is and how he’s dressed up…about who is with him and what they’re doing to produce the eerie, loud sounds…that curiosity is almost strong enough to almost cause you to want to look, even though you know that looking is the one thing you are not supposed to do. So the fear is not really of Auro, or even of the community’s reaction to you seeing Auro, but of not trusting yourself to have self-control over your own actions. It’s very vertigo-esque. You don’t fear falling itself, but the desire to fall.

I have run out of all snacks and candy. It is really depressing. Someone please send me a package of something! Include stamps (preferably the ‘forever’ kind) and maybe some cheap, women’s cut, colored t-shirts. Handwashing is super rough on my tee-shirts, and whites have not remained white. I’m thinking simple reds and blues, browns, blacks, etc. No writing on them, just a simple scoop neck, size small. Please and thank you!

My birthday is in 28 days! WOO HOO!

E

PS. Apparently, all the money that was stolen from me has been returned! Miranna and Charlie are coming down to Porto Novo at the beginning of week 7 before post visits and will return it to me then. YIPPIE! They will recount the story and the perpetrators then, too…so get ready for that story!

Monday, August 23

Well, the levels are back and I’m intermediate-mid…as expected. I really wanted to get up to intermediate high so I could start learning local language, but apparently no one in our sector is starting local languages yet…so it doesn’t really matter for now. I just have to get one more level before swear in…which I think is possible if I just practice a little bit more at home. It just takes time and it’s hard for me because I am so not a patient person. But little by little I get better. One thing that is sort of frustrating, but nice at the same time is that I have the same instructor as I did before. It is sort of annoying because I wanted to work with someone new, but it’s good because I know her style already. I have two new classmates, though and I think they will make it fun. One guy, Matt, seems very good at just going off on tangents and having a conversation which is so much better than always just doing the lesson. We debated the merits of dutch ovens in french for like ten minutes…which was way better than recounting a boring story.

So I finally went to a tailor to get some stuff made…I haven’t gotten it back yet, but I’ll pick up a new skirt and a modele (the Beninese outfit of skirt and top) on Thursday and report back. Sometimes it’s necessary to get some alterations afterward, but the tailor took all my measurements and I should have some faith in his ability to do a good job. Innocent until proven guilty haha.

After going to the tailor, I bought a coconut on the side of the road off of some little girl’s head. I paid 100 F for it and had a hell of a time cracking it open on the ground. Rico and Fifa helped me and we were giggling for like 20 minutes while we tried to get all the delicious pieces out. There was one particularly stubborn piece that Rico was working on that he kept bouncing up higher than our heads. I was definitely having a good time with it haha. The coconut milk was amazingly refreshing after a long day, too, although I spilled a lot of it on the ground. There was something super rewarding about eating some nourishment that I had worked on with my bare hands (and my leatherman lol).

Well, I guess I should talk about something sad that happened. Today I came home after going to the grand marche to get some meme tish with Carlos and Papa was MAD. He was totally going off on Amede and I asked Rico what was up and he whispered to me that she had failed her school exams and had to repeat the year next school year. On one hand I was happy to see him taking her education so seriously, but damn, he was pissed. He is still mad and she’s been crying for like 2 hours. Every few minutes he’ll come back to where she is and talk to her…the yelling has decreased which I think is good…but she just looks at the ground and cries. I feel so bad and I don’t really know what to do. I would totally give her a hug if I thought she’d be receptive. I tried to give her a piece of my coconut via Fifa, but she didn’t want it. I just wish people would leave her alone. I am pretty sure she gets it now! I told her just now that she would be okay and she just nodded and her eyes welled up. Man, it totes sucks. She’s now just sitting in the living room with us, but on her own couch and she’s just crying silently, looking down while everyone ignores her. It’s so awful but I don’t know what to do!

A commercial for the Akon concert was just on and everyone was like AHHHH, AKON!!! ELAINA TU L’AIME, OUI?! And I was like YES I like Akon, I want to go to the concert…but papa just smiled and went back to berating Amede. Totes lame sauce.

On the lame sauce note, there wasn’t any peanut butter at school today. Also, I’ve given up with trying to be super careful with my weight while I’m living with my host family. They get all sad when I turn down food and since I’m actually usually able to keep eating…and the food is generally pretty tasty…since we’re talking a giant plate of delicious spicy spaghetti for example…I think I will be a happier person if I just sort of enjoy myself for this last month and I’ll watch my weight once I get to Djougou and I can actually have some control over the amount of oil in the sauce and how many carbs I’m taking in. I just can’t control it now and it doesn’t really help anything for me to be all worried about it, you know? So for now…my 6 pack abs plan is on hold. But I will recommence with it after my birthday and hopefully I’ll be super svelte for my Christmas conjugal visit. haha

Ok, I just started laughing at the very serious soap opera and the whole family looked at me like I was being ridiculously disrespectful of the tres grave situation. But I mean, come on. The music was super intense and then this guy said (dubbed over the Spanish) “No, doctor. That is not my brother” and everyone gasped. It was just hilarious and I couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

Oh, Rico’s birthday is the same as Colt’s which he was pretty pleased about. He and Fifa were actually planning the meal for when he visits in December and kept asking me if Colt liked various things…meat, beans, fromage, etc. I had a hard time describing his aversion for red meat, but willingness to eat chicken…especially since the best way for me to explain my vegetarianism is to say that I’m a buddhist and it’s forbidden by my religion. Since that’s sort of true, I guess it works.

Ok….so, one of the sisters just said that Papa is going to go to the Akon concert with me…now I am super confused and frustrated with my French. Grrrrr. Tomorrow I will ask him because he is sort of tired right now.

Until next time,

E

Tuesday

So, I am definitely going to Akon on Saturday! Papa said we're going and maybe I can bring Krista and Andrew.

Today we learned about Moringa oleifera. It is a plant that was introduced to Benin in the 60s and many environmental action volunteers here have worked with it since 2000. It has been called the “Miracle Tree” which is a little sensationalistic, but actually pretty appropriate. Moringa has all the essential amino acids, which is super rare for a plant. It also has more potassium, calcium, and vitamins than most other sources. There is statistical evidence that shows that when added to nutritional recuperation programs, there is a higher success rate of increasing weight and improved health for malnourished kids. It is also an extremely effective carbon sink and absorbs a lot more carbon dioxide than many hardwood trees. It can be used as animal food, fertilizer, a natural pesticide, and a way to purify water. So, I’ll be eating this in addition to eggs and wagasi to get all my protein. Yay!

The Proverbial Roller Coaster of Emotion Post

August 18, 2:50pm CST, 20:50 Benin time

I finally just said screw it and took my computer out into the salon to type this while my family is around. My room is locked whenever I’m out and they’ve had volunteers in the past…and I also usually have my computer with me anyway. I just felt that the hassle of having to type in my hot room all by myself was not worth it; it’s much nicer to be out where there is a breeze and I can chat with the fam! They really loved seeing my tiny computer, too. They were cracking up when I showed them all the photos slide show style of my going away party. Maman said Colt was very handsome and I said I’d bring him by to meet them in December. The older uncle was very interested in the price of mon ordinateur, but whatever. Once I get to my house in Djougou I definitely won’t be making myself a target by letting anyone know about my expensive items, but I feel like I’ve been with this family for long enough that I trust them and I always lock my door anyway. It was a judgment call and maybe not everyone would agree with it, but just know that I didn’t make it lightly and I won’t do the same in Djougou.

Anyway. I thought I’d drop a line to just talk about something other than a simple update about my life and the activities that I’ve been up to. At this point, things are feeling pretty mundane and definitely routine. I still have those “whoa Afrique” moments, but I have gone at least two days where I don’t think specifically about the fact that I’m in Africa. So things are pretty normal for me at this point…which is a bit frustrating because in less than a month I’ll be packing it up to go to the opposite side of the country to start over with a new community, but c’est la vie, n’est pas?

I feel more like a manic depressive than I probably ever will again in my life, as one volunteer put it, and that is so true. Within the space of days or even hours, I can go from being completely elated to crying alone in my room. Some days I think “holy shit, I was like BORN to be a Peace Corps volunteer” and I am feeling totally high on life, and then just a little while after that I’m choking up because my host brother said something that reminded me of Lucas. So I thought I’d just make a couple lists of all the good and bad things that make me feel like I’m on the ol’ roller coaster.

THE BAD

-The smell of fish. My family makes it a lot and it is really strong and really disgusting and I cannot escape it in my room.

-The mosquito/other bug bites. I have scratched so much I worry that I might have scars when I’m done!

-Heat rash. Whenever I run/work out I get these little bumps all over my chest and shoulders where my sports bra has rubbed up against me and it’s ugly and itchy and annoys me!

-Constant YOVO-ing. I didn’t think it would bug me, but it kinda does. The kids are still cute, but adults annoy me. Sometimes I yell the word “mesoui” which means “black person” in Fon and they always crack up at that. That’s definitely not the correct spelling of that word and also probably not something I’ll continue with apres service.

-Missing the USA. Sometimes I miss my family or friends and sometimes I miss the food…often I miss both at once and I am super sad that I won’t be there for at least a year. Since I have to come back to interview for med school, I know I’ll be there next fall at some point, so that gives me some hope for a good pizza…or twelve.

-Missing Colt. It’s a special kind of missing that gets its own mention. It’s like the kind of missing where I wake up sometimes and I’ve been dreaming that I’m sleeping next to him and when he’s not there when I open my eyes, there’s nothing but a sort of crushing disappointment. Knowing that we can’t have a routine together again for two years is actually too overwhelming most of the time for me to think about. Instead I think about how he’s coming to visit in December and just think about it in baby steps. That works pretty well, actually. But I tell ya, some days I just feel BAD because of this one.

-Futility. Sometimes..okay, most of the time, I feel like there’s no way that I can possibly make any sort of difference during my time here. I feel like my choice to join the Peace Corps was primarily a selfish one and that it is incredibly naïve and paternalistic of me to think that I could possibly have any lasting impact here. Sometimes just the thought that the Peace Corps presence indicates substandard living, that me being here necessarily states that Benin is ‘not developed’, feels offensive to me. I don’t know. This topic deserves its own entry, but suffice it to say that my perceptions about what a “third world” country is have been a bit rearranged.

-Being hot all the time. There have been like 2 days where I had chilly moments. The rest of the time, I’m like constantly sweating. The temperature is not super hot all the time, but there’s just no escape from it. It’s like 89 degrees or something, which isn’t bad, but when you can’t get out of it…and it’s a mini sauna under the mosquito net…it sucks. The air conditioned computer room at the bureau in Cotonou is like heaven…and I’ve only been there once since I left.

-Bad internet connections. There are very few times when I am so frustrated I want to scream, but when I just want to post a blog or upload one freaking picture and I can’t because it’s such a bad connection, I want to hit someone or burst into tears or both simultaneously.

THE GOOD

-Receiving letters! Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to send me something (Rhonda, Zach and Lucas, Craig, Dana, and Ally, Mommoo!…I thought if I listed the names everyone else would feel un peu guilty and send something, too….haha…make sure to put an extra stamp in there so I can send one back to you!)

-When someone calls me “madam” on the street instead of “yovo.” I don’t mind the little kids singing the song, but it bothers me when adults, especially men being creepers, will say it to get me to come over and buy something. So when I hear a young adult or grown up call me madam I feel bien integre.

-Cadeux-ing something to a kid (gifting). I just like to give little things to kids I know, like the other night I gave the rest of my pineapple to Fifa, my littlest sister, and she was just so freaking psyched about it that it made me appreciate both pineapples and gifts so much more.

-The little goats. They are adorable and while they’re babies, I like them. The grown ups are kind of belligerent and ugly…but I guess it’s the same with people. There’s definitely a reason I want to be a pediatrician…

-A successful zem ride. One where we saluate each other well and we’re friendly and I don’t get overcharged or called yovo and the ride is pleasant and fun. After those zem rides I feel so much a part of the culture I could just pee.

-The tissue. It’s colorful and beautiful and it’s totally the kind of stuff I like to wear in the states already..but it’s everywhere and totally acceptable to have a bright pink and blue skirt/shirt ensemble.

-Rico. My host brother is awesome. He’s a little brat sometimes to his sisters, but he cooks me dinner and helps me learn how to cook Beninese food on the little tiny gas stove in Maman’s room and I helped him with his English homework…and he’s just such a cool dude. He makes me miss my brothers A LOT, but it’s nice to have a kid around that age to make a connection with. When he saluates with me I just feel a surge of happiness.

-Phone calls from home. Colt, mom, dad, whoever. When my phone rings I am sooo psyched!

-Waking up in the morning feeling like I got a good night’s sleep and not feeling too hot or uncomfortable. Sometimes just before my alarm goes off, I’ll wake up and feel really content, just feeling at a good temperature and like I’ve slept well. Those mornings I wake up and roll out my yoga mat and do some sun salutations avant le journee. C’est bon.

-Wagasi. If it’s good…and I actually have not had any wagasi since the hotel in Cotonou that I thought WASN’T good, it is really good. I’m not sure if it’s just the fact that it’s the seulment cheese I can get in Benin easily, or if it’s legit good…I sort of think the former a la veggie dogs in the states…but I really like it and when I get a repas avec some wagasi in it I am stoked.

-Random English songs. I hear them sometimes while I’m walking down the street or on the radio behind my house and every time I think “I totally know what that song is saying…and probably none of these people do!” It makes me feel kinda cool like I have a secret ability or something. A super power.

Ok, well that’s it for now. I’m happy to see that I have more good things than bad. I guess that’s why I’m still here, n’est pas? I met my postmate, Doug, today. He seems like fun guy and I’ve read his girlfriend’s blog for a year. She’s posted in Ze in the south, but comes up to Djougou once a month, so I’ll probablement be seeing her around un peu.

Friday we have our update language interview/test and I probably won’t get online again until after I know where I’m sitting. My goal is to reach my final level now (intermediate high) so that I can start learning Dendi, the most common local language in Djougou. I think I have a small chance of doing that, but most likely I’ll be put in intermediate low and have to continue with French, which would be fine, I guess since pretty much everyone uses French in Djougou. I am just sort of tired of French lessons and would like to learn something new. One of the volunteers said that I could ask to have some of my lessons perhaps be Dendi and the others be French, even if I don’t make it to intermediate high…so we’ll see. (On va voir) Wish me luck (bonne chance!)

I miss and love you all; send me stuff if you miss and love me too. I looove cadeaux. Also it’s my birthday in less than a month and it takes like a month for packages and letters to get here. Just sayin’.

E

Lalo, Gavages, Voleurs, and Wishes

Tuesday, August 10, 2010, 8:11pm CST, 14:11 Beninese

So I'm sitting here during a presentation after watching a health video of self breast examinations that was very lengthy and thorough. Literally there was this attractive young woman feeling for breast cancer on herself for like 10 minutes while we all watched uncomfortably. It was super hilarious and awkward. I think that was the hardest I've giggled since I've been here.

We're getting ready to embark upon our technical visit and I am going with two other trainees to Lalo, a village in the south that is about 3 hours from here. I'll be with Charlie and Miranna, a married couple that have a pretty sweet blog that I've followed a bit for the last year. Reading their blog always made me a little jealous, so I tended to read the single people blogs more often. But Miranna was one of the volunteers who helped out in the beginning and was incredibly supportive and helpful when I was stressed out about needing to get in touch with Colt. I am happy to get out of Porto Novo and take a trip to see some of the country. I won't get to go all the way up to my Northern post, but it'll be good to see some of the country that I probably won't be that familiar with.

I lent out my book, Cunt, to a volunteer here named Josh after he let me read this awesome philosophy book called the Wisdom of Insecurity. He is pretty hilarious and will be posted as a SED (Small Enterprise Development) volunteer living pretty close to me, just north of Natitangou. I'll also be close to a TEFL-er, Magda, and a couple other health volunteers are just a bit south of me. The volunteer who had my host family last year , Doug, also lives in Djougou and apparently we both have sweet houses. I heard from a reputable source that my house is PINK. Internet, I hear, is pretty expensive to have in my house, though. And since there are a lot of cyber cafes near by, I might not end up paying the money for constant internet because it will end up being like a quarter of my monthly allowance...which is probably too much, but we'll see what my expenses are like after a few months of cooking for myself and doing basic household things. It would be nice to be able to save up a bit of money for a little vacation at some point.

It sounds like Colt is definitely coming for Christmas, which is wonderful because it gives me something definitive to focus on as a countdown. My dad is getting the ticket next month and while it's pretty expensive, it's still do-able. Anyone who can give a little something to this enterprise should send money to Colt! It's like Christmas for both of us and birthday for me all in one! Speaking of his trip, I am pretty sure we'll just be hanging out in Djougou, doing all the normal things I will normally be doing, but I also really want to do a couple sweet ass African things while he's here. I decided it would be a great time to go check out Pendjari, the National Park and see us some lions and giraffes as well as go visit the waterfalls south of Nati. But I want to keep it pretty relaxed so we can have lots of time together stress free. The ticket has not been purchased yet so I'm sort of still nervous, but I will have a great weight lifted once I have confirmation and can officially start planning this trip. But Dad assures me...it will happen before swear-in!

So, I need some good books. I need a book about yoga instruction and a book about Buddhism, Theravada or Zen would be best. I also really really REALLY need a BIOCHEMISTRY TEXT BOOK. DAD, this might be a task I assign to you. It is a large NEED. I have been feeling very intellectually lazy lately and the idea that I am not going to be LEARNING stuff soon, the idea that I am not going back to school in a couple weeks to expand my BRAIN, is actually causing me some distress. The stuff I'm learning now is NOT sciencey enough for me and I NEED some science stuff that is up my alley...and I chose BIOCHEMISTRY. DAD. HELP ME. Haha, Ok, got the point?? I. NEED. SOME. SCIENCE.

In other news, I am really craving some American food...or rather, Mexican food more specifically. The idea of an enchillada or chips and salsa or...QUESO...makes me weep and salivate simultaneously which is a very strange feeling. I want to get together with a few other people to do a taco night or just be able to cook for myself. I am intrigued by the food that my Maman makes for me, but I am really ready to take over that avenue of my life again. I miss the days when I'd just make up an enchillada casserole with ridiculous amounts of CHEESE and just drown in it..the hot, bubbling, delicious, cheesy creamy mmmmmmmmm cholesterol.....Seriously, though. The wagasi is awesome and I'm really glad I'll have it fresh up North. But damn I want me some CHEDDAR. And I also had an elaborate fantasy about a big glass of cold milk yesterday...which is odd since I don't actually even drink milk in the states. But, maybe the fantasy was cold soy milk. Which, incidentally, I can make myself here as well as tofu...both of which I will be making on a regular basis and storing in my FRIGO (that means FRIDGE! yes, my house is awesome).

1:32pm CST, 19:32 Beninese time

I just finished watching awesome Bollywood music videos with my host sisters. Hindi movies and culture is surprisingly big here and I was very comforted by the dancing and singing; it's really familiar to me and makes me feel more at home. I know that's totally random, but definitely true. I also watched the three episodes of Scrubs that I have stored on the ipod. I don't think I've been more content in this country as when I was watching Turk and JD do the world's most giant doctor while snacking on sour patch kids under my mosquito net.

For dinner tonight I had myself a Beninese salad and I'm happy to report that they are growing on me. This one had lettuce, cucumbers, carrots, hash brown cubes (warm from being fried) and hard boiled eggs without the yolks (I totally have kept throwing out the middles and they've caught on that I usually skip that part!) all on top of macaroni pasta with a mustard viniagrette sauce. It was delicious especially since all I had for lunch was fried plaintains and some yellow Nigerian pate (which was awesome, just not particularly filling)

I still could really use some queso, though. I think I'm going to buy some wagasi and some vache qui rit triangles and try to melt them together. I have it on good authority, though, that wagasi doesn't melt. At least not if left out in the sun...but I'm wondering what would happen if I crumbled it up with the softer cheese and put it over a fire..? Probably I'd just get lumpy, gooey vache qui rit...but honestly, damn! I mean, I could add a little pimant, some tomatoes and onions all chopped up, a little cilantro (I hear it exists but have yet to view or smell it in anything) and a little lime (and I mean little as in tiny...the limes are like the size of a small kumquat here). I am thinking that could be pretty damn good queso. I'd also have to make my own chips with which to enjoy my concoction...but that's pretty straightforward in the COOKIN'N'BENIN cook book we all received a couple weeks ago. I am totally going to do this as soon as possible. The problem is that I don't have any pots and pans of my own right now...and I'm sort of liking that I don't have to do my own dishes yet. I mean, as much as I want to be cooking for myself, I am damn happy I don't have to spend multiple hours scrubbing my plates and pans yet. It already takes me three hours to do my laundry by hand!

On the subject of cheese, we totally learned yesterday how to make soja fromage (soy cheese). It's actually just tofu, but the fact that I can make it here is totally bomb. It is actually pretty straightforward. You buy plain soy beans in the market and then soak them overnight. In the morning you take 'em to the mill and get them ground up into this sticky paste stuff. You then take that paste and add water while straining it through a thin, mesh-like fabric. The liquid that comes out is essentially soy milk. The solid part that stays on top is the toxic shell pieces of the seed that you throw out. After that, you take the soy milk stuff and boil it for like 20 minutes. You can then drink it after it cools (add a little sugar and vanilla and fucking have vanilla SILK) or you can add an acid to make it curddle to make the tofu. You can use akassa water, which is basically acidic water that people use to make this fermented type of pate, or you can use water that has sat overnight with 20 lemons squeezed into it. It's also possible to use just straight vinegar, but that's more expensive. Anyway, you put that in the boiling soymilk and then collect the curddles that collect on top. You then squeeze out all the liquid in those curddles by pressing it out with huge blocks and stones while protected in plastic. After that, the curddles are boiled in seasoned water to add flavorings...good flavors I've had are salt, ginger, and pimant. The tofu/soy cheese can be stored for 2 days at room temperature or for 2 weeks in the FRIGO. Often people will fry the pieces and add them to sauces in place of meat. It's super firm tofu, too, which is awesome. I'm totally going to make tofu stir fry when Colt comes to visit haha. It's a great option for us vegetarians and is also full of so many nutrients that we, as health volunteers, can give demonstrations about how to make it and that will totally count as working. Score.

I keep wanting to go on a run, but the street outside my house is a busy one and I really just don't like everyone watching and laughing at me as I run by. I think if it was my permanent home I would just get used to it, but here I am just so exhausted all the time that running is just not high on my priority list. I do a lot of working out in my room, though. Yoga, especially. I tell ya, 20 sun salutations is some good cardio! I also use my 5 Liter water jug as a weight and do some situps and pushups while listening to Usher. I manage to get in a pretty decent little work out at least 4 times a week. C'est tres bon! I even burned some incense the other day and felt very much at peace, even though the pink mosque down the street was blaring the muezzin call over my Usher and Nicki Menaj collaboration. C'est la vie en Afrique.

SOMEONE PLEASE SEND ME SOME MOVIES. I'm already bored and it's going to be so much worse during the first three months at post when I am not allowed to work!! AHHHH. Seriously, though, keep a list of sweet movies I need to see when I get back and every now and again, toss one in the mail for me or something.
HERE's some more stuff for my wish list...I'll add it to the side bar, too. All of these things are great birthday gift ideas (39 days until age 23!) Some of this stuff I only need once (like specific books...so y'all should coordinate with each other) but other things can just keep on coming for the whole two years (LUNA BARS HOW I LOVE THEE)
-movies (DVDs)
*Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse
*Inception
*Other new releases that you thought were awesome and I must see before 2012
-used magazines (COSMO, the Economist, etc when you're finished reading them)
-photos!
-Luna bars (lemon and dulce de leche)
-Taco seasoning
-Enchillada sauce (do they make powdered versions?)
-cheap non scented hygiene wipes
-Cheap non scented facial wipes
-splenda packets
-starbucks instant coffee packets with creamer in it
-vanilla extract
-baking powder
-nutmeg
-Biochemistry textbook (DAD as discussed)
-Yoga positions book
-Book on buddhism philosophy (especially something about western buddhism and living as a buddhist in western society)
-An American flag to hang in my house
-cheap, but cute picture frames for regular sized photos for my house
-Letters! tell me about your lives! I'll write back from AFRICA if I get a letter from you!
-Grateful dead bear stickers for my moto helmet (at least 3 inches tall)
-What to Expect When Your Expecting (hey, i have a lot of down time and it's never too early to be prepared for womanhood! It's also very applicable to a lot of the work I'll be doing hopefully)
-Where There is no Midwife (or something like that...Jeni bought it for me already I think, but I need someone to send it to me!)
-Ipod charger that plugs into the wall ( I KNOW I used to have one, but it seems to be lost, now)
-Colt, in a box, with some enchilladas


Saturday, August 14, 2010, 2:01pm CST, 20:01 Benin

Well, we returned last night from our awesome and simultaneously not so awesome four days with the Darrs in Lalo, Benin. First off, I'll start with the awesome. WE ATE SO WELL. We arrived Wednesday afternoon after a funfilled 4 hours on the road with a quasi suicidal/homicidal taxi driver (he literally reached out his window at one point and slapped some guy on a moto for driving badly!) and immediately we made our way through the town of 5000 to be greeted by good old American PB&J l'ananas style with a side of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies from Miranna. That first night we spent just a few minutes preparing CHILI. It was the Lalo Three Bean Moringa Chili after we added Moringa leaf powder (this freakishly healthy plant that has all the essential amino acids!). It was actually sort of cold outside since it had been sprinkling on and off all day and the warm, spicy chili really hit the spot. We nommed it with corn bread and some cold Beninoise beers and we all stuffed ourselves...or 'gavaged' ourselves as the Beninois are wont to do with small children sometimes.

For lunch the next day we stopped by a "restaurant" and had what is known as...cum. It is like pate blanche, but slightly fermented and reboiled and it has more of a bread like consistancy. It was actually freaking delicious and it was served with this spicy tomato sauce with fresh onions and a dark red pepper sauce. We used our hands (but only the right!) to scoop up the sauce with the cum and it was amazingly refreshing to have a plate of truly delicious Beninese food.

The second night was our MEXICAN FEISTA. YES, that's right. I HAD MY MEXICAN FOOD. We made flour tortilla chips that were almost as good as Omaha's California Tacos chips, used taco seasoned tofu (soy cheese) as a spicy sauce, had this awesome fresh pineapple salsa, and I made the bombest, most amazing guacamole that has ever been created by desperate individuals from fresh, organic avocados, onions, tomatoes, pimants, salt and limes. The only thing missing was the cheddar cheese, but frankly, that guac made up for it and those chips were fucking fantastic. I'll be recreating this delicacy Djougou style in the future. With all of that we added Monocos...beer with grenadine and sprite...and continued gavaging ourselves in the amazingness.

Food gavage session number 3 took place for lunch the next day. We did this insane American breakfast feast with hashbrowns (headed up by moi), scrambled eggs with a bit of the soja cheese, fresh pineapples, freshly squeezed orange juice created by hand from one of the trainees, drop biscuits done dutch oven style with jelly, avec ketchup and there was even gravy for the biscuit eating non vegetarians present. That night we went over to Charlie's homologue's place for traditional Beninese cooking and in true Beninese fashion didn't actually eat dinner until nearly midnight! We had pate rouge and sauce de legumes with soja cheese and chicken. They kept all meat separate, too, which was nice. I watched one young kid defeather and gut the chicken while we discussed the names of the internal organs in French and English. It was pretty awesome. The pate rouge was amazing, probably my favorite form of pate. With the meal (eaten and prepared communally with the right hand) we all had some shots of sodabe (SODA-BEE). It is quite simply, moonshine. It tastes like most hard liquors...disgusting, but is rumored to be super bad for you...if you imbibe too frequently, it is possible to go blind...or so the rumors go. I did a half shot (NOT an AFRICAN half shot...which is really just a full shot filled to the brim so it's dripping over haha) and was pretty out of it for a while. It was a good night...

UNTIL... (Commencing the not so awesome part of this tech visit) we were all robbed. During the party time at Charlie's homologue's, someone swipped the key to the Darr's house and must have snuck over there while we were all busy cooking and talking outside. It was dark and later when we were looking for the key, it wasn't where we'd left it. After spending a while searching with lanterns and torches, Miranna found it in a totally random, hidden spot as if someone had dropped it surrepticiously. When we arrived at the house, we found missing things: a camera, an ipod, a clock, and for me...30,000cfa had been taken out of my wallet which was in my backpack. Well, naturally we all sort of freaked and told the homologue and he rounded up his people and no one knew anything. After a frustrating few hours (it was basically 3 am by the time we ended up going to sleep), we headed back and decided to go to the gendarmes in the morning. Ce matin, we told the police about it, called the peace corps, filed a report, and then returned back to the house to find one of the homologue's kids there with the stuff that he had found for us that morning from one or two of the older teenage boys from the party. No names were given, but the camera and ipod and clock were returned...along with 3,000cfa of mine. That's really it, at this point. They're trying to figure out who did it (apparently the gendarmes have 3 of the guys at the station now and to get the rest of my money back because at least 25,000cfa is still missing.

So I have a lot of thoughts about this. One, it's always wrong to steal things and in this culture especially it is seen as really low. I'm sad because I'm worried about the relationship now between the Darrs and their town, although they called and said that everyone knew about it and were really sorry about it. It sucks because the way they see people could be different now; they'll worry about locking their door and where the key is, whereas before it was just something they had to do. More than the things and money stolen, there has been a loss of comfort and of community. I would gladly give up that money to have them feel secure and connected with their village again, but at the same time I am really frustrated that everyone got back their stuff, but me! I'm not surprised though...they probably went out and bought several rounds of Sodebe in Dogbo with that money. Whatever. I'll either get it back or I won't, but either way I've definitely experienced a quintessential Peace Corps event and I know I'll be guarding my Djougou house key closer than perhaps I would have otherwise. TIA, man. TIA.

Sunday, August 15th , 6:03am CST, 12:03 Benin

My camera has also been decently working, so I think I'll wait before officially asking for a new one. I took lots of pictures during tech visit and got a lot of the mural we painted at Charlie's health center. I headed up the main picture of a woman breast feeding her baby and we added in french a message that said it is important to breast feed exclusively until the baby is 6 months old. It looks really good and I'll try to post some pictures of the visit soon. I think my picture plans are just to get some up on the blog when I can and then make facebook albums whenever I'm in a workstation and can take as much time as necessary to upload them.

I am so hungry right now and I have to wait until my family makes me lunch! I am SO READY to have my own house and cook my own food. Tech visit really just solidified that desire. I just feel like such a child now. I go to school, have my meals prepared for me, ask for permission to go out and speak as if I were twelve years old, I am starting to feel like I actually am! Akon is having a concert in Cotonou next week and the tickets are like $10, but none of the trainees are allowed to go because we'll be there after dark, but the volunteers who've been here for a year are totally going and getting a hotel room afterward. I am wicked jealous. But, I guess that's life as a twelve year old for ya.

Our language re-evaluation is on Friday, so this week I'll be studying French like mad to try and score high enough to not have to stress out anymore. If I can get intermediate high I can start learning a local language, but I doubt I'm at that point quite yet. Honestly I feel like I can follow a conversation better, but that I need a lot of work still in order to effectively express myself.

Well, Sunday is laundry day, so I'd better start thinking about that. UGH.

E

Djougou and bisap!

Sunday 8:45 Benin/2:48am CST

Happy Sunday morning, tout le monde! Some of the family is at the Evangelical church and the other section (which includes Maman Rico) is at the Catholic church. From what I gather, this difference causes a little bit of drama in the household. I declined to attend either simply by saying I didn't want to go. They didn't press me for more details, but I think I would just say that I believe in something different. Apparently the Beninese just want to know you believe in something, but don't really care what it is, haha.

Last night over some bisap (bee-sap), a sugary drink made from hibiscus leaves, I talked with Maman in English and realized that her English is not so good afterall. She can really only barely remember basic phrases for greeting and some vocabulary, so I think it's pretty funny that she told me that she spoke English! It's really weird to be here and recognize that my French is better than a lot of people's English. My French instuctor, for example, teaches English when she doesn't work for the Peace Corps, but she definitely cannot sustain a conversation in English. I guess high school foreign language instructors are often the same way if they don't regularly speak the language they are teaching. It's just strange to know that my best language for communication here really is French. When someone says something to me in English and I don't understand the word because the accent is to thick or they're mispronouncing it, I ask them to tell me the word in French, and then I'll totally understand what they were trying to say in English. It's just bizarre to have to ask for clarification in a language other than English. I also showed Maman, Rico, and Ginny some pictures of my family and Colt and I have this one of Dad holding me on his back when I was like 6 months old or something and they thought that was HILARIOUS. Men do not carry babies like that here and women ALWAYS carry babies strapped to their backs, so Maman was in a giggle fit over that. She also thought Colt was handsome and I promised to bring him through Porto Novo on our way up to Djougou in December. I spent a lot time explaining all my parents' marriages and remarriages and what brothers belonged to what parents and she exclaimed at the end that American families were just as complicated at Beninese ones! That surprised her I think because we're always portrayed as so nuclear: Mom, Dad, Sister, Brother, dog, white picket fence. I felt pretty stoked to be able to give a good picture of America; that's the 2nd goal in action! (The Peace Corps has 3 goals: 1)To help people who need and want our help, 2) To share American culture with the Host Country, and 3) To share the Host Country culture with America)

Yesterday we did some baby weighings in a nearby village. I weighed two babies and they were freaking adorable. A couple babies were on the borderline of the danger zone, but no one was in the red. We spent a lot of time with the mothers singing and dancing before and after the activity which was a fun icebreaker and helped put the moms at ease before handing over their little babies to a bunch of yovo strangers! A lot of us used the moment to get a shit ton of pictures of and with the crazily enthusiastic African kids. They really love cameras and posed in all sorts of ridiculous poses, just like Oliver does! It was really fun although one bad thing has happened. MY CAMERA DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE! The stabilizer (according to people who know stuff about cameras) isn't working and I can't get a clear shot of anything; all my photos are strangely distorted. Nothing really specific happened to it; I didn't drop it or anything...it's just old I guess. So that's a bummer. It is sort of priority that I get another camera at some point...preferrably something nice and good that will last and take some bomb ass photos of Africa...but one that is user friendly for a photography novice. I am sort of into it, though, so it's something I could definitely learn about and get into. ANY SUGGESTIONS? My birthday is in fact coming up, just 3 days after swear-in...if anyone is interested. hint hint to anyone not already helping send Colt to me for Christmas...

Speaking of Djougou...

It is apparently a beautiful area of the country and the city is surprisingly clean for its size. I am excited to be in such a vibrant, hopping place. It is, like a lot of Benin, full of a lot of young people, and there are many efforts to get more tourism going. It's a very Muslim city with each neighborhood having at least one mosque. I am hoping to get an opportunity to go to service with some neighbors or something, but I'm not sure about the rules for non-followers. I'm pretty sure another trainee went with his host family once, so we'll see. Djougou is the major carrefour (intersection) in the North, with roads leading to Natitangou (my Peace Corps work station city only an hour away), Parakou (the other work station city in the North), Cotonou (the Southern work station), and the Togolese border. Apparently most people have cars and/or motos as it is a relatively wealthy city and there are beaucoup de zemidjians. It is also known as a safe city, with a few instances of petty theft as the only concern. I will have running water in my house and will probably end up boiling my drinking water and then filtering it only because I'll want to use the spiget on the filter to collect my water from. From what I've gathered from most volunteers, filtering tap water is a little bit overkill. There is a grande marche that has pretty much the best stuff in the North, including a lot of fresh, organic vegetables and fruits. There are also boutiques for more expensive stuff like pasta, butter, spices, and coffee. Wagashi is native to the North and is apparently super delicious up there...and since wagashi is probably my favorite Beninese food (when it's not too strong), I am pretty happy about that! There are two health centers and a private hospital, as well as many birthing centers. It seems that PSI, the NGO I'll be working with, is interested in having me work with sexual health and family planning initiatives, which is totally great. I'm also, hopefully, going to have an opportunity to work with some of the birthing centers if I ask for it. I definitely don't want to work in the PSI office all day...that's not really how I envisioned my Peace Corps service. But a little bit of that is fine as long as i have time to do some of the more hands-on stuff I am interested in doing as well.

A few days ago I had another "holy shit, i'm in Africa" moment. Maman and I went to Cotonou on Friday to say good bye to Jess before her flight and on the way, the driver was playing loud African music on the radio. The sun was setting and the silhouettes of the palm trees were outlined by the pink haze on the horizon and people in the car were chatting animatedly in Fon or Goun. I took a deep breath of the cleanest air outside of the cities I've had and thought "WHOA, I am in AFRICA." I'm almost certain the novelty will wear off, in fact to some extent it already has, but for now, I am happy to savor those split second moments where I feel the adrenaline of newness again and even if just for a fraction of a second, reaffirm my decision to live and work here. I am exactly where I want to be right now in my life and that is a wonderful bit of knowledge to have.

Until next time,

E

Le Grande Marche and DJOUGOU

August 6th, 6:40am CST, 12:40 Benin

So the news is in and I'll be living in the beautiful city of...DJOUGOU (pronounced: joo-goo). It is, as Jess says, "the lottery of Peace Corps posts." In my beautiful house, I will have electricity, running water (that includes my own shower!), and internet...yes, internet...in my house. It's pretty funny because PC has been telling us not to get used to the nice amenities of Porto Novo because we probably wouldn't have them at our post...but it looks like my post is actually going to be nicer haha.

So Djougou is the capital of the Donga region of Benin, in the Northwest region of the country. It takes about 8 hours by taxi to get up there from Cotonou, but the road is safe and quick. The city is the commercial capital of the northwestern part of the country and has like a quarter of a million people in it. Suffice it to say, I am not going to have the typical villager life Peace Corps experience...which I am totally okay with. The city is primarily Muslim, the area around the city is really beautiful, and there are sweet touristy waterfalls just 45 minutes-hour north of me.

I will be working with PSI (Population Services International) which is an NGO widely regarded internationally and I'll be doing a lot of structured work. I'm not really sure what I'll be doing, but the organization works a lot with women and children and STI information.

I am really happy about this and cannot wait for my post visit in a few weeks to check it out. I'll let you know more information soon, but now I'm off in search of a nice cold soda before more french lessons this afternoon.

Also, randomly, Djougou is also the city where the last trainee who stayed with my host family lives. SO WEIRD. haha

YAY!

E

August 5th, 2:58pm CST, 20:58 EN AFRIQUE DE L'OUEST

This evening I went with the Wiricks to purchase a few necessities at the Grande Marche (Grahnd Mar-shay). After a very disappointing time at the internet cafe after school, I headed back to my house to get my moto helmet and talk to Maman. Actually, my time at the internet cafe merits some mention here. I was there to have a skype date with Colt and he and i had only been talking for a few minutes when I was assaulted by children. It was sort of cute at first; I had them sing the yovo song to Colt which was pretty hilarious, but then they would not leave me alone. They actually started touching my computer and would not go away when i said "don't touch me, don't touch my computer. Thank you, go away, good bye!" They understood French, but they just didn't give a damn. If their parents had been around, they would have gotten smacked in the face probably...but naturally I'm not going to start beating the children...so I just got up and left. The internet was sucking anyway, haha. I think that was the most frustrating moment I've had so far in this country, though. I just wanted to talk to my baby! Grrrrrrr.

Anyway, I talked with Maman a bit and told her I was heading off to the grand marche and she complemented my French and we chatted a bit about her dinner plans, etc, and I was pretty stoked to understand like the vast majority of the conversation. I definitely think my French has improved because there have been like 3 or 4 moments in the last couple days where I was like "there's no way I would have understood that 2 weeks ago"...so that's bon!

I met up with the Wiricks at the grand marche (I asked people where the other yovos were and eventually found them!). The place is crazy busy with vendor stalls all smashed together along the streets with motos passing by right in front of them and chickens and goats all meandering with kids and mamans with babies strapped on their backs. The vendors are all trying to call the shoppers over to their place and especially us since we're white and assumed to have lots of money to spend. We made our way through the vegetable section in search of tissue and on the way we happened to run into the jae lady. Ok, so jae are these sexy, lingerie beads that many many women wear here under their clothes. They are just strings of beads that go around the waist and you wear them all the time, to bed, to shower, etc. They are definitely pretty, but the coolest thing about them is the sexiness of them. Apparently if men see them, they go wild. One volunteer I was talking to dated a Beninese man for a while and once during an argument, she shook her jae at him when he was storming out of the house and when he saw her do it, he just demurely came back in and she had his full attention. She said that he would sometimes touch the small of her back and lightly graze his fingers over the jae in public places and that was super sexy to them. So, anyway, Heather and I saw the jae lady and decided that we must procure some for ourselves. So we spent the 600F for them to be fitted and I swear, there were probably 10 Beninese men who did double takes while we were getting them fitted, haha. Heather and I each got colors we thought our men would like...but since I'm mostly the only one who will see mine, I made sure I'd like it, too haha. I guess Colt will just have to wait until December to understand the wild sex appeal of the jae =D

After that, I quickly bought a coin purse and one of the sweet loofahs here that are basically like the loofahs in the US, but unraveled so it's one long piece of fibrous fabric for showering. Then we headed for the tissue aisle and it was a mad house there! There were like 4 places all shouting at us to come and check out their stash and we all bought so much tissue! I got a demi-piece (half piece) that is 6 meters to make a modele, which is the traditional outfit here with a long skirt and top. For someone short like me, 4 meters is sufficient, but I'll use the left over 2 meters to be a pagne, which is just a wrap around skirt. I also bought two other sets of tissue, but only got them in 2 meters so that I can either use them as pagnes or just get a couple simple skirts made. Pagnes aren't really professional wear so I shouldn't wear them to training, but if they are actual skirts, I can wear them. We'll see...I definitely have plenty of time to build up my Beninese wardrobe. All in all, I basically got 4 bottoms and one top and I spent about 10,000F...which is roughly 20 bucks...but for my payrate, it's more like $100. But honestly, it was worth it and I still have a lot of money from home that I got changed into cfa when I was in Cotonou.

When I returned home from the market, i showed my family my tissue and whispered to Maman about my jae and I discretely showed them to her. She was super excited and pulled me aside to show me hers, which were very pretty. She then asked when my fiance was going to come visit and I said that he'd come in December and that I'd bring him to Porto Novo to meet them if I lived close enough (which I'll find out tomorrow!!!!!) I then had myself a bomb ass dinner of a salad on top of spaghetti with french fries mixed in with a delicious mustard based viniagrette on top. C'est bon et j'ai bien mange! Apres, j'ai mange l'ananas (pineapple) that was pretty awesome, too. It was a good evening!

I am also feeling really good about the work that I am going to be doing here in the health sector. So often we're just trying to figure out how to live and talk to people that we sort of forget why we had the passion to come here in the first place. Today we had a talk about the different forms of malnutrition in African children and how to recognize them...and also the various causes and solutions for prevention and treatment. Most of what I'll be doing in this section will be helping mothers prepare and learn about healthy meals for their children, encouraging exclusive breast feeding for the first 6 months and then progressively weaning until 2 years of age. I'll also be doing baby weighings probably to teach the mom's about how their children are growing and sensibilizations about complete meals. I know I am destined to go into medicine, though, and not public health, because honestly, when I get down to it, I am actually a lot more interested in treatment than prevention...but of COURSE I KNOW that prevention is KEY to helping these kids. I know that and believe whole heartedly in public health work...but I'll be damned if I wasn't a bit disappointed when the speaker said the really sick kids would be sent to hospitals away from the health centers where I'll be working. I can't help it; I want to know the science of disease progression...I want to see someone get healthier because of my work. Maybe I just don't have patience and need the instant gratification that comes with treatment as opposed to the subtle knowledge that I've made a difference with prevention. I don't know what it is exactly, but I get much more excited when I think about myself in a hospital treating patients who are sick than thinking about giving a demonstration about how to prevent sickness in the first place. I guess they're just two sides of the same coin and I'll have many years to do treatment after I've left Benin.

On that note, I will have to see what my community at post is most interested in me doing. I can focus on child nutrition and give sensibilizations or I can just work in the health center or do a combination of both...or I can focus on sexual health awareness and HIV/AIDS...or I can do maternal health...it just depends on what they think I can be most helpful with and what resources are available to me. I would really like to work with pregnant women with prenatal care and my super big most awesome-est goal is to help a midwife (une sage-femme) with births...and maybe even catch a baby if I can swing it. That would be my ultimate post: one that I can work with a midwife on prenatal care, births, post natal care, and lactation as well as help moms prepare healthy foods for their kids and do baby weighings.

Well. Tomorrow we find out where we're going and who will be living closest to us. SO EXCITING! I'll try to hurry over to the internet cafe and get this posted along with the location of my site.

A demain,

E

PS. The mefloquine induced insomnia seems to be better, but I think it’s only the first couple nights after taking the pill that are bad...so we’ll see next week if it’s any better. But last night I slept very well and had awesome, very vivid, fun dreams. Yay!

JACK BAUER

August 4th, 10:26pm CST, 16:26 Benin time

Right now I am online at the internet cafe near Gbezounkpa and I am attempting to update with pictures instead of playing soccer. I've had that mefloquine induced insomnia business for 2 nights now and I am way too exhausted to run around in the heat for 2 hours.

I don't have a lot to add to my post yesterday, so I'll just say that we're all very excited to hear about our placement on Friday. Heather and Craig suspect they'll be hanging out in the center of the country, the Collines, so we'll see if I'll be near them.

Today we worked on gardening and we got all sweaty and dirty. It was fun, but I was pretty tired. Heather and I now have a sweet little plot of land to cultivate each day. Hopefully we'll get some cucumbers, lettuce, and local tubers by the time we swear in after September!

I am super hungry and I really hope my family has some decent food for me tonight...I don't think I can handle french fries again.

Oh, and check out Jessica Bruce's blog, Under African Skies, because she totally had the same host family as me...which is just so weird to know after reading her blog for almost a year!

Please send me mail or email or packages or something! I want to hear about your lives =D

I think I'm going to go home and take a shower!

E

August 3rd, 2:19pm CST, 20:19 Benin

So I broke into my sour patch kids stash this evening and am happily chomping down on some sweet, sugarly deliciousness as i type this. I thought I could make it a month without candy, but apparently, it is pas possible.

Tomorrow is another round of soccer and this time I am going to remember to bring sports shorts! I have been so tired lately, though, because i think the mefloquine is causing a bit of insomnia. I talked to the doctors today about it and they said that insomnia is a common side effect reported by volunteers, but that it usually goes away after three or so weeks on the drug. I'm going to stick it out for another week, but if I don't get a good solid night soon I'm going to be grouchy and not very energetic for soccer!

I can't remember if I mentioned it earlier, but another volunteer has left training. I had talked to him on several occasions and knew he was having a hard time. I was really making an effort to include him and let him know I was available to chat about the suck fest that this whole thing can be...but I guess if you want to leave, you should go. There's only so much other trainees can do to help. I know for a couple days I was really having a hard time and the only people who reallly helped were current volunteers who had served for a year already. But even for me, I didn't need immediate counsel or anything because I wanted to leave after training was over; I knew I could make it to post at least. It's definitely a bummer to hear about one of us leaving and supposedly about 20% of a stage will ET by the end of the 2 years. So we're already 2 out of 60 gone after 2 weeks...that means like 11 or 12 of us will leave before then...which is like crazy weird to think about. But it won't be me. At least not just because I miss Colt or something. If my post is terrible for administrative or logistical reasons, I suppose I can't completely rule out my becoming part of that statistic until I've seen my post. Not everyone leaves because they miss a significant other (but of the 20% who ET, 80% of those are for that reason).

Tonight my host family was watching 24. Yeah, that's right...24...the Fox TV drama that kicks major ass. It was dubbed in French and watching it totally made my night. I totes recognized some of the drama and told them that I was very happy because it made me think of America. They don't call it 24, though...they call it "JACK BAUER!" And everytime you say "Jack Bauer" in French, it will make you crack up. Seriously, just try it. Now imagine 5 African kids all shouting it at once and you will understand my family's living room situation for the last hour. They asked if he was a real policeman in the United States...and I was like "no, he's not a real policeman. He's an actor!" and they thought that was pretty funny. It was super fun. It made up for the fact that Maman Rico was gone and Estelle made me dinner...which was a plate of lukewarm, soggy french fries with an overly fried egg plopped on top. I ate it all because i was starving, but damn. I have never wanted some ketchup so much in my entire life!

I had a zem driver try to give me shit today. At first he refused to take me home from Songhai for 200F, but then agreed to it when I told him I would find another zem, so I should have known he was finicky. Then as we got close to the school that is close to my house I told him to go to the end of the paved road, where it turns to sand and he was like "noo, you said the school, that will be 300F to go further" and I was like "whoa, buddy. I said near the school and I know the price. I always pay 200F for that same route." I made him pull over then about a block from my house and said "Fine, here is good. I will give you 200F since that's what you said at Songhai." And I gave him 200F, thanked him, and walked off. FUCK YEAH.

So I have discovered that the internet at the cafe close to my school, Gbezounkpa, is soooo much better than the internet at Songhai. they don't have wireless, but I can pay the same amount to use a desktop and then just plug my computer in instead. Heather totally was talking to her sister on skype there the other day, so I'm going to try to get on and post this on tomorrow after school and maybe even get to chat with my naughty puppy, colt...who was not online today when I was at songhai. Grr.

mais, c'est bon!
Love and miss you all,
Elaina

Photos and Videos from the fete!

Some bomb ass tissue prints of some kids during the flag raising.

The kids here really like getting their picture taken. These girls were hanging out at the mayor's house after the parade and eating some snacks they bought of of a maman's head.

This girl was almost lost in a sea of singing ladies during the parade, but I snapped this quick picture of her.

The internet is being pretty shady, but that seems to be typical here haha. These pictures are from the 50th independence day on the 1st of August. Enjoy!

I'm not sure if the video will work, but it's a few seconds of this guy who was encouraged to go out and dance to the drums and he went out there and kicked some ass.

This is a video of a women's group who rocked at the parade.