gone to look for America

So I'm leaving in five days for my trip to America. I'll be visiting 5 different med schools, giving Peace Corps talks, eating American foods, and going on dates. I am unbelievably excited about this trip! Before I go I have to get my house keys copied for my new post mates, find 6 weeks worth of food for Zaari, pack, and clean my house.

The last few weeks here have gone by incredibly fast. I lead the science classroom at an art and science camp, helped talk about and put in contraception devices, talked about HIV/AIDS and helped with testing, did end of the month reports, went to the swear-in of the new volunteers, made untold numbers of cakes and pies and cookies, discovered that I'm not as gluten sensitive as I thought, got my wedding venues booked, changed my wedding colors, changed my wedding colors again, planned my new tattoo, red like four thousand books, watched Avatar a hundred times, fretted over med school application stuff, found out my stepmom is pregnant with a baby girl, said good-bye to sooo many volunteer friends ETing and COSing, lost 20 pounds, became vegan and gave it up, tried again, gave up smoking, wrote four chapters, learned more Dendi, and planned my first date night out in Kansas for the 30th. It's been a whirlwind.

Anyway, I'm so ready to go home for a while and just take a break from Benin. I also have a lot of work to do while I'm home but I have no doubt that I'll thoroughly enjoy myself as well. I'm really worried this time about reverse culture shock, but I think I'll be happy enough after a couple days. Pizza? Movies? Air-conditioned gyms? Yeah, I think I'll do just fine.

a light at the end of the tunnel

Things are looking up. Colt will be here in 29 days, the Harmattan winds have started bringing cooler nights and wonderful midday breezes, my french is almost always adequate in any given situation, and those damn baby goats are as cute as ever. I have a new found sense of duty after filling with patriotism post season two of the west wing. i am serving my country by living here, i am working toward international cooperation and peace by living with the people making little money and hand washing my laundry. There is honor in that and i am really starting to believe it. I thought I believed it when I applied, but Peace Corps applicants have no idea about so many things. I think it takes at least a good chunk of a year to realize how much you don't know and even more time after that to find the perspective that will foster effective work. I am at that point. I started so completely misguided and I had done my homework! I was as possibly prepared as can be expected from a well educated American 22 year old and rounding up to my fifth month here I am only now seeing that there might actually be a place for me here. I had to get lost in myself, in the dark, before I could see the possibility for something other than a cheap idealism. I have come full circle as it were, and i am just now understanding that there was something almost insincere about our desire to serve.

internet on a monday??!

i am using a french key board right now at the small cyber cafe near the school we have classes at during the week. i have all my blog entries typed out on my computer but forgot my portable hard drive today. it's not too bad though because we are going to songhai tomorrow and i can update then. but these keyboards are crazy!

we find out our site locations on friday so i will try to get online before the following tuesday to let you know where i'll be for the rest of my time here after swear in in september. we are all really nervous and excited to see who will be near us (and thus become our better friends!)

things are good, the 50th anniversary of independence for Benin was yesterday and was a big party all over the country! we got to meet a lot of the other volunteers in the country and i even got to hang out with two volunteers who were finishing up their two years of service and heading back to the US of A. seeing them and their enthusiasm was very good for me; i will talk about that more in one of my 3 blog entries tomorrow!

i added my number and adresse at the top of the blog so ppl can get in touch with me easier. ok time for more french and bicycle training. woo hoo!

a demain,

E

only one w-word until the a-word

That's what Colt is saying. Every time he brings up our impending uber-separation I either burst into tears or declare loudly that I don't want to talk about it. He pointed out this morning that we should probably talk about it sometime other than in the airport next Wednesday. Well, perhaps.

Packing update: I officially own or have access to everything that I will be taking with me to Africaland. It is all pretty much gathered in my old room at my mom's house, scattered among the 10 totes of other stuff I own that I will be leaving with her. I have 1 big duffel bag and a smaller one with a pretty nice black canvas backpack to carry everything in. I've also used up almost all of my mom's ziplock bags by storing all my toiletries in them. I searched high and low for solar powered rechargeable batteries, but could not find them. And then I realized that I'm not really bringing anything that requires battery power. Sometimes, the blondness is tres apparent.

As I type this, I am slowly working on uploading all of my summer photos to facebook. Thesd pics include trips to Kansas City, Chicago, Oklahoma, and Texas. Most of them are definitely from my Chicago vacation/med school visit (like half from the gay pride parade!) and looking through them makes me increasingly sure that I am going to apply to Northwestern and the University of Chicago. Both campuses were awesome and I definitely fell in love with the Lincoln Park neighborhood. Molly's Cupcakes FTW! Anyway, it will be fun to visit the city again next fall when I come back to interview (assuming I even make it to the interview stage of the application process!).

The summer has been primarily lazy as far as french preparation goes. I've been incredibly lax with my studies post graduation. I guess at some point I just realized that I was going to be in a pretty low level group to start off with and it wasn't going to be particularly beneficial for me to study all summer to get up one level, after which it will be more difficult to improve. So I've been slowly moving through Harry Potter et l'ecole de sorciers, but I don't think I'm much past chapter 2 at this point. I think I can handle being one of the poorest french speakers of the group. C'est la vie.

I'm getting ready to go on a Pirates of the Caribbean binge as part of my American pop culture overload of summer 2010. Other binges have included mashed potatoes, corresponding tattoos, vegan hotdogs, little league baseball games, sunburns, and spending too much money on mediocre Italian cuisine. My facebook album, Quest: Party in the USA, is an attempt to keep track of these last few weeks of America. The fourth was fun and included a very American doubles game of ultra-competitive table tennis and semi-naked trampoline fireworks viewing. I created this delicious cookie cake that was decorated with an anatomically correct flag made of mixed berry. Yum!

Ah, Colt. Preparing for our goodbye is not something I am even remotely ready for. He is taking me to the airport and I haven't decided if I'll be so shell shocked from the immensity of the separation or if I'll flood the place with my tears. I know that I am going to be a big ball of stress about the whole thing soon. I made him promise to show some emotion sometime this week and not just always be the strong one. He has off from work all but two of the next 7 days, so hopefully we'll get in all the cuddling of two years into this week. Ugh, just thinking about him all lonely makes me sad. Next!

I'm having a lovely going away/graduation party on Friday. I am making a drink concoction called summer beer that I discovered at a friend's 21st birthday party earlier in the summer. It's light beer with vodka and lemonade. I'm pretty stoked about it. I'm also going to make funfetti cupcakes which will be good practice for our wedding reception since we'll be doing the cupcakes ourselves.

On that wonderful note, this summer I also have planned a lot of the wedding details since I won't really be around to do it in the next two years. It seems maybe a bit over the top, but I literally have a schedule of the ceremony and we've picked out the locations for it and the reception. We have a budget and have selected colors and songs and pretty much everything except reserving locations and vendors...because it's like waaay ridiculously too early for that haha. I tried on dresses, too and found styles that I think will match the look I'm going for. My plan is to actually buy the dress and make a lot of the set in stone plans when I am back in the states next fall for med school interviews. It's fun to actually think about this stuff finally!

One other thing I've slacked off with this summer is running. I think I probably went running a grand total of 10 times or something embarrassing like that. I really miss it and so does my body. I've basically gained back all my marathon training weight which is wicked lame! I'm bringing my Asics with me to Benin, so as soon as I can, I am going to find a running routine. I think I forget sometimes how much a quick jog can clear my head and calm me down. In fact, that sounds pretty good right now; maybe I'll get in a couple runs before next Wednesday.

Well, I doubt I'll be posting until Philadelphia staging. My flight is 7am on the 14th and orientation activities start at noon at the hotel in Philly. We'll all meet up and learn about safety and culture shock for two days and then late at night on the 15th we head out for Benin by way of Paris.

I think there's definitely some part of me that doesn't actually believe that it's happening. I mean, I applied over a year ago on a renewed whim and here I am just days away from leaving. It's pretty trippy and I'm sure it's just going to get increasingly mind blowing.

Keep it classy,

E

INVITED!!!

Apparently my heartfelt letter did the trick because after a round of phone tag this afternoon, D called and said he had one last question for me and inquired after my best address. I told him and then he said "well, congratulations because you will be receiving your invitation in the mail!"

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I said "are you serious?!" and he laughed and said that he had to "go to bat" for me against his superiors and fought hard to allow me to be an exception to the rule. He then said "please don't prove me wrong" and I assured him that I would not ET.

And dammit, I really cannot ET now! Haha, not that I was that worried about it, but now I'll let other people down besides myself.

So now I have no idea where I'm going. STILL. I have to wait until I get the official invite package in the mail! He said it would be here soon next week, but could take up to 10 days. Ahhhhh, I guess I can wait 10 more days if i have to!

I am so stoked and thankful that this process is essentially over. I know I have a lot of paperwork stuff to look forward to now, but I am really grateful for the overall smoothness of the process. I got pretty frustrated with the Peace Corps relatively often, but in the end, it's all worked out for the best. Hopefully. I guess I still don't know my country.

Care to make a wager?

I absolutely cannot focus on my work now!
Officially I have 2 presentations, 3 major 15-20 page papers, a biology lab project/paper, and two class exam finals to complete before graduation. And I only have 4 days of college classes left EVER. Finals are the week after and then its senior week and graduation.

OMG I'm going be a Peace Corps volunteer!!!!

Stay tuned for the official country location.
The numbers of Sub-Saharan, francophone Africa countries with health programs leaving in July have increased:

Mali- July 1
Niger- July 7
Benin- July 14
Madagascar- July 19

Who knows?

E

ZOMG phone interview!!

I hear my phone buzzing, see that it's an unknown number, and for the first time in weeks, decide that there is no possible way that it could be the peace corps, and roll over and go back to sleep.

An hour later I am waking up for class and see that I have a voice mail. I listen. It's D--my placement officer! I hurriedly jot down his number to call him back and take some deep breaths. I weigh attending my class against calling him back. I take some more deep breaths and go brush my teeth.

I decide to skip class to call him back (I mean, this is my LIFE! I can miss one more French class geez). He answers quite chipperly and finds my file. He says he just wants to talk to me about my placement and my feelings during the process since nomination (which was like 5 months ago at this point!).

He wanted to clarify about a school policy that I had talked about in my interview--apparently I had come across as a bit of a rebel when it came to the policy in question. I was a little horrified since my actions as far as this rule goes were pretty tame and more of a subtle attack on what I felt needed to be changed. He explained that the peace corps has a lot of rules that don't necessarily make sense at first and cited the example of not riding motorcycles. I know about that one from reading all the Benin blogs!

We then spent some time talking about my support system and he asked about my dad's hesitation. I explained that my dad was just going to be nervous about the next step in my life no matter where it was and that we had talked about safety and communication. I feel like I maybe overestimated the level of 'ok' that my dad has for the peace corps, but he'll come around. He just needs some more time.

He then asked about a few specific things. The first one was "can you ride a bicycle?" I was like "Hells yeah!" I used to do some light off-roading/mountain biking when I was younger, and I am so all about riding bikes. Woot. Go Lance.

He then asked if I'd still be willing to take out my nose piercing. I said yes of course, even though that would really suck. I know I could get it redone, but I mean, damn. That will hurt and I might not actually do it for fear of the pain and the hassle of healing time. But it looks so cute on me. I'm not sure if this means that I WILL have to take out my piercing or not, but it's a possibility still. He wouldn't elaborate on more specifically if I'd need to for the program, saying that he actually wasn't sure because they didn't really focus on that kind of detail, haha. He was pretty funny actually.

He then asked about my vegetarianism flexibility which I said was 100%. Which is true, but I'm really going to try hard to maintain it if I can. If I can't do it safely, though, I'll eat meat. Eww. Haha.

He asked me if I'd be willing to go anywhere they sent me and I said what was probably the most honest and open thing I said during the whole conversation: I really want Africa and will be bummed if you offer me a different continent, but I will still go. He seemed okay with that answer and probably appreciated the honesty. I DON'T, however, think it would have been a good idea to say "I won't go anywhere else" because they really value flexibility and consider it an important trait to have. If I was offered something else, I'd take it still. Even if it wasn't Africa. Because I want to serve a community over seas for two years with the Peace Corps! But I would be a bit bummed. I really want Africa, haha.

Speaking of Africa, he then went on to ask me about how I would deal with extreme heat and humidity. I told him I would be psyched for it after spending 4 years in Boston coldness. It was funny because he had just got done telling me I could be sent anywhere and I should be flexible and then asked me a question specific to Africa. He actually chuckled a bit while asking.

And then we had to talk more about Colt and doing the super long distance thing and how long we'd been engaged and if we were able to handle it, etc etc etc. He made it clear that missing significant others is the number one reason people ET (early terminate) and I had to explain that Colt is super supportive and has known about Africa since the day we started dating. I explained that he's known about it for four years and although my desire for the peace corps changed a bit for a while, he was the one who really helped me reclaim the dream. I think that satisfied D, but I understand that there's no way to know. But I don't think it's going to be so hard that I quit. It will be tough, but we can do it because we're like the cutest, coolest, sexiest couple around and we can do anything! But we won't do anything harder than this because that would just be crazy!

Then he said that a decision would be made at the end of the week, chuckled again, and said "that means tomorrow." I think I might have actually shrieked a little, but then he toned it down by saying that it would take at least 24 hours to update the toolkit online and that it would take more time because of the weekend. After that, he said I could look for the pack in the mail.

OMG. I am almost invited! The decision will be made TOMORROW! I iz so happy!

Where will it be????? I'm thinking the 'ol Benin route because he asked for my comfortableness with 'humid' which it isn't really in Mali. But I could be reading WAAY to much into that question.

And oh yeah, at the very end of the conversation he said that he was still considering me for a sub-sahara Africa position in my original nominated place still doing health extension work. So what was the whole conversation about going elsewhere?! Just making sure I was still a flexible person. Well, D, I can make myself into a PRETZEL I'm so flexible!

My guess is that I'll have my invitation by Tuesday, assuming he decides that I rock hard enough for Africa. But who wouldn't decide that?!

E

PS. At the end I really wanted to say, "AND WHAT ABOUT ASHLEIGH HUH?? YOU CALLIN' HER SOON?" but I didn't because, well. That would make me sound crazy. And they don't want crazies representing the peace corps. They ET too often.

Midnight heart stopper

Just got online to the PC wiki on a whim and saw that Benin has been added to the July time line with staging set for July 6th! That means official invites are out right?! And I suppose the caveat is...if I didn't get one, it means no to Benin for me, yeah?

Probably not necessarily. It could be that another desk has gotten out invites before the health desk...or that the date on the wiki is so super unofficial that no invites are actually out yet. Or maybe everyone who is nominated for a a health extension in July for francophone SSA has found out where they are going, except for me!! Ahhhh...

Ok, moment of crazy has passed.

I think I need to go to bed. Maybe I'll get an email in the morning. The restless applicant syndrome is killing me! I really hope I haven't gotten my hopes up for the birthplace of voodoo just to have them dashed.

Positive thoughts! On that note, just one quick thing: I was thinking that I want to incorporate my PC service into my wedding somehow...and thinking I could maybe use a song or tradition I pick up. I'm probably going to have a bit of an off-beat wedding anyway, that a couple African traditions won't seem out of place...Hmmmm. Okay, good. Now I am sufficiently distracted from RAS. Yay for my fiancé!

*edit*
It seems as if Benin has already been on the wiki and somehow I had just missed it. LOL. Way to go me. Sometimes I really meet those blonde moments head on. haha

E

Yes, that was only a moment

of indecision. So all you placement officers out there reading this should know that I am as gung ho as ever about the Peace Corps. I think getting engaged would make anyone question their future, right?

After thinking about it and discussing it with advisers, friends, and the fiance in question, I have decided that I am still on track for this thang. I've wanted it for so long, I really just cannot give it up. I think a part of me pushed the idea away so much in the last month in order to hold off on disappointment and getting my hopes up, that the life I had envisioned had sort of faded away. That made it easier to reject it and think skipping out would make me happier.

Well, that assumption was wrong and I know that if I don't go I'll regret it forever. If I go, I'll only have my baby love to come back to. I am choosing the road with the least regrets and that means AFRICA.

They may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one

Tres Cool!

We watched a video in my french class today about the francophone country of Senegal.

I am usually pretty nervous about speaking in french class, but this prompted me to say:
"j'irai en Afrique francophonie, peut etre Senegal, pour deux ans avec le corps de paix americain"

Everyone thought that was way cool. Me too! I am so excited to get to have this adventure!

The music in the video was so powerful, I was so full of this indescribable surge of anticipation knowing that in a few months I will be living a life with that soundtrack. Part of me thought that it must be some sort of sign and that I'd return to my room and find an email telling me about an updated toolkit...alas, no such message!

The prospect of being trilingual upon my return is pretty cool, too...considering now I speak only english and broken french. I wish I could figure out how to do accents on my computer...

Ahhh, I want an invite!

Patience is a virtue, right? haha

~Elaina