back to the blogosphere

I don't really like that word "blogosphere," but I suppose that's what this world is, a little sphere. I know that right now, while I'm specifically blogging about Peace Corps life, is the time when I will probably have the most followers, the most people who regularly read my thoughts about life. It's interesting to know that the scope of this blog has gotten pretty wide. In a lot of ways, that's exactly what I wanted. I wanted to share my experiences with the rest of the world. In other ways, though, it's a bit nerve wracking. Clearly, the powers that be ARE paying attention to what we write, and the idea of censorship just makes me feel pretty icky all over. Because I'm applying to med school right now, I don't want to mess with it, though. Part of me definitely feels that if the Peace Corps thinks something on my blog is inappropriate, med schools would probably agree, and so ultimately it's only a good thing that I am censoring myself, even if it came about through third party censorship. So really, in the long run, no harm done.

And the point of all that was to say: I'm not going anywhere! I'll stop the cursing and maybe think twice about posting negative thoughts, but other than that, I'm sticking around. I still have a lot of time left and a lot of things still to say about the Peace Corps, about Africa, about Benin, and about my life. And I know y'all are still listening, so thank you.

I'm updating my wish list to include more vegan, gluten-free items (more on that later...with a recipe and pictures!), and I'll be posting a few entries today and working on med school applications all day. I'm in Cotonou, just living it up. I live in Africa, man. And life is good.

whoa

I was just asked to remove blog content. Ironically, it was nothing political, but profanity. I am very upset that anyone would think me unprofessional and apologize to anyone I offended by posting my unedited thoughts. I assure you all that I am nothing but professional in practice in my work here and all frustrations are, of course, handled in appropriate ways.

I highly doubt I will be posting often during the second year of my service. I have been effectively scared off. It's unfortunate; I really did consider my blog to be one of the best ways of fulfilling the third goal. I'll be on every now and again with very generic updates, but i doubt the blog will be as free in the future. I'm also deleting my twitter. I have never considered anything I've posted there to be off putting, but I didn't think anything here was, either. I have too much on the line right now to risk it.

So I hope you've enjoyed the blog! I can't believe it's been a year.

Peace Corps Reform

There is little doubt that the Peace Corps is a valued and respected organization. For fifty years, volunteers have impacted the world and served as beacons of American altruism. The organization as a whole has often been above reproach, a legacy of the Kennedy administration, and returned volunteers and currently serving volunteers alike shy away from criticizing the agency that has been such a huge part of their lives. This is starting to change, and rightly so. If the Peace Corps wants to stay relevant for another 50 years, it has a long way to go.

A recent article describes many of the challenges facing the agency and many of the questions that must be answered. In the article, there is reference to Chuck Ludlam and his wife, Paula Hirschoff, two RPCVs who have taken the lead in the Peace Corps reform action. Their 20 point reform plan calls for budgetary reforms and ways to strengthen the organization (including decreasing the alarming 35% ET rate and plans to achieve sustainable first goal results). They and others are also pushing strongly to get PCVs “whistleblower rights” protecting volunteers when they do speak out. This is, of course, an issue very close to home (literally; Kate’s village, Badjoude, is 30 kilometers away from me). Kate’s death was a direct result of Peace Corps administration not respecting her confidentiality and it never should have happened.

Luckily, many of these reform movements are seeing press. The ABC 20/20 episode about Peace Corps scandals has gotten people talking. Ludlam and Hirschoff have continued speaking out, even if controversial, and I know they are working hard, contacting current volunteers and RPCVs to lend support to reform. The Congressional hearings last month about sexual assault changes in the agency are a step in the right direction, but we need more. I happen to have a few ideas on the subject…

What we don’t need is simply more volunteers. Before we worry about expansion, we need to strengthen. We need better development priorities, sustainable project training. We need better qualified volunteers with more experience. We need to make sure that volunteers are safe and protected, even from the Peace Corps itself. We need better systems for volunteers reporting crimes like sexual assault and rape. We need better training and more resources. Absolutely we need better transparency from the agency and hard-hitting evaluations and feedback. The ET rate is too high, red-tape and country specific bureaucracy lead to tension and frustration for volunteers, our role as a development organization has never been really established, and projects are often unsustainable. We need significant reforms on all levels.

One thing specifically would be more financial support for projects. We as volunteers have to raise money for most of our projects. It would be nice if the Peace Corps as an organization could provide funds for specific ideas. For example, our girls’ camp this month was funded entirely by friends and family in the states. This is a major undertaking that has been successful in this area of Benin for five years and makes a clear and distinctive impact on the community. It is a major project for many of us and yet all the financing is external to the Peace Corps. Another idea, one that Ludlam and Hirschoff agree with, is increased collaboration with larger aid organizations. The Peace Corps is not an aid organization, per se. It’s sort of a mini-aid organization with large cultural and community based exchange aspects. If we were partnered up more frequently with bigger organizations, we could be valuable volunteer workers for developmental aid in a more roundabout way. This is basically what I am doing working with PSI, a large American based international NGO. I am, however, one of only two of us in our 60 member training group who actually works with an organization of this magnitude. And I’m still frustrated with my work a lot of the time.

I initially thought my frustration was only due to the general difficulty of working in development aid in Africa, but that’s just not true. I’m frustrated not only because development work is hard, but because the Peace Corps isn’t really a development organization at all! We don’t have the training or resources to really be effective with international development work. We aren’t really even expected to be. Maybe this realization will help me stop beating myself up about not saving the world. I’m just supposed to experience the world. I’m not sure I accept that, though.

I know that a lot of people value the ambiguous nature of the Peace Corps as more of a cultural exchange program than a development program, but personally, I resent it. I wish the Peace Corps would figure out what we’re really supposed to be doing. If we want to shift work more toward a legitimate development program, we would have a lot of changes to make. Things like data collection, selecting more experienced volunteers, and allowing administrators and managers to work for more than five years would help us look more legit. Of course, not everyone wants this. A lot of people still see the Peace Corps as a time for personal growth, learning a new language, becoming a better citizen of the world, and to a certain degree I totally agree with this. I have already been immensely impacted in how I will approach the world and I know I’ve gotten to know my community much better than the workers in more traditional aid agencies do. I have friends here and am really a part of this place. I’m not sure that would be possible if the Peace Corps was more centralized and focused on development. The fact that Volunteers make the agency what they will is a powerful and romantic idea. We do what we need to do without a set-in-stone mission and there’s something wonderful about that, I agree. But what is it that we really need to do in the world? What is our real goal as an organization? Do we want our tax dollars to go to recent college grads on a two year cultural vacation? We need to figure these things out before we can move forward. And it’s not just me that needs to get thinking; this is something Peace Corps Washington needs to decide.

It has been 50 years. It is time to start asking those penetrating questions. We, as volunteers, as returned volunteers and managers inside the administration, have a unique responsibility to speak up. As Hirschoff and Ludlam say:

“Those of us who revere the Peace Corps should take the lead in asking these questions. Those who care the most…should ask the hardest questions. The Peace Corps is an historic and romantic vestige of the values of the 60s and the New Frontier, but that role is not sufficient to explain and justify its role in the 21st Century. The ultimate act of loyalty to the Peace Corps is to ask the tough questions before outsiders do.” 

So let’s get crackin’. Once again, I really hope I’m not coming across as an anti-Peace Corps volunteer. I know the administration here has my blog address, but I’m not sure how frequently they stop by. Probably not at all (but just in case…hi, guys!). I don’t think my criticisms can be considered inappropriate content and I’ve never had my blog be mentioned to me by anyone in the administration…yet. But I worry about it sometimes. The fact is, we’re not really protected over here and I’ve heard stories of administrative separations (ad-seps) for online content. Granted, those were usually due to country specific political posts, or wildly disrespectful information about the country or the country’s people, but…the fear is there. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. I won’t be silenced just because I worry about who is listening. I believe I have a right and a responsibility to talk about this stuff, to challenge the organization that I believe in so strongly to become better.

I hope in fifty years there will be someone like me riding around on her hover board (you know, ‘cause it’s the future), making the choice to join a still relevant, still powerful, still life-altering and idealistic Peace Corps. But we have to start now to make that happen.

What's Next? American civic duty and the West Wing

The West Wing was a television show that captivated me as a child and helped force me into the kind of patriotism that was sometimes difficult to find during my adolescence. I followed the first two seasons diligently, watching with my dad on Wednesday nights. I didn’t always understand the fast pace or what the official jobs of the characters really were, but I learned about politics, about America. At some point I stopped watching, but I never really forgot how moving some episodes had been or how much of an impact the television show had on my development as a politically minded American citizen.

Across an ocean for the last year as a Peace Corps Volunteer has provided ample time to catch up on the seasons I had missed and re-watch those first two. As someone serving my nation abroad, I felt a connection to the public servants in the White House, and the fictional current events propelled my interests in what was going on in America. Watching those first seasons I saw the parallels between our nation’s actions during the early 2000s and was moved to tears remembering how little my thoughts have changed in the ten years since I regularly followed the show. I waited to hear President Bartlett ask “What’s next?“ as they moved on to the next crisis or simple affair that could change the course of history. I would often make a quick lunch on my tiny stove and sit on my make-shift couch with the fan strategically positioned and open my computer to watch an episode or two of this show, slowly working my way through the seasons and the drama, always feeling a sort of pride and astonishment at the amazing accomplishment that is the United States.

The first few seasons I debated my own interest in pursuing politics or trying to get Colt to do so, the fourth and fifth seasons I thought a lot about our relationship with the rest of the world, the Islamic nations and the international marketplace. During the sixth and seventh my mind turned to the bittersweet and remarkable nature of America, resilient and malleable like the Constitution itself. Always I was looking for guidance from the gentle leadership of Jed Bartlett, a president that seemed benevolent and strong, the perfect leader of the world. I know I would have voted for him.

I thought a lot about how democracy works in America, all the red tape; it’s easy to get jaded and cynical about the process and become frustrated with the game of politics. I myself became much less involved and interested in the political landscape after high school. Once I found myself in a blue state for college, my passionate interests in politics seemed absurd; I had no one to disagree with anymore. I got lazy. Sure I was motivated to basic action during the 2008 presidential election, taking part in some simple campaigning between studying for finals and lab exams. I was invigorated by the fight for the White House and really believed in President Obama’s goals. I just didn’t really think it had anything to do with me. So I voted and forgot about it. I fell into the trap that the top of the ticket is all that matters. But I was wrong to forget about the other parts of government and the other levels of government. My apathy was misplaced.

If I’ve learned anything from the West Wing it’s that the Executive branch is only the beginning of the story. It’s more powerful in action than perhaps intended, but when it comes to legislation and policy and domestic changes on a federal level, Congress is just as influential and just as worthy. And there are small fights for those seats every two years, fights that are crucial for the smooth operation of our country. And if we care, we have to get involved. Apathy is not acceptable. It’s not okay to just say that you’re not interested in politics or that the game doesn’t matter to you; that game is what makes America what it is. The potential of the political system is what leads to greatness.

I wish that I had more formal education about political science. I really do. I chose to spend most of my time in traditional sciences with a splash of social and economic issues and that’s fine. I just wish I had had more time for an undergraduate education or the money or the foresight to have gotten even more out of my fantastic degree. But I don’t have that and am passionate about medical school and practicing medicine. But I can guarantee that I will be an active voice in policy. That means closely following legislation and voicing my opinions loudly. It means taking an active role in the causes and the leaders I believe in. It means learning on the go, playing the game and meeting the system head on to defend it and change it whenever necessary.

That’s a great thing about the West Wing in the end. After eight years in the White House, the president stepped aside and the next guy took over. The next administration began to tackle problems left behind and address new challenges. Every few years we get a fresh start to how this country is governed and it is always peaceably handed over with bittersweet memories and open expectations. It takes an involved and passionate public to hold our leaders to the highest standards and loudly demand perfection even when it is impossible or people disagree. The West Wing showed me that this process is fun and exhilarating, exhausting and toll taking. In its ideal form, American politics is about duty, about serving the people, the nation. It’s about taking responsibility and handing over the reigns in the end. None of us can ignore the call to serve or give up in frustration when things get tough.

In just a few months the nation will be gearing up for another election year. President Obama (eerily similar to the West Wing’s Matt Santos) along with hundreds of others will be on the campaign trail hard at work to win the minds and hearts of the American people again or for the first time. I will be here in Africa, barely making it home in time to vote next year, but I will be watching as often as I can. That’s the amazing thing about the West Wing; the show is over but the spirit continues. Every time we challenge our leaders, ask questions of the Constitution, or have even a casual conversation about a candidate for office, we are making history, fulfilling our own civic duty. We are living the greatness of the United States and there is no possible excuse for complacency. So this year, do your part. If you have a complaint, do something about it. Don’t forget about what makes America the best nation in the world. Get involved. Take up the call yourself and ask, “What’s next?”