What I'll Miss About Benin (and what I definitely will not miss!)

I have just under 24 hours left in Benin and I've been thinking a lot about my time here over the last year and a half and what I've really come to love and those things that really drive me crazy. I don't know if I'll miss all these things right away or if it'll take months or even years for me to have a craving for something on the list, but who knows? Here it is, my two lists. Warning, it's pretty long.


Things I’ll miss about Benin:

-the sound of women pounding yams at dusk
-the five times per day call to prayer at the mosques around Djougou
-the sound of the rain on my tin roof while I’m laying in bed
-riding on the back of a zem at night with the cool air rushing by
-seeing and wearing colorful fabric and fun outfits everywhere
-women carrying baskets of whatever on their heads
-cute, free roaming, bratty Beninese kids (even though they annoy me, too!)
-adorable baby goats and chickens running around
-yam pilee…sooooo delicious
-wagasi…there are no words for how awesome and unique this food is
-a cold, refreshing beer after a crazy hot day, especially with other PCVs
-hanging out and venting with other volunteers
-the excitement of making American food and drinks with other volunteers
-watching movies at the Nati workstation
-ordering fries at the Nati workstation
-hanging out with my Beninese friends, just sitting or making small talk
-teaching sexual health and seeing the look of understanding in people’s eyes
-greeting strangers on the street
-French, especially Franglais, the combination of French and English
-random sayings like ‘bon assise, bon travail, bon douche.’ It’s just so friendly!
-constant sunshine and feeling like summer (although Chaleur sucks)
-Zaari and cuddling with her…omg, I can’t even think about her, too sad!
-sitting out in my back porch at night smoking a cigarette and looking up at the stars in total silence, feeling small and awed by the world and my place in it
-long runs in the African bush, the red dirt dusting my shoes
-mango season
-joking around with my work partners
-the camaraderie between volunteers and shared experience of living in Africa
-being the center of attention, someone always interesting and worth talking to
-inexpensive and simple living
-lizards running around like squirrels
-the colorful craziness of the market place
-the awesome tan lines on my feet from my Chacos
-the simple joy of eating a good meal and watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother
-the excitement of others when I speak Dendi, the local language
-not having to shave and just being a dirty hippie
-Harmattan, the windy season, and the fires late into the night, burning on the horizon
-the poignancy of the first, cooling rain of the season
-feeling like I’m making a difference in people’s lives, sometimes in unintended ways
-crazy, unexpected setbacks and the lessons learned (although it is very frustrating, too!)
-feeling like I’m part of something bigger than myself

Things I won’t miss about Benin:

-13 hour bus rides in the heat surrounded by BO and noisy chickens and babies
-constant sexual harassment
-extreme pollution and trash everywhere
-Chaleur, the hot season
-frequent power outages and water being cut
-screaming babies and children
-seeing kids get beat and generally abused
-seeing malnutrition and poverty related illness
-feeling ultimately useless in the big picture of development
-waking up hot and sweaty and gross
-always feeling dirty, never perfectly clean all over
-not being able to cool off or stop sweating after a run even hours after a cold shower
-having my privacy constantly invaded by neighbors and kids
-never being able to be anonymous or walk around without getting called out
-YOVO, YOVO, BONSOIR, CA VA BIEN, MERCI!
-getting called "yovo", "batoure", "anasara", "blanche", "blondie", or "mademoiselle"
-pretty much everything in Cotonou except for the good food and workstation internet
-the subtle pressure from some other volunteers to drink and party heavily
-feeling inadequate as a volunteer and aid worker
-boring and carb heavy food options
-constant sickness and diarrhea and constipation
-having to filter water and always be conscious of how safe the water is
-bleaching vegetables to have a fresh salad
-doing laundry by hand
-bugs and spiders and having to spray and kill them
-mosquitoes and weekly malaria prophylaxis
-constant boredom
-missing friends and family and feeling guilty for being so far away
-LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP and all the crappiness that goes with it
-getting physically grabbed at the market place
-the bureaucracy of the Peace Corps
-feeling stranded at post or frustrated with outside communication or internet
-casual cruelty to animals
-the informal attitude toward time and keeping appointments
-hearing creepy rustling sounds at night and freaking out about what it could be
-sunburns and worrying about getting skin cancer
-gross, always dirty and cracked feet
-fearing for my safety on crazy taxi rides
-being frustrated at the slow pace of life (although I’ve learned a lot, too!)
-having to discuter for prices
-feeling lonely and homesick
-being constantly asked for gifts and money and to be taken to America
-Nescafe. That stuff is nasty. I don’t care how desperate you are. Just say no.

Oh, Benin. It's been life changing and amazing and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But I am ready for a change! I'm not sure if I'll be back on this blog except to post my DOS, but if you'd like, you can keep following my life journey, here at my medical school blog on wordpress.

Keep on rocking!

Elaina

I'll be home for Christmas

Well, it's official! I am leaving the Peace Corps a few months early to go home, help my family out, and make some money before medical school. The decision was definitely a tough one and one I analyzed for a long time before calling the Peace Corps to set it up, but ultimately it's the best thing for me and my family right now. Essentially it came down to the fact that I was going to have to ET anyway, probably in April, and why should I wait around for five months, get back into a routine, and be frustrated and miserable when I could make it home for the holidays? The Peace Corps does not make it difficult to early terminate and once it comes down to a need to ET for grad school, a few extra months seem superfluous in the long run. Sure, I feel a little guilty about leaving my projects and work partners behind (and I am close to traumatized about leaving Zaari), but everyone has been very understanding, especially of the fact that in reality, it's only a few months earlier than expected.

The next couple weeks will be spend filling out pages and pages of forms, figuring out packing and getting Zaari to her new home. She will be going to the home of a PC homologue who has many kids who love animals. I will be able to get updates on her through my Djougou post-mate and in the end, staying here is what is best for her (even if it makes me cry at night haha).

The last year and a half has been completely life altering and amazing and I wouldn't trade it for anything. It had its ups and downs, but doesn't life? Overall, I was happy and feel like I've both done some amazing work here and made many lasting friendships (cue cheesy music now). I'll miss a lot of people, but I would have been saying good-bye in a few months anyway, so I guess it's just ripping off the bandaid early.

All that sad stuff said, I am so incredibly excited to be going home! I'm looking for jobs in tutoring, being a nanny or long-term babysitter, or working as a receptionist at a medical office. I've already applied to over 20 jobs and hopefully I'll start to hear back soon. Apparently moving is sort of expensive...as is getting married and starting a household...(who knew? haha) so I'll be trying to save up as much as possible in the next few months before the wedding and med school.

I also just want to say that there have many times when I've wanted to leave, usually for very emotional reasons not backed by real logical ones. I've missed America and my family and Colt, but I've held out because I'm strong and determined and have never been someone to quit something just because it was hard. While ETing now does indeed solve some of those feelings (completely normal feelings that almost every PCV deals with on occasion), me leaving now is not due to emotional reasons. Right now it's about logic and finances and being a part of my family. Once I reached this point of clarity in thinking about my options, it actually wasn't that stressful of a decision. Ultimately, I'm not upset or struggling with the choice because I've put in enough time for me, personally, to feel accomplished and satisfied with my work and life here. Before I was always worried about regretting the choice later in life, which was a major deterrent to leaving. But now, at this point, with only a few months left, I know that I will have no regrets, only good memories! It helps that everyone I've talked to is supportive and in no way do I feel like a quitter. I loved it here and feel like I'm ending things on a good note at a good time for me.

Benin, it's been real. Stay classy,

Elaina

PS. I'll probably be back on to give a few ET updates for interested people and I may update again once I'm permanently back in the states. I can't believe this blog is ending! It's been such a big thing in my life for a long time now and it's going to be weird. I'll link my new, med school blog here and again in my final post. Yay, for turning the page!

Gluten Free, Camp Success, and the 4th of July: ONE YEAR IN (with photos)

Yeah, that title is ridiculous...but very descriptive of this entry!

First thing's first. I am decidedly gluten sensitive. I have experimented quite a bit with eliminating gluten products from my diet and found that all the symptoms I'd always thought were singularly lactose intolerance are linked with gluten intolerance as well. It's mild, but causes me a lot of discomfort. In the last month or two I've reduced and almost eliminated all gluten from my diet; those moments when I slip have been very noticeable. All in all, this is not that difficult to do here and basically just means I no longer eat bread, pasta or couscous. I still get plenty of yams, rice, potatoes, beans, and oats. People with Celiac Disease or high sensitivity to gluten should probably avoid oats, but I've never had trouble with them. Basically I'm going gluten free, or as close to it as I can. I just feel better all around. To celebrate, I made amazing, easy gluten-free peanut butter cookies in my dutch oven:

AHH, they were amazing and I couldn't even tell they were made without flour. One awesome thing about going gluten free here is the easy abundance of soy products. I can get tofu and awesome soy flour that basically can serve as a wheat flour substitute. These cookies have egg in them and I'm trying to be a good vegan, but that is definitely tricky here. In America, I'm going full out vegan, but for now, I'm just avoiding dairy, cheese, eggs and transitioning a bit. 

Going vegan for me is just going to be a great way to feel more connected to the Earth, to my particular brand of spirituality and philosophy, and to be healthy in a way that ecologically and economically impacts our planet and the animals in it. I don't know if I'll be vegan forever, but I think this time I'm really serious about it. When I get back to America for good next year I'll be scoping out those cheese substitutes hardcore!

Switching gears, we just finished up with Camp Sucess up here in Djougou. We had 60 girls from all over the Donga region and we spent the week talking about empowerment, sexual health, healthy relationships, self-esteem, staying in school and not getting pregnant. 

It was great to see the girls making plans and becoming friends. I spent a lot of the week doing general help, running all over Djougou getting supplies and making sure everything ran smoothly. I also had my fair share of time with the girls and really enjoyed getting my hair done and dancing late into the night!

 My session was the sexual health one and I had a local midwife nurse from the health center come and talk to the girls about what sex is and how pregnancy happens...and how to avoid it! It went really well and I know they learned so much.

 I laughed more and was impacted more as a volunteer in Africa than I have been up to now. Camp was hands down the best and most moving experience of my time in Africa so far. 

doesn't Jared look adorable?

Anyway, immediately after camp let out, many volunteers met up in Djougou for the fourth of July celebratory weekend. The weekend included a huge soccer match against the Germans, an American football match (I scored a touchdown!), lots of beer, freestyle rapping, and an awesome rainbow.

Team America and Team Germany all together in harmony after the big USA win (1-0, my postie, Doug, scored the winning goal!)

This is a tiny sack filled with honey flavored sodabe, African moonshine. 

Doug eating a victory meal of pate blanche, sauce des legumes, and a cold beer

This rainbow circled the sun during the afternoon of the American football match

Post BBQ and post busting out some 4th of July themed rap fireworks.

I can't believe I've been here a year (well, in about a week). The new stage has arrived already and are all cozied up in their host families' houses. I've scheduled my mid-service medical exam for September, and am at the point where I can plan out my work for the rest of the year. I'm not really sure what I'll be doing after January, but until that point I actually have a lot going on!

Time has flown by a lot faster than I would have thought. And everyone says the next year goes by even faster. We've got some more ETs coming up, two people that I know of. That puts our total at fourteen people out of our original 59. At this point they said that it would be 20%. I didn't believe it then, but here we are, one year later. A year ago the idea of ETing was just terrifying, something that only people who couldn't cut it did...now, I see that each instance is very specific, very unique to that person. It isn't always a clear cut "oh, Africa/Peace Corps wasn't right for them" or even that it wasn't right for them "right now." Sometimes it just is right for a certain amount of time and then it's not anymore...things change, especially work situations. I can understand that. Who knows what the future will bring for the rest of us? A year is a long time...even if it passes by quickly!

Here's to us! We did it!

the toughest job you'll ever love

(otherwise known as the 'easiest job you'll ever hate' but that's for a different entry)

On children and empty bellies

I live in a bigger village here in Benin, where access to healthcare is more visible and the people are slightly more proactive about their health. It's easy to overlook malnutrition here unless I am in the health center when mothers have brought in their children from up to fifteen kilometers away. Most of the kids I see in Djougou look relatively healthy. Sure, they're barefoot and often very thin, but they eat something each day and go to school for the most part. So I naturally assumed that malnutrition isn't really much of an issue up here. Not true.

A few weeks ago I went on an epic walk around the city with my friend Affissa, a high school senior and running enthusiast who has become my closest friend in village. On one of the rare days when she wasn't studying like mad for the bacc (necessary to pass high school and go on to college...she's one of the few girls in my town to even be in this position), she invited me to walk with her and a friend out by the lake in the south. We rode her moto to her friend's house and I stored my helmet in their living room. While they were off greeting the family and chatting about the insignificant things that make up so much of life here, I started playing a bit with some of the concession kids.

At first I didn't notice what was different about "Malik", the smallest boy. I thought he was just younger maybe than the others until they got a little closer to me, a little braver. Then I noticed his reddened hair, skeleton like arms, and how his head seemed too big for his body. I recognized marasmus malnutrition immediately, the type of malnutrition where the child literally is starving from lack of sufficient calories. He was playing just a little less actively than the other boys, kicking the soccer ball with less vigor, but still smiling, still laughing and taunting me with "batouré, batouré!" like the others. He came up to me, giggling, and I touched his shoulder, smiling with him. His skin was hot to the touch, feverish.  He ran off with the others when Affissa and the other adults walked over.

As we were leaving the concession I asked Affissa if Malik was okay. I told her that he had a fever and needed to be resting. She explained that he was often sick with diarrhea and the other boys didn't have the problem as often. She attributed his illness to 'gris-gris' a type of sorcery more common to the voodoo south, but I could tell she thought that was simplistic. I told her that he should drink lots of clean water and eat enough and she assured me that he was getting a lot better, that he didn't used to play. She encouraged me to forget about it and she was right. There really wasn't anything I could do beyond simply making sure that the family knew what to do. During our walk I mentioned making an oral rehydration drink and Affissa's friend said that the family was doing that already. I felt a little better, but I was just sort of shocked that malnutrition like that was just a casual part of life for these families.

It's true though. Mothers will often wait months before naming their children for fear that they will fall to illness. They have many children, usually a result of not having or believing in birth control, but also because the more children you bear, the more you'll have when some of them die. Children are not treated well in Benin in general. There is an emotional separation between parents and their kids. Beatings are completely acceptable and very common which is hard to hear or watch as an outsider. Children work hard manual labor for their families, especially the girls. Parents love their children here, of course, but it's a different kind of love then we see in the states. They never know when Allah, or sorcery, gris-gris, will take their children from them, and this makes them just a little more expendable. That's the way they were treated as children and they perpetuate it each new generation.  It's a very different way of life and one that is not compatible with Westerners or myself, someone passionate about children's health and the health of those who are disempowered. But all I can really do is give my perspective and try to learn from theirs to make a small difference.

Affissa came over to my house a few days ago in the evening. We sat out on my porch under the mango tree and sipped glasses of water as the sun set. I mentioned Malik and asked how he was doing. She explained casually that he had gotten sick again and would probably die. I asked how his mother would feel if that happened, trying to keep the tears out of my voice. She just shrugged and said that his mother has five other children to help her. Seeing the look of surprise on my face, she quickly added that she would still be sad. A few moments passed and then she changed the subject, not because his illness was a difficult topic, but because to her it was such a simple one.

R & R

I came to Nati yesterday to think very hard about my plans for the next year and a half and get some laundry done. I hung out with a couple cool cats and we had dinner and watched movies. I've been sick so it was nice to just chill out a bit and use the internet. I spent way too much time doing wedding planning stuff and just thinking about life and priorities and making difficult decisions. No one can please everyone all the time.

But, I am headed back to Djougou today after I go to the bank and do the dishes from yesterday. This weekend I am getting my hair done with the braids and the weave; I'm super excited about it!

Well, that's all for now I suppose. The family planning week didn't happen, but I'm still hoping to get more involved with the nutrition stuff with H, the Japanese volunteer in Djougou who works at the health center on Fridays. Last Friday we talked to sixty women about the importance of only feeding their babies breast milk for the first six months. Then we filled out health cards and they all got vaccinated for several different ailments as well as weighed. The health center is very efficient and I was pretty impressed at how unnecessary I was; in fact I was more in the way than anything! That seems to be happening a lot lately.

Elaina

Happy New Year!

January 09, 2011
8:42pm

I have finally gotten back to my place after what has been a month of travels and holidays. Colt has been and gone, we’ve rung in the new year, my three month integration period is officially over, and in less than a week, my stage will have been in country for half a year. Before I delve too much into that whole passage of time thing, I thought I’d let everyone know that this Friday, the 14th, 20/20 is supposed to be airing the special on Kate Puzey’s death. Please tune in and someone send me a copy!

Colt was here for almost 15 days and it feels like we built a little life for us here during his time. Christmas morning was a blur of travel to Djougou and we basically showered and crashed into bed for several hours. I think he had been traveling for like 40 hours or something by that point. We woke up on the 26th and did our Christmas morning then. We took lots of ridiculously adorable photos and made dinner…tacos! Then we basically spent the rest of the week eating local food and watching an insane amount of 30 Rock and Inception (I almost convinced him to let me watch it a third time, but he convinced me to watch some Californication instead). We enjoyed each other’s company and fell into a lovely sort of routine that involved meeting up with some of my friends here, eating too much, and seeing my village. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. New Years’ was rung in with card games, cake, and champagne. Colt read Ender’s Game while I continued to gavage myself with 30 Rock and we started to get a little sick of each other. I think the constant cold showers started to get to him…no hot water and it is damn cold in the mornings here during Harmattan. We smoked some hookah on my roof the last day we were in Djougou and got yam pilee once more with cold cokes and then watched Pineapple Express and giggled like dorks while we cuddled. Ahhh. Then we stayed two nights in Cotonou where we just ate out at all the nice places I can never afford (Chinese, Thai, Lebanese, etc) and his last day we spent at the workstation while I was sick and throwing up for several hours (good timing!). He held me, though, and although we ended up not getting to go out to Indian food that night like we’d planned, it was nice to just spend those last hours alone and close. I did feel sort of guilty though…but I guess I shouldn’t have tried to be so macho and drink the shower water. That’s what I get haha. His flight left on the 7th late at night and he has safely arrived back home and had Christmas with his family. I sent a bunch of random African gifts for him to disperse to various people, just little trinkets and stuff, nothing fancy (I am so broke right now!). It was a wonderful visit, we took lots of pictures and videos, and hopefully the next 8 months and 3 weeks will pass by without hardly any notice at all! Yeah, we’ll see about that. =(

Hmm, let’s see…what else? Big projects are starting to get going now that I’m allowed to really jump into work…several girls and boys camp meetings are going on this month and I am going to get back into going to the health center regularly in addition to my time at the office. I need to get some scrubs made for the maternity so I can help with births, but until then I am going to help out a midwife nurse when she inserts IUDs and Norplant birth control. The Peace Corps has restructured some of its goals so that now what was my primary project (sexual health and family planning) is now technically a secondary project…so I also need to try to get more involved with the maternal health side and do more prenatal consultations and stuff with the midwives. In a really bullshit red tape move, the Peace Corps noticed that volunteers weren’t meeting family planning goals, so instead of giving us more training or directive, they just decided to abolish that program as a major source of focus, thereby making the stats look better, but not fixing the underlying issue. That’s just one example in a growing list of examples about Peace Corps administrative bureaucracy that seriously hinders volunteers’ ability to effectively work abroad. Sigh. Onto more pleasant things…

Er…yeah, I got nothing. Oh! Next month I’m going to Pendjari, the national park, with Andrew and Krista, Eric, and a couple other people. I had originally planned on going with Colt when he was here…but well, that didn’t work out. So too bad for him, I guess I’ll just send him a picture of the awesome lions I’ll see!

It’s hard to believe I’ve been here for 6 months already. Time has really flown by it seems and yet it feels like I’ve been here for soooo long. For some reason I can feel like I just boarded the plane from Kansas City a couple weeks ago and also feel like I’ve been here for years simultaneously. I guess it was the same thing in college; day to day felt insanely drawn out, but by the time I graduated, I felt like I’d just blinked and it was over. I do wish I would have savored my time at Wellesley a little more, but I think I did okay. Similarly, I think I’ll do fine here in my looking toward the future and yet relishing my moments in the present. I suppose there will a time when I look back on my service and wish that I would have just been more involved in the day to day small things and knowing that keeps me a little more grounded even though I just want it to be a year from now so badly. The time will come, though, and probably sooner than I think I’ll be saying goodbye.

And when I do…I’ll be a vegetarian again. Because right now…well, I’m not. Not exactly. I’ve decided to be an Afri-tarian. I only eat meat while I’m here in Africa. I’m just so protein deficient especially if I want to avoid palm oil fried wagasi. I’m also basically a vegetarian for economic reasons stemming from the commercial meat industry in the United States, which clearly does not exist here. So I’m eating fish and poultry which I haven’t eaten since 2004. The chickens here are all free range and crustaceans are basically just big bugs anyway. I’m actually sort of grabbing onto meat eating with gusto. I was calling myself a ‘meatatarian’ for a while, especially while gnawing the bones of a particularly tasty guinea fowl when colt was here. I’m planning on enjoying it while I can and reverting back when I finish up here, although there is something to be said about spending my money on free range meat in the United States as it adds an even more forceful economic incentive for companies to use humane treatment of their livestock. I’m not sure, we’ll see.

Moving on…Medical school packets for the advisory committee are due in a couple weeks so I need to really get cracking on that. Hopefully that will keep me busy enough to not count down the days until I see Colt again. I need to have an awesome application so I can go home to interview!

And speaking of that, I wanted to publicly declare that Colt and I are clenched into a competitive battle to lose weight. Whoever reaches their goal weight first gets to decide the number of children we’ll have in the future. This is not a decision he will get to make. Thus I must win. So please, no one send me pasta or sugar. If it’s in my house I’ll eat it, but if it’s not, then I will be the champion. Send Colt, however, lots and lots of goodies. I’ll update my wish list to include canned or packaged tuna and mints instead of chocolate and velveeta cheese…as much as that pains me.

I guess that’s it for now…things should start to get back to a semblance of routine, or at least as routine as is possible in Benin. For example, tomorrow is a voodoo national holiday and I don’t have to go in to work. Hello, Lord of the Rings marathon! My life is sort of awesome, yeah?

See ya when I see ya,

Elaina

Birthday and more

Tuesday, September 21st

Well I made it safe and sound to Djougou and am now typing this entry in my guest bedroom of my lovely pink abode. The master bedroom is not yet ready as I still have to purchase a grand mattress to fit my new grand bed frame. I’m really excited because the double bed mosquito net is BLUE!

I don’t have a lot of computer battery left and I’m nervous about charging my computer before I actually get a surge protector. The electricity here has been pretty spotty and cuts in and out at random. The water seems pretty regular, though, which is lovely when it’s hot as hell and I can just go hop in my awesome tiled shower out back.

Ok, I plugged in the computer…hopefully nothing crazy happens. I’m getting a protector as soon as Doug gets back to town and can help me discuter the price: I have no idea how expensive those things are.

Bad news first: the two fans that were left here do not work and so it is really freaking hot and I need to buy a fan tomorrow. Also bad news…I am sick again! Nothing crazy this time, just a fever and some aches and pains with general fatigue. I’m probably just dehydrated because my water filter broke and I’ve been boiling my water…but it doesn’t cool down for several hours and I’m lazy! But the fever is controllable with ibuprofen and I just finished watching DIE HARD so all is good in the world. And Peace Corps is sending me a new filter on the shuttle next week.

My birthday was surprisingly pleasant. I tried to cook for myself…ended up with a complete shit show of a cake…charred sugary mess…that I did indeed eat a bit of after I sung happy birthday to myself and blew out a candle that I bought for way too much money at Erevan. I spent the day rearranging my house and sweeping and making plans for my next menusier trip. I already ordered screen doors because damn, it’s hot and I want some natural light up in here! My guacamole was actually pretty damn good and today I made couscous, the dish so good they named it twice! I also did orange juice which was a wonderful decision especially with some lime squeezed in there, too. I talked to a lot of people who wished me a happy 23rd and the idea that I am closer to 30 than 13 is just starting to take form…along with the tiny wrinkle I totally have between my eyebrows. It was so nice to talk to everyone that called (Mom, Dad, Jeni, Alex, Mommoo, Colt (and Sydney, too: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LADY) , as well as a bunch of other volunteers who graciously used their credit to call and/or text); THANK YOU all so much; you really made what could have been a really sad and lonely day an awesome, fun one!

I opened my only present that had arrived…my kickass awesome pathology textbook from dad. I’ve just about finished the chapter on neoplasia and I tell ya, I don’t think there are many things that get me so excited as do recurring translocations of certain chromatin protein genes. Thanks dad, best gift ever. As to all you other known gift senders, thank you in advance! I’m sure I’ll get ‘em before October is out!

So some pretty sweet news: I have internet in my house (on occasion)! The wifi from my work seeps over into my living room sometimes and I can actually get two of five bars of reception! At first I thought I’d have to wait to get connected because I needed the security key…but I played around with the passwords and actually ended up guessing the right one! I felt like a kick ass computer hacker, haha. Unfortunately the internet is not actually working right now…but I am connected to it at least. Oh, Africa. I think it might just be too late right now and the internet is off once people at the NGO leave work. I’ll try again in the morning, but I am super stoked right now! Even if it ends up not working for whatever reason, I will always remember how awesome I feel right now! Lol

The trip to Djougou was pretty eventful, so I guess I can recount a bit of that. We were supposed to leave Porto Novo at 6 in the morning, me and my closemate, Magda. Well, the taxi didn’t actually pick me up until 8 and than about five minutes after leaving my house, the car broke down. The driver fixed it about half an hour later and Magda and I just talked and waved at all the kids shouting ‘yovo’ at us as they walked by. Well, we made it around the block before the next breakdown happened. This time we ended up waiting for about an hour and a half before a Peace Corps official guy just happened to be driving by and saw us by the side of the road. He stopped and helped us figure out what to do and wished us “du courage.” An old random guy came up to the window and asked us to give him cent franc and I said “you give ME cent franc!” and he just laughed and stood there awkwardly for like five more minutes while Magda and I ignored him.

We made it out of Porto Novo by a little after 11, but then got stuck at the toll booth. Our driver explained that the guy at the window wanted extra money because of our bikes, which are very nice, expensive yovo bikes. Magda and I were like HELL NO, we don’t do bribes…we don’t want to encourage corruption in this society! We have principles! So we waited in the now very present sun by the tollbooth and wondered how long we’d hold out. We ended up calling the same PC guy from before and he arrived about twenty minutes later in a hitchhiked car. He jumped out and the car kept on going toward Cotonou. He explained to us that our brilliant driver had forgotten the very normal and very legal fee for having luggage that was as tall as ours was piled up on top of the car. So no clichéd bribery attempts here, just plain old fashioned dumbass-ery. Now, that’s real Africa for ya.

The trip from then on out was relatively uneventful…except the breakdown in Bohicon and our driver’s random stop in a small village to purchase what we could only assume was a Beninoise…leaving it ambiguous as to whether or not that was the beer or the tanti. Interestingly, they just happen to be the same price…oooh, snap! Nothing like prostitute jokes on a hot African night!

So backup a little bit to swear in. We were at the ambassador’s house Friday morning and damn, it is nice, that is definitely what I want to be when I grow up. We listened to speeches in French and English, Fon, Bariba, and like two other random local languages that I don’t remember. Then we swore in as official volunteers (there was even a ’I will defend the constitution of the United States of America’ and a ‘so help me God’ in there; I felt like I was taking the Oath of Office). We then went to Erevan, spent way too much money on things we didn’t need (holy shit, that place was like a super Walmart…with vrai prices and some stuff that is actually nicer than Wally World…but I could be making that up, months without the conglomerate convenience could be shaping my perceptions). Then we headed back to PN for our night of debauchery, of which my legs are still store four days later. I got waaay too low on the dance floor and just a little bit drunk, but I don’t regret it, it was damn fun. I slept on the floor in Andrew and Krista’s hotel room and after some ibuprofen in the morning made it back to my host family’s house for packing. That afternoon I met some friends at Java Promo, the nicest and most expensive restaurant in Porto Novo (it’s actually sort of indoors or at least under a big awning) with the best food (mashed potatoes and a vrai salad!). I ended up staying there for 7 hours. Yes, 7 hours. Why you might ask? Well, around 2pm it began to rain and a few minutes after that it was raining harder than I thought it was possible for it to rain and it continued that pattern all afternoon. This intense rain of course keeps people from going out and about…which means there are no zems out either…which means I was stranded. For 7 hours! I actually ventured out at one point, just before ordering my second plate of mashed potatoes and gravy, but only made it about 5 minutes before I was soaked through and still zem-less. I cried a little and laughed a little, the tears just joining the rain. I am 98% sure I looked like a crazy person. So I returned to Java Promo, got a beer, and ate some more for a few more hours. It was actually pretty fun in a glass half-full sort of way. Just one of those completely unavoidable, uncontrollable situations that constantly happen here.

It really doesn’t do any good to be stressed out about stuff like that or to get angry. I’m shocked to say it, but I am already so much more patient than I ever was in the states. A lot of us just repeat to ourselves when shit starts going wrong (like the car breaking down in the middle of the bush, while it’s dark…and raining…and the windows don’t roll up on your taxi that you’ve been riding in for 14 hours on a trip that is supposed to take 7)…we just repeat “be like a boat…be like a boat.” What does a boat do? It goes with the flow…and that is really all you can do here in moments of desperation. It’s all very zen. And they said that only the Peace Corps volunteers from China come home spiritual! (The saying goes that PCVs in Africa come home alcoholics, haha.)

So far the only real downside to my house is the just insane numbers of cockroaches. Unlike at my host family’s, the cockroaches here do not just stay in the bathroom…they pretty much wander around everywhere…and I am horrified to say it, they are actually bigger than the ones in Porto Novo. Like- where is the nuclear reactor?-big. But I’ve gotten strangely okay with the weird flat spiders that my host sister so memorably killed for me. They are ubiquitous here…and they eat a lot of the other annoying bugs, so I’m sort of just letting them be as long as they are on the walls and out of the way. I’ve only seen like three, so it’s not like my house is a spider haven or anything. I swept the place today and I think I’m going to be like the Beninese and do so every day…or at least every other day or so. I think that’s the best way to prevent bugs and other critters from taking up residence with me.

As for my other neighbors, the human ones, I have two other connected houses in my concession and I’ve saluated a bit with some of the voisines (neighbors), but I think it’s just a bunch of men! I haven’t seen any women or kids in the concession, but maybe they’re just dutiful wives cooking all day. The house next to mine totally has a huge satellite dish and I’m pretty sure a baby mango spider (those are the rodent sized adults) is creating a web there. As long as it stays the fuck away from my house I do not care.

Well, Imorou is out of town until Saturday so I don’t think I’ll be going into work until next week…which is totally fine with me. I would like to get a little more settled and comfortable just walking around town before I have to worry about starting specific projects. Technically the first three months are supposed to be tame work wise, just getting to know the ONG and meeting work partners and going out with the sensibilization team to watch. It seems weird I guess, but I have absolutely no idea what I’ll actually be doing for the next two years. And even weirder is that the ambiguity doesn’t really bother me. I want to be here right now and as long as I can have regular phone sex, think I’ll be just fine.

E

PS. I’m not really sure who reads this thing…but I hope the occasional f-bomb and mentions of such activities as phone sex do not dissuade any readers. Someone please let me know if anyone under the age of 12 is reading and I’ll at least consider taking the sailor talk down a notch. kthxbai!


Wednesday, September 22nd

Well, I might have been a little hasty with the assumption of internet. Today the signal only came through for about an hour and even when it came through, it wasn’t actually working. Hopefully next week when I go into work I can get it figured out better. I would really like to get online! I’m way to lazy to go find a cyber right now.

Actually, I think I’m not lazy, but sick! I have been just feeling generally yucky now for over 24 hours. The fever went away, but then came back this evening, but not as high. It was only ever 100.4 anyway, which isn’t anything but a lowgrade fever anyway and the doctors wouldn’t do anything about it unless it lasts for like 4 days. I don’t really have any other symptoms besides ache-y fatigue that so often accompanies fever. I’m drinking enough now, so I’m not dehydrated beyond anything that’s normal. Oh well, ibuprofen helps. If it lasts through Friday I suppose I’ll call the PCMO.

Apparently one of my good friends here has to find a new post! Her homologue lied about having a house for her and now she has to stay with other volunteers until they find a new place for her to live. It’s crazy! Oh, Peace Corps.

Well, I vaguely have to pee, so I think I’m going to venture out into the darkness that is my backyard and try to avoid all the critters that come out at night. I don’t know why I can’t remember to pee before it gets dark!

E


Saturday, September 25th

Yeah, so the internet thing is definitely not going to work. It’s really frustrating because there is a tiny signal that comes through during the work day, but for some reason it has not actually been working. So I might need to get my own internet after all.

And speaking of internet, as soon as my computer charges up a bit more (yeah, I’ve clearly just been risking the electricity, although I AM going to buy a surge protector soon!), I am headed off to a cyber. I don’t really know where I’ll go, but I’m planning on just asking a zem driver to take me to one…who knows where I’ll end up?

I have been basically bored out of my mind for the last week. I’ve watched all the Die Hards, the Bourne Identities, Supremacies, and Ultimatums, finished 5 seasons of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and gotten a quarter of the way through Alias season 1 before I decided that I didn’t really want to use up all of that entertainment before October. So I moved on to other things.

I have written a large majority of my personal statement for medical school. I can’t write all of it yet, though, because I still need to actually DO some health volunteer work before I can actually get those thoughts down. OMG I AM SO BORED

I’ve went to the marche a few times just to buy some random things like tomatoes and onions and bread. I went native yesterday and fried up some wagasi, but now I have like three quarters of a wheel left and I don’t really know how long it is safe to keep…and I am not really in the mood to eat wagasi like 3 days in a row. Plus, I splattered oil all over my kitchen and that stuff is really freaking annoying to clean up.

Tomorrow I’m doing laundry and washing all my dishes and sweeping again. The bug that is living on the cot in the spare bedroom must be invisible because I’ve moved all the stuff around and cannot find it, but I can still hear it at night, moving around. See what I mean? I totally have cabin fever. I need to go to work!

I have my big bed all ready to go, but still need to buy a mattress.

There is some species of giant wasp that has decided to make a nest in my little toilette room. So far I’ve been lucky and have not angered it with my peeing, but I seriously cannot be afraid of my toilette room. That is something that I really just cannot deal with. But there is no way in hell I am going to try to kill the wasp. No way in hell. I wonder how good at killing insects my neighbors are…perhaps I might need to make their acquaintance soon. Or maybe I’ll ask Doug to spray it with insecticide because, like I mentioned earlier, there is NO WAY IN HELL I am going to be doing that. No, thanks.

I really miss vache qui rit that my host family gave me and I think I am going to go cherche for some of that today. After I find a cyber and post this ridiculous blog entry.

Oh, and I realized that I don’t have any sheets for a double bed anyway. Aaaargh! It’s going to be November before I actually move into the freaking master bedroom!

What exactly am I doing here, again??!

E

Facilitating Behavior Changes (Post Visit Part Deux)

Sunday, September 12th, 2010.

Ok, well it turns out that there’s not really going to be a part deux to my Djougou post visit adventure. Pretty much everyone who needs to know has already heard the details, but I guess I’ll recount them anyway…but it’s not going to be some stylistic masterpiece or anything.

The night after I had my suspiciously delicious dinner with Doug, I woke up with stomach pain and all the associated fixings. The nausea and vomiting, however, were a bit out of the ordinary. The main discomfort came from the fact that after I puked, the nausea would still be very much present, which is usually not the case. You know what I mean; after throwing up, a sense of calm and health returns at least temporarily, even when really sick, until the next bought of nausea and subsequent vomiting occurs. This was just different; I’d puke and instantly feel nauseous again. This lasted until about 7 in the morning when I called the Peace Corps doctor and we chatted for a bit about getting me re-hydrated with ORS (Oral Re-hydrations Solution). Doug brought some over, but the taste was so gross that I just puked it up. So, it was determined after I started feeling dizzy from dehydration that I should probably get some IV fluids in me and stop the nausea. So I rode a zem to the hospital and talked to the doctor there. Doug translated and the doctor spoke a little English, so it really was no big deal. As usual, I was an awful patient, asking way too many questions and being demanding about who performed what procedures on me, etc. It was fine and the doctor stayed with me until all the saline, anti-nausea medication, and the antibiotics and anti-parasite meds had all gone into my veins. The hospital drove me back to where I was staying and I felt a lot better. The next day I just hung out in Djougou, reading and writing and the day after that I took the bus back to Cotonou. I stayed at the Bureau for a day and got checked out by the doctor; they took stool and blood samples and I’ve just been taking it easy since then. All they found was a high white blood cell count because all the killin’ meds got all the bugs by the time they checked. Right now, I feel back to normal. Taking all those meds actually probably killed off whatever I already had that had been making me generally ill for the last few weeks. I don’t think I’ve been this healthy the entire time I’ve been in this country. Honestly, we should all just do a round of ciprofloxin every 2 months or so to clean us out (ok, probably not…we wouldn’t want those fuckers to get resistant now would we?). But yeah, it was pretty trippy and I was definitely damn sick, but all is well that ends well, someone wiser than me once said.

I just spent the last hour with my host bro, Rico, writing and translating a letter for my vrai little brother, Zach. Maman wants them to be like best friends so when Rico comes to the US they can be buddies. Rico is pretty ambitious for his age; he wants to be an architect in the USA. I guess he has a better shot than a girl would, but I’m not exactly seeing it. It is possible, though, but he would really have to study hard and do everything right, which only like 10% of the people in this country actually do. Seriously, for example, like 20 out of 200 high school students in Lalo actually passed the baccelaureate to graduate high school and go to college. But it might be nice to do the penpal thing…except Zach will totally not understand anything Rico writes without translation…so it might just be a one time thing…although Rico can understand a little English probably, I don’t really see it evolving too far unless Zach wants to learn French haha.

On Wednesday I am cooking an American meal for the family. I’m going to do pancakes, scrambled eggs, and hash browns. There isn’t syrup, so I’m doing peanut butter and honey instead for on top. There will be tomatoes, onions, pimante, and wagasi in the scrambled eggs and the hash browns will be epic as well. I hope they like it, but they probably won’t. But I think pate is pretty nasty, so I guess we can debate our national dishes anytime. I’m pretty sure pancakes will win every time. Probably because America is the greatest country in the world. Just sayin’.

Tomorrow we find out the results of our last French interview. I did absolutely horribly in my interview, absolutely worse than the second interview, so I don’t really foresee any great results tomorrow. In fact, I’m a little concerned that I epically failed. Like, not even joking, I might not get to swear in. If that becomes the case, and I suppose I’ll reach that bridge when I come to it, I’m going to fight to be allowed to swear in anyway. I know I can survive with my level of French and I’ll get a tutor and test again in a few weeks. But maybe I did okay. But…I really bombed it. So. Yeah.

Well, swear in may or may not be on Friday. We are partying it up afterward at a hotel in Porto Novo and the next day purchasing a lot of stuff and packing up to move to our permanent posts. I’ll probably be leaving on Sunday, the 19th, taking a taxi with my bike, mattress, water filter, lockbox, and all my books and luggage and other random crap I’ve accumulated here with me. The next day is my birthday and I will be cleaning my house and settling in. I will also be cooking a Mexican fiesta and hopefully my buddy Josh from Boukoumbe will be coming down to have a few beers and help me celebrate a bit.

I’m actually not sure when the next time I’ll be online will be. I’m pretty sure there is internet at my office and I can bring my laptop and plug in…but I really really do not want to start working until I’ve at least gotten my big bed. The idea of having to go into work at like 8am immediately after getting to post sort of freaks me out; I need a few days to just unwind and get my bearings. I need to make sure the house is clean and devoid of rodent sized spiders and I’d like to make it feel a bit like a home if I can. It IS pink, which helps tremendously, so there’s that. But I will bring my laptop to work sometime next week and give a quick update. If I’m freakishly lucky, the wifi from the office will seep into my house, but I rather doubt it. But I am like practically connected to the office. My house is literally in the backyard of PSI. If I could get internet in my house I would be ecstatic.

Speaking of mild altering states, I just read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and my mind was totally blown. I never got through it as a kid and whoa, I had no idea what the book was about. Totally wild and got me thinking about the duality of nature and what the real differences are between science and art. It definitely made me appreciate my dad a lot more. And speaking of my dad…

HE BOUGHT THE TICKETS!!! Colt’s ticket to come and visit me has been officially purchased! He is leaving the US of A on the 17th of December and after a long layover in Casablanca, he’ll be arriving in Cotonou early in the morning of the 19th. I’ll pick him up via taxi and we’ll go back to my hotel room until 8am when we’ll take the bus to Djougou. We’ll stay at my place through Christmas and then go up to Pendjari, the national park, to have us an African safari. I think we’ll probably stay one or two nights there and then come back to my house for the New Year. On the 4th we’ll head back to Cotonou and he leaves the next day. He’ll be here for 17 days and I am SO HAPPY! We have 97 days until then, but I’m just glad it’s double and not triple digits. The longest we’ve had a countdown for was like 120 days, so we’re golden. Although if you add the 61 days that I’ve already been here…that’s like 158 days or something, but whatever. December 18th I’ll leave Djougou and come down to Cotonou for the night. Ahhhh, I’m so happy!

I’ve watched like a million episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and now I’m just like yelling at everyone…which is awkward because my French is so completely awful. I’ve also watched Law Abiding Citizen (great premise, lame ending), Blood Diamond, the Constant Gardener, and my personal absolutely favorite, Avatar. I love that movie, I wish I could live on Pandora and/or be an awesome, in-tune-with-nature huntress. I would totally eat meat if I had stalked and captured my prey. I think if you are willing to eat meat, you should be willing to take the animal’s life. If you can’t do it, don’t eat it. I’m like this weird vegetarian who totally wants to be badass and hunt and be one with nature in this spiritual symbiosis, but the idea of eating meat sort of squicks me out, unlike the meat eaters for whom the killing is distasteful. You pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down? Anyway, I like movies and I wish I had a whole lot more of them. Mostly, I want Twilight and Eclipse and New Moon if it’s out. Because just the other day I was thinking about how much I loved watching Bella and Edward’s crazy crazy love tension on screen and realized that I had gotten all my movies from a dude. So I have a lot of Die Hard and not a lot of Twilight. Which is fine most of the time, but I can only watch something like the Hangover so many times.

But I guess I can continue reading the super true tale of the Grateful Dead, a book I found in the workstation library. I almost started reading this theo apologist book that uses physics to prove the Judeo-Christian God, and then realized that if he had in fact done so I probably already would have heard of it and I wouldn’t need to learn it from a paperback book published in the 80s. The workstation libraries definitely have a strange assortment of stuff, including stories of Peace Corps service, which is like the last thing I want to read right now. It’s weird that I was so obsessed with reading about the Peace Corps for so long and now that I’m living it I have no desire to even think about someone else’s experience. I can barely process my own. I definitely have no desire to read another Peace Corps blog for as long as I’m here. I can barely keep up the enthusiasm for my own! Once things settle down for me in my new house, I don’t think there will be a lot going on to report about and I doubt I’ll be updating more than a few times a month. I don’t want to bore anyone, geez.

And on that note, I just want to add that dad totally sent me the biochemistry/pathology text book that KU med uses in it’s beginning seminars and I am totally going to learn the shit out of it. I am a little concerned that my anticipation for this book is exponentially higher than my excitement about my birthday, swear in, moving to my new house, and even cooking for myself, but I’m going to have science! Yay!

XOXO,

Elaina


Monday, September 13th

Yay, my birthday is in a week, woot woot! I think I actually might have a few packages in the mail, too…so even if I don’t get anything for my birthday I should still get something SOON.

I passed my language interview! Intermediate high is what I will swear-in as, which is completely fine with me. I think sometimes I can perform at an Advanced low level, but not consistently enough and it was definitely not showcased in my last interview. I’m just glad I get to go to the big ceremony. All the different sectors have matching tissue and I am picking up my traditional African style dress (called a modele) on Wednesday from the tailor. I asked for some embroidery that was sparkly and very pretty, so hopefully it’s awesome looking. I’m not too picky, though.

So swear-in is on Friday and we only have tomorrow and a half day on Wednesday left of classes. Tomorrow we’re at Songhai for the last time and I’ll post my last blog from training! After that these blog entries will be from an officially sworn-in Peace Corps volunteer, jigga-what?! Haha

I have started writing the tale of my love story with Colt. It’s pretty ridiculously sappy, actually. We’re incredibly cute with some pretty interesting stories in the history of our relationship so I think it’ll make decent writing. We’ll see; at the very least it’s cathartic for me to write it. I spent like two hours the other day re-reading all the old notes that Colt had given me from high school and than dreamed that we were still in the very beginning of our relationship with all those first concerns and dramas. We were both really different back then and we’ve changed a lot, but somehow we’re still compatible after all those changes.

I did the calculations and right now, he and I have physically been together for more time than we have physically been apart, even considering four years of long distance in college. With his visits and my semester at KSU, we’ve been together for just over a week longer than we’ve been apart. The bad news is that in about three days that balance will even up and then switch over to the majority of our relationship being spent physically apart from each other. The even worse news is that we won’t get back to half way and then surpass it until like September of 2014. So, that sucks. Especially when I think about how probably in the course of the next two years I’m going to actually get to spend a whole four or five weeks with him in total, and that’s it. Uuuughhhhh, depressing.

Happier things now.

Velveeta shells macaroni and cheese. This can be sent to me. And should be in high numbers.

Wow, it is astonishing how quickly that thought made me feel better. I really do love cheese and I have not had any real stuff since July 15th when I had my last meal of a subway sandwich with extra provolone, toasted just so the cheese begins to melt. Aaaahhhhhhh.

I miss cooking with Colt, making really random meals and trying to pair it with a wine or beer. Colt made a Mexican casserole (aka ‘mexicas’) a few days ago and I was more homesick and missing him than I had been in weeks. It’s like for some reason the thought of good, spicy Mexican food and Colt just go hand in hand with me missing America. That and the other homesick-inducing combo of pizza, Colt, and an action movie. That’s always a nice one, especially with a good beer (ou bien, a diet coke) thrown in the mix. Ok, screw Benin; I’m coming back!

Nooooot really. But damn I am sick of couscous which is sort of crazy because it’s the dish that is so good they named it twice.

Ok, enough of this nonsense, I’m going to go read about Jerry Garcia and the Dead.

With love from the dark continent of your imagination,

E


Tuesday, September 14th

Well, clearly I did not post my blog from yesterday. That is because the internet at Songhai was not working at all. The ladies behind the counter wouldn’t even let me buy any time because it was not going to be working any time in the foreseeable future. Today we signed a bunch of forms and finalized a lot of the plans for swear-in and the party afterward as well as when our taxis are leaving to go to our posts. It was super fun. Relatedly, we get our money for move in pretty soon so we’ll be able to buy a bunch of stuff before we leave…which is awesome. Also awesome: we have only one day of classes left!! Ahhhhhhh

Not so awesome: there are a couple people who did not pass their language requirement. They do not get to officially swear in and must take extra language classes and then re-test in a month. At that point they will be allowed to officially swear-in and their service of two years begins then. So basically, they have to spend an extra month in the Peace Corps because of it. That totally sucks and I think we can all see ourselves in that position. I mean, I was really not feeling good about my interview and feel like I could have easily been placed in that position. So they have definitely got my sympathy.

I talked to some ecotourism people today and decided that colt and I should hit up the safari thing pretty much right when he gets here, like spend a night in Djougou and then spend the next two nights on safari, that way we will have plenty of time afterward to really get to hang out and be comfortable. Apparently right before Christmas is a pretty good time to go, too, because it’s the dry season and that means that all the watering holes available to the animals are known to the guides and it is easier to spot them. I’m pretty stoked!

I learned that flossing your teeth once a day can help prevent heart disease. So I’m totally doing that now; go me.

Ok, I cannot believe how boring this has become. Next time I get online I’m going to have something interesting to talk about, I promise.

E

Nakayo! Part Un

That means "welcome" in Dendi, the local language of my village!

Ok, so let me just say that wow, it has been a long time since I have been away from my computer and I am realizing that I have definitely not been absconding from technology since I’ve been in Africa. I have pretty regularly updated this blog despite the fact that I no longer find anything in my day to day existence particularly interesting, unless you consider incredible bureaucratic frustration to be especially engaging. However, the last week that I have spend sans computer has been one of legit trials and tribulations, as it were, although not much of those trials were directly related to technological-withdrawl. While in Djougou I got really bad food poisoning, was throwing up bad enough that I was super dehydrated, and ended up needing to go to the local hospital for intravenous intervention. Now, seriously, before anyone freaks out, I am fine and back in Porto Novo, safe and sound. The Peace Corps doctors advised me the entire time and everything was clean and safe. That said, it was pretty intense.

I suppose I’ll just tell the little post visit tale chronologically, but know that as I write this I am at full health with my trusty anti parasitic pills, and that I really liked Djougou. I’m also breaking this post visit into two parts; my thrilling tale of food poisoning will come later, but first let me recount all the other parts of my journey! The writing is a bit more story-like, which was definitely more fun to write than normal blog entries have been.

Ok.

Djougou Post Visit Part Un

The first day of visit began at 5:00am when I left my host family to walk to the school where the van was picking us up to take us to the bus. It was still dark outside as I walked to school and the entire city was transformed into a weird, mysterious landscape that only made not speaking french that much more frustrating when dark shadows called out things to me. Once I was on the bus, I managed to use up the entire battery of my ipod within an hour and my homologue, Imorou, and I didn’t really have much to discuss beyond the basic familiarities. I think we both realized we’d be spending a lot of time together in the future and there was no need to waste the glorious air-conditioning of the bus to actually attempt to engage in a conversation en franglais (an intriguing blend of French and English). We stopped in Bohicon, a lovely little town that will be hosting Heather and Craig, and there for the first time in my life, paid someone to allow me to pee in a hole. It was cheap, but one would think that the very act of paying to urinate necessitates some sort of sanitary conditions, but that was definitely faux.

Once we arrived in Djougou, Imorou kindly discute’d (“dis-queue-tay’d” a franglais word of tres importance that means negotiation) a good price for a meal of yam pilee with wagasi. Yam pilee is like pate (sticky and solid and white without any hint of nutritional value…comes from yams…which are not like one would expect; here they are these giant freakishly hairy grey tubers that resemble firewood. To make the pilee, the yams are mashed and boiled and mashed again and then molded into a strange gelatinous pile to eat by hand with the sauce) but unlike pate, yam pilee is actually sort of good. It tastes a bit like mashed potatoes if they were made by anyone not my mother or myself (there are few things as delicious and incomparable as my mother’s mashed potatoes). They lack a little salt, but with the thick, spicy tomato sauce and the freshly fried, crispy wagasi, yam pilee is definitely my favorite traditional Beninese food I’ve experienced thus far.

Wednesday night I just hung out with my homestay family in Djougou, which ended up actually being a quasi-hotel with clean sheets and my own room, but so much noise outside that I wished I had brought my earplugs or not used up all my ipod battery on the drive. The woman who was supposed to house me was sick and I instead slept at her place of business, a tissage center, a new, French built compound where groups of women get together to weave various colorful fabrics. It is actually the place where Doug, my post mate and host brother from another mother (he had my host family last year), works with his homologue in the Small Business Development sector. The place was nice and the people nicer; the children outside were screaming the screams of children playing, the noise was supplemented by the other key sounds of the West African town: goats, guinea fowl, and the ever-so-present muezzin of the many mosques that dot the horizon in the city. That night I ate some strangely spicy rice and bean dinner (washed down with half a liter of unfiltered, unboiled water before I realized what I was doing and poured it down the drain), listened to the muezzin in his minaret and read my book called Reefer Madness: Sex, Drugs, and Labor in the American Black Market (if possible, I’ve become even more of a voracious reader here in Benin as well as increasingly, annoyingly liberal. By the end of the book I was ready to argue about the legalization of marijuana to anyone who was bored enough to listen…which was essentially the huge cockroach that ended up dying next to my bed that night). The third half of the book was all about pornography and nudged between discussions of Hugh Hefner and the porn connections to the mafia, there was a mention of my NGO, Population Services International (PSI) as having been started by a guy who wanted to sell novelty items by mail in the US and contraceptives in the developing world. Well, there ya go.

The next day was Thursday and at PSI I was introduced to the Djougou staff who all tried to speak English with me. I thought about asking them about their organization’s humble beginnings, but didn’t think either my French nor my English was sufficient to discuss mail order sex toys at any great length. Everyone seemed really nice and well educated and fully enjoying the air-conditioning and the high speed internet. A few people really joked around with me and I think that I will actually have a bit of fun working there. Imorou and I went out on a little visit to a neighboring village a few kilometers out and met up with a sage-femme at a maternite to collect from her records information about STIs and contraceptive use in her region. Imorou diligently recorded the numbers and we chatted with her for a bit. The place was eerily quiet; all the public health workers in Benin are en grave, on strike, right now for more money from the government. I asked what people do if they get sick and she just smiled and said that they all still work on Fridays.

I was able to see my house that afternoon and let me tell ya, I was not thrilled with my first impression. It had been taken back by Africa; reclaimed by the gods to the insects and creatures of this continent. Spiders, lizards, heretofore unseen bugs of various varieties, cobwebs, freaky looking plants. All that paled in comparison to the maestro, la grande, the largest fucking spider that has ever been conceived outside of a Hollywood horror film. This spider was the size of a large, well-fed rodent, although not nearly as hairy and it was hanging out in a thick, dewy web next to my shower just waiting for an unsuspecting child to wander into it’s nest, Shelob style. I’m talking ten inches from the tip of it’s disturbingly pointy front legs to the back of it’s claw-like nether regions, with a dark, sinister body as thick and robust as my fist. MY FIST. I actually don’t think I’ve seen a larger spider in cinema, except for the Tolkein creation, Aragog from HP, and those freaky Jumanji spiders that gave me the heebie-jeebies for years. Yeah, you remembers those. Imorou killed it valiantly with a stick and I have been assured that the body has been properly disposed of. Doug guaranteed that la grande was not a normal occurrence, a reassurance that was very necessary after Imorou insisted I stay at the house and get habituated to them. Yeah, I don’t want to be that bien ingre, thanks.

Despite the lurking arachnid horror, the house is lovely. I have a few things to be made by the menusier, like a bookshelf, double bed, a few shelves here and there, and a clothes rack, but I have already a make-shift couch, a coffee table, two living room chairs, a dining table with four chairs, a desk, a cot, an extra twin bed, and some duct taped newspaper clippings from the 2008 World Series as decoration. Most of my move in allowance will be spent on carpentry, kitchen supplies, and some cool paintings if they are not too expensive. The house is big and right next door to PSI. I think I’m going to try for a garden outside in my concession if it is okay with my 2 neighbors, although I doubt they’ll care if I give them some tomatoes or moringa leaves free of charge every now and again. I have a guava tree beside the house, but my favorite thing about my house is that there is a mango tree right in front of my little stone porch and I can absolutely see me and Colt sitting underneath it in the hot African winter, eating warm mangoes that have just fallen from above us. It’s like a Jack Johnson song in my front yard, which is just dandy for me although it makes me miss him even more.

That night I had another ‘whoa Africa’ moment looking up at the stars while on the roof of the buvette near my house, on the outskirts of the town where the noises fade away after dark. Doug and I met up to get to know each other a little bit better and have a couple drinks and somehow we ended up on the roof with the very drunk proprietor and a bowl of yam frites while drunk dialing Maman Rico in Porto Novo. I was drinking a petite Beninoise, the local beer of Benin, which is also the feminine nationality here (one could think I was ordering up a small Beninese woman for the evening if that sort of thing happened here, which it does, just not by other women). We had lapsed into a comfortable silence despite the odd moto horn in the distance, unintelligible insect noises in the bush, and the reassuring snores of the bar owner next to us. The moment was subtle, I hardly noticed it to be honest, but I looked up and realized that all the stars seemed somehow nearer and brighter than I’d ever seen before in my life and immediately after that realized that that moment was the first time I was really seeing the unaltered African sky. Because I’d only been in big cities thus far and was too tired and stressed on tech visit in Lalo, I’d managed to miss one of the most simple and breathtaking sights this continent has to offer.

I spent Friday at the Centre de Sante, the health center, and talked with the sage-femmes and lab techs there. I actually watched a women, who only spoke Dendi, get the implant contraceptive, Jadelle (like Norplant) contraceptive inserted into her upper arm in the morning and sat in on a positive HIV test informing meeting in the afternoon. Both of those were pretty intense for different reasons. The first one was pleasing to me because I really enjoy procedures and seeing them done is always exciting for me to learn more about how the human body works and responds to stress. I am always impressed with both the resiliency of the patient’s body and amazed by what looks like a callous roughness from the physician or nurse. Imorou was with me during the insertion and he mumbled reassuring things to the woman in Dendi while taking photos of me dripping iodine solution onto a gauze pad for the midwife. After that we saw the lab where one of the doctors was just about to get the results for an HIV test he was working on. We waited while the little strip began to clearly show the outline of a positive sign and I found myself choking back tears as he explained that the woman, also a non-French speaker and Muslim, was waiting in the other room to get the results. I sat next to him in his office while he called her in. Her face was veiled completely save for her eyes, which were outlined with black and flashed boldly. When the door was closed behind her, she removed her veil and sat down, silent. Without the cover, her gaze was less bold and more tired; the lines of the years had begun to write themselves in the corners of her eyes. I glanced down at the papers in front of the physician and noticed that she was thirty years old and that she was pregnant. Looking while trying not to stare, I could see she was just starting to show under her robes, the swell not more than 6 months old. I expected him to greet her, open the conversation carefully, doucement, break the news as gently as possible, but that didn’t happen. He simply pulled out a stack of cotrimazidole pills from his desk drawer and handed them to her; she didn’t even blink as she tucked them into her waistband.

Later, after a suspiciously tasty dinner at Le Cafetariat le Flamboyant, a buvette/salad joint near the bus stop, it began to rain harder than I‘ve ever experienced. I was lounging on the bed, the mosquito net still flipped up, not yet ready for the night, fanning myself and reflecting on the Dendi that I had managed to pick up during the last couple days (Nasuba--bonjour, Me teg gah?-- comment ca va?, baani--ca va bien, nagbe--merci). I was laying there, trying to think over the noises of the guinea fowl, children, and mosques, vaguely hoping that the still distant cramping in my gut would soon abate, when the skies abruptly opened up with the crack of lightning. My door had been open to the warm evening and the tiled floor was instantly soaked with the sudden African rain. I felt the heat immediately dissipate as I jumped up to close the door against the barrage. I noticed something else as I stood there, the rain soaking through my clothes. It was easy to miss if you weren’t listening, but the sound of the rain was so complete that it filled the room perfectly and silenced all the other sounds of the city save for the pounding hush of the downpour.

Voodoo and Foodoo

Friday, August 20

It is officially less than a month until my birthday and I have started counting down the days. I’m not really sure what I’m so excited about, though. My birthday just so happens to coincide with the exact day that I’ll be traveling up to my post after swear-in. It’s possible that it could end up being my first day at post, but either way it’s not exactly going to be a party. It will be hot and I’ll be exhausted and dirty from travel and I’m sure I won’t have everything I need to feel at home…and I’ll be all alone in a brand new city where I’m probably one of like 0.2% of people who speak English. I guess birthdays aren’t so special as to require a huge group of people celebrating my life or anything, but being totally alone seems sort of a bummer, too. I hope people call me, hint hint.

The language interview went well for me I think. I won’t know for sure what my level is for a few more days, but I know it went up at least one level. I doubt I’ll make it to intermediate high, but on va voir. It’s nice to feel like I can take a mini break and not worry about French for a couple days.

This weekend we’re all getting together and cooking some good old fashioned American food. We’re having fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and mac and cheese with banana bread for dessert. We were promised pizza for a few hours and I was especially excited due to the ridiculous amount of pizza I usually consume in the states, but mac and cheese is still a pretty awesome idea.

I cadeaux’d my can opener to my family today when Rico was opening up my can of peas. He was using a knife and it looked super dangerous, so I just ran and grabbed it and he was super stoked about it. I told him it was a gift for the fam and he definitely was into how easy it was to open up the peas.

I’ve been in kind of a bad mood for the last couple days and I just feel grumpy. I don’t really know why exactly…there’s nothing specific…but just little things seem to annoy me more and my food has not been tasting as good as usual. I think I might be a little sick, but I’m sort of just easily irritated, physically and emotionally. Like one mosquito bite was frustrating me way more than normal and certain little things that other people have done have been more irritating than perhaps the action truly was. I don’t know; I’m ready for a change soon. I like my host family, but I really just need to get to my post so I can figure out my own routine with my own food. I am also really frustrated with the quality of training that we’re getting. I don’t feel like I’m learning anything from the administrative staff and rather all my knowledge is coming from the PCVs. There just seems to be a lot of mix ups and confusion about scheduling and we always seem to be changing things around at the last minute. There have even been a couple things related to health that we’ve been told of which I’m not sure about the validity. I don’t know, I’m just annoyed right now and am really looking forward to week 7 when we go on our post visit!

There was a mini hope for Akon earlier in the week when Papa said he’d think about letting one of the older sisters go with me and then after we could stay at Maman’s sister’s house in Cotonou…but he hasn’t gotten back to me and since the concert is in less than a week, I don’t really foresee it happening.

Ramadan has started and the amount of prayer calls has increased by a large factor. Instead of just a few times a day, I’m pretty sure the pink mosque down the street does the call like every two hours now. I am probably going to keep Ramadan next year when I’m living in a predominantly Muslim area, but in Porto Novo it’s pretty commonplace to see people eating and drinking during the day just because of the large Christian population and no one thinks twice about a yovo doing the same.

Speaking of yovo habits, my beauty routine has changed considerably. Instead of make-up, I basically apply like four different white creams to my body twice daily. One is sunscreen. Another is benzoyl peroxide. Another is this anti-mosquito cream and if that fails, the fourth is hydrocortisone cream. I have all the tubes lined up on my little white plastic desk by my water filter and stack of health related books. And on that note, I really want that “Where There Is No Midwife” book that Jeni bought, but I never actually received. Does anyone know anything about this? Jeni?

I thought I had something else to say, but I don’t remember. TIA

E

Sunday, August 22

I started thinking about writing a book about my Peace Corps service. Since the Peace Corps owns everything I write while I’m here, I won’t be putting any of it up here on the blog because I’m not officially writing it yet. I’m envisioning it as having two main sections for each year of service and having it follow, chronologically, my time here. I’m actually going to include the application process and all the thoughts and decisions about choosing to go. In a really sappy turn of events, I am pretty sure it’s going to be a chronicling of having a super long term long distance relationship in addition to what will hopefully be entertaining snippets of my service here. I know that when I was considering the Peace Corps I read almost everything written by RPCVs and really wanted information about successfully maintaining a serious relationship with someone in the states. So I envision this book as being both informative, reassuring, and an enjoyable read. It always feels very self-involved to be writing something vaguely memoir-esque, but I’d like to think that my experiences here are both enough outside the norm and potentially helpful to others as to negate a little bit of self-aggrandizement. In addition to that book, I’m writing a bunch of Africa related short stories to maybe collect in one book as fiction and publish someday. And in addition to those, I’m continuing on my latest young adult novel about a girl living in the US, but who is actually a fairy princess from another realm. Good stuff. Plenty of things to keep me occupied for after swear-in when I’ll just be sitting around meeting new people before I can actually work.

I met the girl who I am replacing in Djougou and she was super nice and helpful about the house. I haven’t asked her too much about working with PSI yet, but she’s here during this week for training so I’ll definitely have the opportunity. PSI definitely pays for my electricity…so I will be getting a fridge for sure. Immediately after finding that out, I heard that Erevan, the huge yovo store in Cotonou, just so happens to have diet coke…so I will be bringing diet coke to my house in Djougou to get cold in my fridge. I am thinking that during the Chaleur this will be the best idea ever. I also found out about furniture. I will need to get a double bed frame made and possibly some dining room chairs, but that the house is basically completely furnished. She said that I have: a dresser, bedside table, chair for the bedroom, extra bed in the guest room, a cot, a futon like sofa, a coffee table and a dining room table with three chairs, but places for 6 people. So depending on what it looks like on post visit, I might be getting another relaxing chair for the living room and additions to the dining set. I am super happy though! It was pretty funny because she said that everyone always says that she’s spoiled and doesn’t have the “real Peace Corps experience” because the house is so nice, but that she didn‘t really mind missing out. Well, that’s okay with me, too!

Right now I am super hungry for protein. I want a huge glob of peanut butter and I am really regretting not buying some from the peanut butter lady at school yesterday. She’s always there with her jars during all our breaks, but I just decided to wait until Monday for some dumb reason. Mmmmmmm, peanut butter.

So last night Auro came out. Auro is a vodun (voodoo) spirit that comes out in the south of the country during certain times of the year. It is forbidden for a woman to see him; if she does, she will die. Men are supposed to avoid Auro, but nothing will happen if they see him. What happens when “Auro is out” is everyone makes sure they are home before dark and that all the lights are out (because he doesn’t like the light). When he comes by the house, you will know because there is a loud, creepy sound that surrounds the house. There might also be banging on windows and doors. But whatever you do, do not look outside or open the door if you are a woman. It seems sort of silly to us…clearly, “Auro” is just some dude dressed up making a lot of noise to freak people out. But there are actually some pretty serious consequences for not taking Auro seriously. Essentially, because people believe so strongly in the vodun, if a woman is known to have seen Auro, she can be murdered and it will be blamed on Auro. It’s a very subtle difference, but most people don’t even risk looking because of the strong superstition. There are actually some parts of the country where volunteer women are allowed to leave during the time of the year Auro is out because it’s just not safe to risk it. The fear of the community’s reaction to you seeing Auro and the fear of Auro himself become interestingly intertwined in a lot of volunteer’s minds it seems. It almost becomes something you believe in. Last night, for example, I made sure I was home before it was too dark and I asked my host sister when Auro would be out. She said if he came it would be around ten or eleven and that we’d be safe in the house because he wouldn’t come inside the concession. All the windows were covered anyway, though, which seemed super spooky. The entire night I listened for Auro, not sure about what I’d hear. Then I heard it in the distance sometime before midnight. I was half asleep, but the eerie whooping whistle sound was not something I had ever heard before. It never got close enough for me to analyze and I was too tired to stay awake to wait, but the noise was definitely unmistakable for something natural. This morning I’m not even sure if it actually happened or if I was dreaming. The fear of Auro is very intriguing. He never forces you to see him. As long as you’re inside and don’t peek out your windows when you hear him outside, you are in absolutely no danger. And yet, the curiosity about what he looks like…about who he is and how he’s dressed up…about who is with him and what they’re doing to produce the eerie, loud sounds…that curiosity is almost strong enough to almost cause you to want to look, even though you know that looking is the one thing you are not supposed to do. So the fear is not really of Auro, or even of the community’s reaction to you seeing Auro, but of not trusting yourself to have self-control over your own actions. It’s very vertigo-esque. You don’t fear falling itself, but the desire to fall.

I have run out of all snacks and candy. It is really depressing. Someone please send me a package of something! Include stamps (preferably the ‘forever’ kind) and maybe some cheap, women’s cut, colored t-shirts. Handwashing is super rough on my tee-shirts, and whites have not remained white. I’m thinking simple reds and blues, browns, blacks, etc. No writing on them, just a simple scoop neck, size small. Please and thank you!

My birthday is in 28 days! WOO HOO!

E

PS. Apparently, all the money that was stolen from me has been returned! Miranna and Charlie are coming down to Porto Novo at the beginning of week 7 before post visits and will return it to me then. YIPPIE! They will recount the story and the perpetrators then, too…so get ready for that story!

Monday, August 23

Well, the levels are back and I’m intermediate-mid…as expected. I really wanted to get up to intermediate high so I could start learning local language, but apparently no one in our sector is starting local languages yet…so it doesn’t really matter for now. I just have to get one more level before swear in…which I think is possible if I just practice a little bit more at home. It just takes time and it’s hard for me because I am so not a patient person. But little by little I get better. One thing that is sort of frustrating, but nice at the same time is that I have the same instructor as I did before. It is sort of annoying because I wanted to work with someone new, but it’s good because I know her style already. I have two new classmates, though and I think they will make it fun. One guy, Matt, seems very good at just going off on tangents and having a conversation which is so much better than always just doing the lesson. We debated the merits of dutch ovens in french for like ten minutes…which was way better than recounting a boring story.

So I finally went to a tailor to get some stuff made…I haven’t gotten it back yet, but I’ll pick up a new skirt and a modele (the Beninese outfit of skirt and top) on Thursday and report back. Sometimes it’s necessary to get some alterations afterward, but the tailor took all my measurements and I should have some faith in his ability to do a good job. Innocent until proven guilty haha.

After going to the tailor, I bought a coconut on the side of the road off of some little girl’s head. I paid 100 F for it and had a hell of a time cracking it open on the ground. Rico and Fifa helped me and we were giggling for like 20 minutes while we tried to get all the delicious pieces out. There was one particularly stubborn piece that Rico was working on that he kept bouncing up higher than our heads. I was definitely having a good time with it haha. The coconut milk was amazingly refreshing after a long day, too, although I spilled a lot of it on the ground. There was something super rewarding about eating some nourishment that I had worked on with my bare hands (and my leatherman lol).

Well, I guess I should talk about something sad that happened. Today I came home after going to the grand marche to get some meme tish with Carlos and Papa was MAD. He was totally going off on Amede and I asked Rico what was up and he whispered to me that she had failed her school exams and had to repeat the year next school year. On one hand I was happy to see him taking her education so seriously, but damn, he was pissed. He is still mad and she’s been crying for like 2 hours. Every few minutes he’ll come back to where she is and talk to her…the yelling has decreased which I think is good…but she just looks at the ground and cries. I feel so bad and I don’t really know what to do. I would totally give her a hug if I thought she’d be receptive. I tried to give her a piece of my coconut via Fifa, but she didn’t want it. I just wish people would leave her alone. I am pretty sure she gets it now! I told her just now that she would be okay and she just nodded and her eyes welled up. Man, it totes sucks. She’s now just sitting in the living room with us, but on her own couch and she’s just crying silently, looking down while everyone ignores her. It’s so awful but I don’t know what to do!

A commercial for the Akon concert was just on and everyone was like AHHHH, AKON!!! ELAINA TU L’AIME, OUI?! And I was like YES I like Akon, I want to go to the concert…but papa just smiled and went back to berating Amede. Totes lame sauce.

On the lame sauce note, there wasn’t any peanut butter at school today. Also, I’ve given up with trying to be super careful with my weight while I’m living with my host family. They get all sad when I turn down food and since I’m actually usually able to keep eating…and the food is generally pretty tasty…since we’re talking a giant plate of delicious spicy spaghetti for example…I think I will be a happier person if I just sort of enjoy myself for this last month and I’ll watch my weight once I get to Djougou and I can actually have some control over the amount of oil in the sauce and how many carbs I’m taking in. I just can’t control it now and it doesn’t really help anything for me to be all worried about it, you know? So for now…my 6 pack abs plan is on hold. But I will recommence with it after my birthday and hopefully I’ll be super svelte for my Christmas conjugal visit. haha

Ok, I just started laughing at the very serious soap opera and the whole family looked at me like I was being ridiculously disrespectful of the tres grave situation. But I mean, come on. The music was super intense and then this guy said (dubbed over the Spanish) “No, doctor. That is not my brother” and everyone gasped. It was just hilarious and I couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

Oh, Rico’s birthday is the same as Colt’s which he was pretty pleased about. He and Fifa were actually planning the meal for when he visits in December and kept asking me if Colt liked various things…meat, beans, fromage, etc. I had a hard time describing his aversion for red meat, but willingness to eat chicken…especially since the best way for me to explain my vegetarianism is to say that I’m a buddhist and it’s forbidden by my religion. Since that’s sort of true, I guess it works.

Ok….so, one of the sisters just said that Papa is going to go to the Akon concert with me…now I am super confused and frustrated with my French. Grrrrr. Tomorrow I will ask him because he is sort of tired right now.

Until next time,

E

Tuesday

So, I am definitely going to Akon on Saturday! Papa said we're going and maybe I can bring Krista and Andrew.

Today we learned about Moringa oleifera. It is a plant that was introduced to Benin in the 60s and many environmental action volunteers here have worked with it since 2000. It has been called the “Miracle Tree” which is a little sensationalistic, but actually pretty appropriate. Moringa has all the essential amino acids, which is super rare for a plant. It also has more potassium, calcium, and vitamins than most other sources. There is statistical evidence that shows that when added to nutritional recuperation programs, there is a higher success rate of increasing weight and improved health for malnourished kids. It is also an extremely effective carbon sink and absorbs a lot more carbon dioxide than many hardwood trees. It can be used as animal food, fertilizer, a natural pesticide, and a way to purify water. So, I’ll be eating this in addition to eggs and wagasi to get all my protein. Yay!