a light at the end of the tunnel

Things are looking up. Colt will be here in 29 days, the Harmattan winds have started bringing cooler nights and wonderful midday breezes, my french is almost always adequate in any given situation, and those damn baby goats are as cute as ever. I have a new found sense of duty after filling with patriotism post season two of the west wing. i am serving my country by living here, i am working toward international cooperation and peace by living with the people making little money and hand washing my laundry. There is honor in that and i am really starting to believe it. I thought I believed it when I applied, but Peace Corps applicants have no idea about so many things. I think it takes at least a good chunk of a year to realize how much you don't know and even more time after that to find the perspective that will foster effective work. I am at that point. I started so completely misguided and I had done my homework! I was as possibly prepared as can be expected from a well educated American 22 year old and rounding up to my fifth month here I am only now seeing that there might actually be a place for me here. I had to get lost in myself, in the dark, before I could see the possibility for something other than a cheap idealism. I have come full circle as it were, and i am just now understanding that there was something almost insincere about our desire to serve.