My Description of Service, or Every PCV's Validation

Well, I'm getting on a plane here in just about 18 hours and I wanted to post my DOS. After this post, I probably won't update again about Peace Corps, but may put up a general: oh hai, please come to my new blog over at HopeMD, type post.

Anyway, here's my last year and a half, condensed into two pages. The official copy is signed by my country director and kept on file on official letterhead. Ooh, official. Oh, and PS. I totally tested into ADVANCED LOW in my last language interview. I was pretty excited to have actually gone up a level since swear-in, especially because I was so worried I'd actually gotten worse! So there ya go, even someone with novice level in the beginning can finish up in advanced. Go me!


Ok, DOS time:

Elaina Hope ________
Description of Service
 July 2010-November 2011

REPUBLIC OF BENIN, WEST AFRICA

TRAINING
Pre-Service Learning  (July 14 – September 17, 2010)
1 Language (87 hours) Classroom study of French; current level: Advanced Low.
2 Technical Training (118 hours) Overview of Beninese healthcare system, comprehensive training on integrated disease management, maternal health, and infant and child health; 10 hours practice trainings and activities in the community.
3 Cross-Culture (35.15 hours) Discussion on Beninese history, geography and, traditions; professional and social culturally appropriate behavior and communication.
4 Health (22.5 hours) First aid, preventive and symptom oriented medical procedure, diagnosis and treatment.
5 Safety and Security (8.5 hours) Instruction on safety practices in Benin and ways to stay secure at post as well as incident reporting procedures.

In-Service Training (December 2010): An intensive two week training that reviewed strategies for community assessment, funding streams, and provided and introduction to promoting behavior change. Instruction also focused on PD Hearth, a nutritional recuperation program and Life Skills, a Peace Corps resource designed to promote communication skills that will enable healthy decision making.

In-Service Training (May 2011): A five-day training on community mobilization for malaria prevention and organizing populations to become health resources and leaders in their community.

PRIMARY PROJECT: RURAL COMMUNITY HEALTH PROGRAM (RCH)
Population Services International (September 2010-November 2011): Worked primarily with the office of PSI-Djougou assisting the communications director with social marketing and health education programming in the regions of the Atacora and Donga. Assisted with the smooth operation of the office and compiled monthly reports and tracking of impacts on the community in the areas of reproductive health and HIV/AIDS peer education trainings. Accompanied PSI on regional formations, assisting with logistics and documentation of activities and progress as well as the synthesis of gathered information and reporting. Assisted the office staff with learning English and regularly participated in translations of documents and paperwork.
HIV/AIDS and Reproductive Health (October 2010-November 2011):  Assisted nurses midwives with the placing of contraceptive devices such as upper arm contraception implants, sexual health consultations, and HIV/AIDS testing and counseling. Participated in discussions of healthy relationships and sexual behavior with community women including condom demonstrations and other family planning options.
Vaccination and Baby Weighing (January 2011): Participated in the facilitation of discussions with community women about healthy nutrition for their newborns and children during baby weighing sessions and weekly vaccinations. Helped nurses and health workers track infants’ progress on growth charts and described healthy meals and options to mothers as well as information about exclusive breastfeeding and malaria prevention.
Pre-Natal Consultation Assistance (September-November 2010): Assisted with Pre-Natal consultation at the maternity center with procedures in conjunction with health workers.

SECONDARY PROJECTS/ACTIVITIES
Peace Corps Volunteer Discussion Day (October 2011): Spent the day talking to high school students in the United States while on vacation, discussing cultural life and development work in Benin and answering questions about the application process, life abroad, and social media while in the Peace Corps.
Running Club (October 2010-September 2011): Had semi-weekly informal running sessions with local kids and adolescents and talked about the importance of regular exercise and nutrition.
English Instruction (March-September 2011): Provided informal lessons of English language instruction with community members and colleagues.
Science, Engineering, and Entrepreneurial Camp (August 2011): Acted as the lead science instructor for a two week course of 60 middle school aged kids. Discussed theory and practice of basic science concepts and designed and implemented several science projects (water rocket, solar water distillation, terrarium, science of sound). Assisted kids with the presentation skills necessary to inform and recreate the projects on their own and oversaw the final community science fair.
Camp GLOW Bohicon (July 2011): Participated in five day empowerment camp for girls as a camp counselor. Facilitated sexual and reproductive health sessions and assisted with the smooth operation of the camp.
Camp Success Djougou (June 2011): Invited girls to participate in the week long girls’ empowerment camp and was a logistics coordinator during the week. Developed and facilitated several sessions, including life skills and women’s rights. Designed sexual and reproductive health sessions and assisted a local midwife with answering questions. Maintained copies and information of projects and progress for sustainability and posterity of future girls’ camps in the region.

It's been fun! I'll miss you all, but be sure to check out my new, med school adventures blog, HopeMD, on wordpress. Thanks everyone!

What I'll Miss About Benin (and what I definitely will not miss!)

I have just under 24 hours left in Benin and I've been thinking a lot about my time here over the last year and a half and what I've really come to love and those things that really drive me crazy. I don't know if I'll miss all these things right away or if it'll take months or even years for me to have a craving for something on the list, but who knows? Here it is, my two lists. Warning, it's pretty long.


Things I’ll miss about Benin:

-the sound of women pounding yams at dusk
-the five times per day call to prayer at the mosques around Djougou
-the sound of the rain on my tin roof while I’m laying in bed
-riding on the back of a zem at night with the cool air rushing by
-seeing and wearing colorful fabric and fun outfits everywhere
-women carrying baskets of whatever on their heads
-cute, free roaming, bratty Beninese kids (even though they annoy me, too!)
-adorable baby goats and chickens running around
-yam pilee…sooooo delicious
-wagasi…there are no words for how awesome and unique this food is
-a cold, refreshing beer after a crazy hot day, especially with other PCVs
-hanging out and venting with other volunteers
-the excitement of making American food and drinks with other volunteers
-watching movies at the Nati workstation
-ordering fries at the Nati workstation
-hanging out with my Beninese friends, just sitting or making small talk
-teaching sexual health and seeing the look of understanding in people’s eyes
-greeting strangers on the street
-French, especially Franglais, the combination of French and English
-random sayings like ‘bon assise, bon travail, bon douche.’ It’s just so friendly!
-constant sunshine and feeling like summer (although Chaleur sucks)
-Zaari and cuddling with her…omg, I can’t even think about her, too sad!
-sitting out in my back porch at night smoking a cigarette and looking up at the stars in total silence, feeling small and awed by the world and my place in it
-long runs in the African bush, the red dirt dusting my shoes
-mango season
-joking around with my work partners
-the camaraderie between volunteers and shared experience of living in Africa
-being the center of attention, someone always interesting and worth talking to
-inexpensive and simple living
-lizards running around like squirrels
-the colorful craziness of the market place
-the awesome tan lines on my feet from my Chacos
-the simple joy of eating a good meal and watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother
-the excitement of others when I speak Dendi, the local language
-not having to shave and just being a dirty hippie
-Harmattan, the windy season, and the fires late into the night, burning on the horizon
-the poignancy of the first, cooling rain of the season
-feeling like I’m making a difference in people’s lives, sometimes in unintended ways
-crazy, unexpected setbacks and the lessons learned (although it is very frustrating, too!)
-feeling like I’m part of something bigger than myself

Things I won’t miss about Benin:

-13 hour bus rides in the heat surrounded by BO and noisy chickens and babies
-constant sexual harassment
-extreme pollution and trash everywhere
-Chaleur, the hot season
-frequent power outages and water being cut
-screaming babies and children
-seeing kids get beat and generally abused
-seeing malnutrition and poverty related illness
-feeling ultimately useless in the big picture of development
-waking up hot and sweaty and gross
-always feeling dirty, never perfectly clean all over
-not being able to cool off or stop sweating after a run even hours after a cold shower
-having my privacy constantly invaded by neighbors and kids
-never being able to be anonymous or walk around without getting called out
-YOVO, YOVO, BONSOIR, CA VA BIEN, MERCI!
-getting called "yovo", "batoure", "anasara", "blanche", "blondie", or "mademoiselle"
-pretty much everything in Cotonou except for the good food and workstation internet
-the subtle pressure from some other volunteers to drink and party heavily
-feeling inadequate as a volunteer and aid worker
-boring and carb heavy food options
-constant sickness and diarrhea and constipation
-having to filter water and always be conscious of how safe the water is
-bleaching vegetables to have a fresh salad
-doing laundry by hand
-bugs and spiders and having to spray and kill them
-mosquitoes and weekly malaria prophylaxis
-constant boredom
-missing friends and family and feeling guilty for being so far away
-LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP and all the crappiness that goes with it
-getting physically grabbed at the market place
-the bureaucracy of the Peace Corps
-feeling stranded at post or frustrated with outside communication or internet
-casual cruelty to animals
-the informal attitude toward time and keeping appointments
-hearing creepy rustling sounds at night and freaking out about what it could be
-sunburns and worrying about getting skin cancer
-gross, always dirty and cracked feet
-fearing for my safety on crazy taxi rides
-being frustrated at the slow pace of life (although I’ve learned a lot, too!)
-having to discuter for prices
-feeling lonely and homesick
-being constantly asked for gifts and money and to be taken to America
-Nescafe. That stuff is nasty. I don’t care how desperate you are. Just say no.

Oh, Benin. It's been life changing and amazing and I wouldn't trade it for anything. But I am ready for a change! I'm not sure if I'll be back on this blog except to post my DOS, but if you'd like, you can keep following my life journey, here at my medical school blog on wordpress.

Keep on rocking!

Elaina

ET update, or Acronym City

I said in my last post that the PC administration doesn't make it difficult to early terminate. Well, after finishing up a couple days of processing down in the capital, I'm realizing that they don't exactly make it easy either.

The ET manual closely resembles the Close of Service (COS) one and because I have spent so much time here, most of my process resembles a COS more than it does an ET for someone who has only been in country a few months or never made it to their post or something. I must meet with almost every PC administration person, get many forms filled out and there is a master checklist that I must get signed before I meet with the administrative officer (AO). I have written a Description of Service (DOS, which I'll post here in a follow-up post), and filled out my official resignation form, and had my close of service medical exam (although I still have to talk with the PCMO about my smoking and get my TB test read...fun stuff haha). I have officially turned in all my Peace Corps stuff (mattress, gas cans, etc) and assigned books (Where There Is No Doctor, Helping Health Workers Learn and many many others), and I need to also go to the bank headquarters and close out my account (which involves a letter and basically taking out all the money left in the account). Essentially most of the things remaining that I have to do are administrative things and talking to the Country Director (CD) and the AO and having my final language interview (scheduled for the morning). I have a couple other errands I need to run in Cotonou and a few loose ends to tie up, but for the most part, I've gotten the majority of the necessary procedures finished.

Right now I'm also waiting on confirmation of my Air France flight information, but if all goes according to plan (and really, how likely is THAT going to be haha), I could theoretically be leaving Benin in the evening on Thursday, the 24th. Which, of course, is THANKSGIVING. I'll be able to have a last meal here with a few other volunteers and say some goodbyes and get a couple photos. I'm planning on wearing my nice bazin tissue, the red marbled pants and top that I wore for the new stage swear-in in September. I'm gonna be cute! Peace Corps will provide a ride to the airport with all my things and if all goes well (meaning no horrible two day delay in Paris grrrr), I could be back in Kansas City by the evening on Friday, the 25th. I won't make it for Thanksgiving, but I'll be home in time for leftovers! Woo hoo!

Ok, that's all I can think of for right now, I'll update with my DOS later on today when I think of it. I was pleasantly surprised after finishing it up. I've felt for a long time that I didn't really do that much work-wise, but then I finished writing the DOS and realized that I may have had more of an impact than I thought. Which is a lovely feeling to have as I'm leaving. Ok, talk to you later!

~Elaina

I'll be home for Christmas

Well, it's official! I am leaving the Peace Corps a few months early to go home, help my family out, and make some money before medical school. The decision was definitely a tough one and one I analyzed for a long time before calling the Peace Corps to set it up, but ultimately it's the best thing for me and my family right now. Essentially it came down to the fact that I was going to have to ET anyway, probably in April, and why should I wait around for five months, get back into a routine, and be frustrated and miserable when I could make it home for the holidays? The Peace Corps does not make it difficult to early terminate and once it comes down to a need to ET for grad school, a few extra months seem superfluous in the long run. Sure, I feel a little guilty about leaving my projects and work partners behind (and I am close to traumatized about leaving Zaari), but everyone has been very understanding, especially of the fact that in reality, it's only a few months earlier than expected.

The next couple weeks will be spend filling out pages and pages of forms, figuring out packing and getting Zaari to her new home. She will be going to the home of a PC homologue who has many kids who love animals. I will be able to get updates on her through my Djougou post-mate and in the end, staying here is what is best for her (even if it makes me cry at night haha).

The last year and a half has been completely life altering and amazing and I wouldn't trade it for anything. It had its ups and downs, but doesn't life? Overall, I was happy and feel like I've both done some amazing work here and made many lasting friendships (cue cheesy music now). I'll miss a lot of people, but I would have been saying good-bye in a few months anyway, so I guess it's just ripping off the bandaid early.

All that sad stuff said, I am so incredibly excited to be going home! I'm looking for jobs in tutoring, being a nanny or long-term babysitter, or working as a receptionist at a medical office. I've already applied to over 20 jobs and hopefully I'll start to hear back soon. Apparently moving is sort of expensive...as is getting married and starting a household...(who knew? haha) so I'll be trying to save up as much as possible in the next few months before the wedding and med school.

I also just want to say that there have many times when I've wanted to leave, usually for very emotional reasons not backed by real logical ones. I've missed America and my family and Colt, but I've held out because I'm strong and determined and have never been someone to quit something just because it was hard. While ETing now does indeed solve some of those feelings (completely normal feelings that almost every PCV deals with on occasion), me leaving now is not due to emotional reasons. Right now it's about logic and finances and being a part of my family. Once I reached this point of clarity in thinking about my options, it actually wasn't that stressful of a decision. Ultimately, I'm not upset or struggling with the choice because I've put in enough time for me, personally, to feel accomplished and satisfied with my work and life here. Before I was always worried about regretting the choice later in life, which was a major deterrent to leaving. But now, at this point, with only a few months left, I know that I will have no regrets, only good memories! It helps that everyone I've talked to is supportive and in no way do I feel like a quitter. I loved it here and feel like I'm ending things on a good note at a good time for me.

Benin, it's been real. Stay classy,

Elaina

PS. I'll probably be back on to give a few ET updates for interested people and I may update again once I'm permanently back in the states. I can't believe this blog is ending! It's been such a big thing in my life for a long time now and it's going to be weird. I'll link my new, med school blog here and again in my final post. Yay, for turning the page!

Hanging out in Paris

"I am working in Paris. I cannot for a single day get the thought out of my head that there probably exists something essential, some immutable reality, and now that I have lost everything else (thank God, it gets lost all on its own) I am trying to preserve this and, what is more, not to be content. In a word: I am working."
-Chagall




I wish I was working. I'm really just trying to not fall asleep or starve to death. See...my flight back to Benin was cancelled and rescheduled for tomorrow. But I didn't KNOW that until I arrived here in Paris. And since they made the cancellation long enough ago (like anytime before today apparently), they won't give me a hotel room. And since I decided that because I was going back to Africa and didn't need my American money and thus gave it to Colt in the Kansas City airport...I officially have no money and I'm stranded in the Paris airport...until tomorrow. And I'm hungry. But wait. I have no money for food! AHHH. It's like survivor. I seriously don't even know where I'm going to sleep. Probably in a metal chair. 


Lucky for me, the McDonald's has free wifi. Unlucky for me, my computer battery is slowly dying and my wall charger doesn't fit the freaky french plug ins. Also unlucky for me, I'm about to pass out from jetlagged induced exhaustion and seriously have no idea where I'll go. It's not like it matters if I go back through security or not any time soon since most people getting on this flight won't even arrive to the airport for another like 22 hours. 


I did walk outside into the Parisian air expecting a moment of awe or something. Mostly it was just cold and the ground was littered with cigarette butts. So I came back in to McDonald's...where I don't have any money for food, but at least the ole golden arches remind me of home.


Here goes another round of this whole across the ocean, Peace Corps thing. My heart is already aching but at least I'm too tired to cry anymore.


Elaina


PS. I got accepted to the University of Kansas School of Medicine! I got the letter last week and jumped around like a crazy person for a while. I'm gonna be a doctor!!!!!


PPS. This fact makes finishing up these last few Peace Corps months very difficult. It's like senioritis with a long distance relationship. Not a good combo. 


PPPS. I totally forgot to bring back Thanksgiving food stuff. I was really excited about being about to make pumpkin pie. Fail.

gone to look for America

So I'm leaving in five days for my trip to America. I'll be visiting 5 different med schools, giving Peace Corps talks, eating American foods, and going on dates. I am unbelievably excited about this trip! Before I go I have to get my house keys copied for my new post mates, find 6 weeks worth of food for Zaari, pack, and clean my house.

The last few weeks here have gone by incredibly fast. I lead the science classroom at an art and science camp, helped talk about and put in contraception devices, talked about HIV/AIDS and helped with testing, did end of the month reports, went to the swear-in of the new volunteers, made untold numbers of cakes and pies and cookies, discovered that I'm not as gluten sensitive as I thought, got my wedding venues booked, changed my wedding colors, changed my wedding colors again, planned my new tattoo, red like four thousand books, watched Avatar a hundred times, fretted over med school application stuff, found out my stepmom is pregnant with a baby girl, said good-bye to sooo many volunteer friends ETing and COSing, lost 20 pounds, became vegan and gave it up, tried again, gave up smoking, wrote four chapters, learned more Dendi, and planned my first date night out in Kansas for the 30th. It's been a whirlwind.

Anyway, I'm so ready to go home for a while and just take a break from Benin. I also have a lot of work to do while I'm home but I have no doubt that I'll thoroughly enjoy myself as well. I'm really worried this time about reverse culture shock, but I think I'll be happy enough after a couple days. Pizza? Movies? Air-conditioned gyms? Yeah, I think I'll do just fine.

A Hundred Fans

My standing fan is broken and I am sweating in my hot little house as I finish the movie. I’m frustrated and itching for a cigarette. I’m thinking about tomorrow and the early trip I am taking to the regional workstation where I know I have a package from America waiting for me. I am planning my vacation, thinking about dinner tomorrow night, thinking about anything other than where I am right now, bored and alone in my hot, airless house.
I step outside as the credits start and I shut off my computer. I rummage through my purse until I find the battered box of local cigarettes with the inked label “last pack ever” across the lid. I sit in my bamboo chair and strike a match, my cat following me out the screen door to catch bugs in the florescent glow of my back porch light. I smoke there and notice the silence that has fallen in my neighborhood. All I can hear are the cicadas and the whirring of my small refrigerator fan, and the occasional moto engine in the distance. I’ve missed the sounds of the women pounding yams, or the children playing soccer with an old deflated tennis ball. Even the mosque is quiet, the evening call to prayer not even a whisper on the wind.
And there is a breeze out here, I realize. Once I step outside my cement house the cool air hits me and I wrap my pagne around myself a little tighter, enjoying the cool feeling, knowing that I’ll be sleeping soon without the comforts of a fan, wishing a had a hundred of them. I decide I want to travel to exotic places when my service here is over. I want to be a world traveler. I think about that for a while, filling my passport with stamps, taking trips with my lover, leaving the hypothetical kids at home. Mommy and Daddy trips, we’ll call them. We’ll eat local foods and learn local language. I think about those days in the future while I finish my cigarette.
I’m not ready to go inside yet. For some reason I feel like I’m missing something out here and as the winds shift I understand what that is. I am here right now. I am living here. I live in Africa. I live in Africa. Instead of berating myself for not living in the moment, I just stop thinking and listen to that silence. I watch Zaari as she intently stalks a carpenter ant and I really see her in this moment. I don’t think about the future, or my trips, or how hot I’ll be sleeping under my mosquito net tonight. I even manage to not try to guess what’s waiting for me in my American package. I just let myself go as silent as the night, and empty everything else in my life. I close my eyes and take a deep breath and find that quite unexpectedly, I am happy. I drink it in, feeling the world as simply a part of my happiness, as part of the love that I have for myself, for Zaari, for that carpenter ant.
It doesn’t last very long and soon I am wondering if there are Oreos waiting for me tomorrow and debating whether or not I should order French fries for dinner. I set my watch for three minutes and decide to meditate. I know I should get back into the habit and I’ve always felt centered after doing so. I cross my legs over the bamboo armrests and close my eyes again, forgetting the time, forgetting dinner, clearing everything away but my smile and the love I feel for the whole world. I think of myself as a small island with all the stress and frustrations swirling around me and disappearing into the earth through the legs of my chair. I breath deeply and every time my mind wanders I gently bring myself back to the center of myself, my island of calm and peace. When my watch beeps I am genuinely surprised. It had felt like 30 seconds, like I had just begun to find that peace. I stand and stretch, the pagne falling to my feet. I am here, in this moment under the African sky. I will not be shaken; we are all as one. I take another deep breath for good measure and decide to take a quick bucket shower to rinse off before climbing into bed for the night.
As I step over to my shower I see a small spider is floating at waist level, diligently building a web in the evening glow. I watch her work with a small smile on my lips. Typically freaked out by spiders I am impressed with my own calm, a direct result of my awesome meditation and powers of living in the moment, I think. She is, however, blocking my entrance to my shower. I wiggle my finger in the space around her, thinking I guess of lifting her web and depositing her elsewhere so that I can cool off in the water and go to bed in peace. Instead of just allowing me to move her, however, the spider rapidly climbs up the web and onto my hand. Immediately my calm peaceful meditation mindset vanishes and I am totally freaking out, wiping my hands together, jumping up and down, heart beat racing, praying that the damn thing is dead and not crawling over my naked skin burrowing in to lay her freaky baby spider eggs.
As my heart slows and I am sure that I am not the future host for a hundred spider babies, I start to laugh. Quiet at first and then full out cracking up. I actually have to lay my hand against the wall to steady myself (after making sure there are no bugs of course). I laugh for longer than I meditated, until my eyes are tearing up and I’m sure that nothing makes any sense anymore at all and that’s okay. I don’t have to be a balanced work of art, I can be a messy finger painting. I don’t think I could live in the moment, every moment even if I really wanted to and devoted my entire life to it. I need to plan, I need to think about the future, tomorrow, my vacations, my trips, my package from America with the possible Oreos. That’s who I am and that’s really alright, too.
I pour a couple of bowls of cool water over my back and smile, loving the cold chill of the simplicity of it, loving my body, myself. I close my eyes and rinse off the day, the stresses and frustrations, the heat, and I am content. As I step out and pick up my fallen wrap I realize that I had just spent the last few minutes living in the moment without even trying, just actually being and experiencing life. I grin to myself as I shut my screen door and put Zaari to bed.
As I climb under my mosquito net I decide that I might spend the entire night feeling too hot, wishing I had a fan, wishing I was somewhere else, but that when it really counts I can find my own inner peace, too. And that knowledge is worth a hundred fans.

Camp GLOW Bohicon and gluten free peanut coconut cupcake!

So we just finished up camp GLOW (Girls Leading Our World) in Bohicon. The Wiricks ran it and it was beautiful. I feel for the first time in a year that I can actually see the difference I'm making in people's lives here. I mean, my group, the red team, was just absolutely inspiring. My mind was blown in a totally awesome way. I'll just let the photos speak for themselves.

It was amazing and I got so close to my girls. I miss them now! They were so smart and motivated to change the world and be feminists! <3

I got my first med school rejection...and then I got rejected at my dream school, the University of Chicago. So...in order to cheer myself up, I needed to make a cupcake. So I did. A delicious, gluten free peanut and coconut cupcake with chilled brown sugar coconut icing.

classy in the old tomato paste can...but so fluffy!

delicious and gluten free!

before the frosting...crumbly but amazing

probably the best thing I've tasted since America

So there ya go. Life is good despite the med school rejection...which is totally lame but I'm over it. The science camp is in a few weeks and I'm starting to get excited about it. I get my own team again and am running a terrarium project and a solar cooker project. We'll see how it goes. I'm also making gluten free snickerdoodle cookies tonight at the Nati workstation. WHATUP.

Changing my Address!

Hey all. I've changed my address so if you want to send me a package or some mail, this new one will get it to me faster. In the past, all mail went to the capital and then Peace Corps picked it up and sent it up to Nati on the shuttle. Nowadays we only have a shuttle coming up once a month and I rarely go down to Cotonou anymore...so it just makes more sense to get the letters/packages full of amazing awesome goodies (HINT HINT)/birthday presents (HINT HINT SEND NOW IF YOU WANT ME TO GET IT IN TIME) directly sent to the Nati workstation.

Elaina ________ PCV
Corps de la paix americain
BP 168
Natitingou, Benin
Afrique de l'Ouest

Ok, now everyone send me goodies! Gluten free of course :) Check out my wishlist for updates (I just typed "upcakes" haha...I wish!)

Gluten Free, Camp Success, and the 4th of July: ONE YEAR IN (with photos)

Yeah, that title is ridiculous...but very descriptive of this entry!

First thing's first. I am decidedly gluten sensitive. I have experimented quite a bit with eliminating gluten products from my diet and found that all the symptoms I'd always thought were singularly lactose intolerance are linked with gluten intolerance as well. It's mild, but causes me a lot of discomfort. In the last month or two I've reduced and almost eliminated all gluten from my diet; those moments when I slip have been very noticeable. All in all, this is not that difficult to do here and basically just means I no longer eat bread, pasta or couscous. I still get plenty of yams, rice, potatoes, beans, and oats. People with Celiac Disease or high sensitivity to gluten should probably avoid oats, but I've never had trouble with them. Basically I'm going gluten free, or as close to it as I can. I just feel better all around. To celebrate, I made amazing, easy gluten-free peanut butter cookies in my dutch oven:

AHH, they were amazing and I couldn't even tell they were made without flour. One awesome thing about going gluten free here is the easy abundance of soy products. I can get tofu and awesome soy flour that basically can serve as a wheat flour substitute. These cookies have egg in them and I'm trying to be a good vegan, but that is definitely tricky here. In America, I'm going full out vegan, but for now, I'm just avoiding dairy, cheese, eggs and transitioning a bit. 

Going vegan for me is just going to be a great way to feel more connected to the Earth, to my particular brand of spirituality and philosophy, and to be healthy in a way that ecologically and economically impacts our planet and the animals in it. I don't know if I'll be vegan forever, but I think this time I'm really serious about it. When I get back to America for good next year I'll be scoping out those cheese substitutes hardcore!

Switching gears, we just finished up with Camp Sucess up here in Djougou. We had 60 girls from all over the Donga region and we spent the week talking about empowerment, sexual health, healthy relationships, self-esteem, staying in school and not getting pregnant. 

It was great to see the girls making plans and becoming friends. I spent a lot of the week doing general help, running all over Djougou getting supplies and making sure everything ran smoothly. I also had my fair share of time with the girls and really enjoyed getting my hair done and dancing late into the night!

 My session was the sexual health one and I had a local midwife nurse from the health center come and talk to the girls about what sex is and how pregnancy happens...and how to avoid it! It went really well and I know they learned so much.

 I laughed more and was impacted more as a volunteer in Africa than I have been up to now. Camp was hands down the best and most moving experience of my time in Africa so far. 

doesn't Jared look adorable?

Anyway, immediately after camp let out, many volunteers met up in Djougou for the fourth of July celebratory weekend. The weekend included a huge soccer match against the Germans, an American football match (I scored a touchdown!), lots of beer, freestyle rapping, and an awesome rainbow.

Team America and Team Germany all together in harmony after the big USA win (1-0, my postie, Doug, scored the winning goal!)

This is a tiny sack filled with honey flavored sodabe, African moonshine. 

Doug eating a victory meal of pate blanche, sauce des legumes, and a cold beer

This rainbow circled the sun during the afternoon of the American football match

Post BBQ and post busting out some 4th of July themed rap fireworks.

I can't believe I've been here a year (well, in about a week). The new stage has arrived already and are all cozied up in their host families' houses. I've scheduled my mid-service medical exam for September, and am at the point where I can plan out my work for the rest of the year. I'm not really sure what I'll be doing after January, but until that point I actually have a lot going on!

Time has flown by a lot faster than I would have thought. And everyone says the next year goes by even faster. We've got some more ETs coming up, two people that I know of. That puts our total at fourteen people out of our original 59. At this point they said that it would be 20%. I didn't believe it then, but here we are, one year later. A year ago the idea of ETing was just terrifying, something that only people who couldn't cut it did...now, I see that each instance is very specific, very unique to that person. It isn't always a clear cut "oh, Africa/Peace Corps wasn't right for them" or even that it wasn't right for them "right now." Sometimes it just is right for a certain amount of time and then it's not anymore...things change, especially work situations. I can understand that. Who knows what the future will bring for the rest of us? A year is a long time...even if it passes by quickly!

Here's to us! We did it!

back to the blogosphere

I don't really like that word "blogosphere," but I suppose that's what this world is, a little sphere. I know that right now, while I'm specifically blogging about Peace Corps life, is the time when I will probably have the most followers, the most people who regularly read my thoughts about life. It's interesting to know that the scope of this blog has gotten pretty wide. In a lot of ways, that's exactly what I wanted. I wanted to share my experiences with the rest of the world. In other ways, though, it's a bit nerve wracking. Clearly, the powers that be ARE paying attention to what we write, and the idea of censorship just makes me feel pretty icky all over. Because I'm applying to med school right now, I don't want to mess with it, though. Part of me definitely feels that if the Peace Corps thinks something on my blog is inappropriate, med schools would probably agree, and so ultimately it's only a good thing that I am censoring myself, even if it came about through third party censorship. So really, in the long run, no harm done.

And the point of all that was to say: I'm not going anywhere! I'll stop the cursing and maybe think twice about posting negative thoughts, but other than that, I'm sticking around. I still have a lot of time left and a lot of things still to say about the Peace Corps, about Africa, about Benin, and about my life. And I know y'all are still listening, so thank you.

I'm updating my wish list to include more vegan, gluten-free items (more on that later...with a recipe and pictures!), and I'll be posting a few entries today and working on med school applications all day. I'm in Cotonou, just living it up. I live in Africa, man. And life is good.

whoa

I was just asked to remove blog content. Ironically, it was nothing political, but profanity. I am very upset that anyone would think me unprofessional and apologize to anyone I offended by posting my unedited thoughts. I assure you all that I am nothing but professional in practice in my work here and all frustrations are, of course, handled in appropriate ways.

I highly doubt I will be posting often during the second year of my service. I have been effectively scared off. It's unfortunate; I really did consider my blog to be one of the best ways of fulfilling the third goal. I'll be on every now and again with very generic updates, but i doubt the blog will be as free in the future. I'm also deleting my twitter. I have never considered anything I've posted there to be off putting, but I didn't think anything here was, either. I have too much on the line right now to risk it.

So I hope you've enjoyed the blog! I can't believe it's been a year.

Obesity and Hunger in America and Benin

Here in Benin, I find myself thinking a lot about food, nutrition, and weight from both a biological and sociological perspective. Many people here don’t have healthy food options or are malnourished due to simple lack of food. It’s quite common to see people who are skeletally thin (marasmus), people who are bloated from lack of protein (kwashiorkor), and people who are just fat from a diet high in carbohydrates. A lot of this range is typical for developing countries. Carbohydrates play a key role as staple food items, eaten with every meal to fill the stomach. They are typically cheap and easy to prepare and gives a feeling a fullness without adding much nutritional value. Here the staples are pâte (“blanc“, “noir“, or “rouge” made with corn meal, yam skins or corn meal and tomato sauce), yam pilée (boiled and smashed yams), akassa (fermented pâte), or the remnants of colonialism: rice, spaghetti, or couscous. Of those carbohydrate staples, only couscous has any sort of real protein value, and although the unprocessed, natural staples do have some nutritional value, they are primarily used to simply fill the stomach and curb hunger. With the carb, a meal will usually include a palm oil based sauce made with tomatoes and onions, a vegetable sauce with okra, a sesame based sauce or a peanut sauce with a protein item if it is available: goat, chicken, guinea fowl, or wagasi (traditional cheese). Often times a meal is just a large pile of carbohydrates with a simple sauce when money is too tight for meat. This type of eating after a while leads to obesity and protein deficiencies in children and adults. For the most part, obese or overweight people in Benin do not follow an observable socioeconomic trend. The richer are often overweight just from overeating, the poor from a low quality diet. Mostly, though, obesity is not a nationwide health problem here, but a symptom of malnutrition in general.

Thinking about these things, I started wondering what was going on in the US. Right now in the United States, obesity has reached epidemic proportions. Over 65% of American adults and 16% of children are considered overweight or obese (having a Body Mass Index of 25 kg/m2 or higher) and it’s only getting worse with processed sugars, oils, and sugar sodas and beverages. It is estimated that by 2015, 41% of all Americans will be obese (BMI over 30 kg/m2). Clearly this is an important issue, and one that is much broader than the scope of my little blog post today, but it got me thinking about the medical science behind obesity, hunger, and satiety. So I pulled out my handy dandy pathophysiology textbook, The Pathologic Basis of Disease by Robbins and Cotran, and turned to Chapter 9: Environmental and Nutritional Diseases. I wanted to find out what makes some people fat and some people thin and how we can, as a nation and as individuals, work toward curbing the obesity epidemic and keep ourselves healthy.

First off I read about what exactly the problem with fat really is. We all know that obesity can lead to higher levels of cardiovascular disease, hypertension, and type 2 diabetes. Obesity has also been strongly correlated with rates of cancer in both men and women, as well as breathing problems and liver disease. All of these risks are increased if the fat is primarily stored in the middle of the body, around the midsection in the mesentery and around viscera in the abdominal cavity. I believe that modern medicine, and current scientific research clearly indicate that being overweight is a health risk. There are also many social pressures to be thin and the interplay between health and society with weight issues is an interesting one, but not what I want to talk about right now. Right now, I want to know what’s going on with the biochemical pathways that lead to obesity and why some people are fat and others thin.

At its most basic level, obesity is a “disease of caloric imbalance that results from an excess intake of calories above their consumption by the body” (439). A person is fat if they’ve consistently eaten more calories than they’ve burned off. It really is that simple. Of course, the pathogenesis of obesity is incredibly complex and not totally understood yet. Hunger, satiety, the urge to eat and to stop eating, metabolic pathways and mechanisms are all things that need ongoing research. It is clear that genetics, environmental signals, nutritional factors, and psychological signals all go into the triggering of the metabolic response and that it is a complex system based on many different interactions. However, obviously obesity would not occur without the intake of food.

The mechanisms that regulate energy balance can be separated into three parts: the peripheral or afferent system, the arcuate nucleus in the hypothalamus, and the efferent system. The afferent system generates signals from various site such as LEPTIN and ADIPONECTIN produced from fat cells, GHRELIN by the stomach, PEPTIDE YY (PYY) from the intestines, and INSULIN from the pancreas. The hypothalamus processes and integrates these signals and generates efferent signals. The efferent system carries the signals from the hypothalamus to control food intake and energy expenditure.

I want to talk about a few of the afferent components that regulate appetite and satiety: leptin, adiponectin, and gut hormones. Stick with me, this is cool stuff.

LEPTIN. The name leptin comes from the Greek word “leptos”, meaning “thin.” It is a hormone synthesized by fat calls and is a product of the ob gene. The leptin receptor is the product of the diabetes gene and belongs to the same family of receptors as IL-2 and other cytokine receptors. Mice deficient in either leptin (ob/ob mice) or leptin receptors (db/db mice) overeat and gain weight because they don’t sense their fat stores and behave as if they were starving (439). Leptin levels are regulated by multiple post-transcriptional mechanisms. In the hypothalamus, leptin causes the secretion of anorexigenic neuropeptides and inhibits neurons that cause feeding-inducing (orexigenic) neuropeptides. Basically leptin makes you feel full. In people with stable weight, these factors are all in balance. In someone with inadequate stores of body fat, however, leptin secretion is diminished and food intake increases.

Loss of function mutations in the leptin pathway in people are extremely rare. Some individuals (5% of massively obese people) could have problems with the receptors that sense the anorexigenic signals (the sense of feeling full) and would continue to overeat as if undernourished. These conditions are rare, but it’s been proposed that problems with the pathway could be associated with more common forms of obesity such as leptin resistance, rather than deficiency. Another way leptin works is to stimulate physical activity, heat production, and energy expenditure (440).

ADIPONECTIN. This hormone is produced by adipocytes and directs fatty acids to muscle for oxidation. It causes an increase in insulin sensitivity and has most receptors in skeletal muscle. Adiponectin has been called a “fat-burning molecule” and the “guardian angel against obesity” and when injected into mice, it causes a significant decrease in fat mass.

The total number of adipocytes is established during childhood and adolescence and cannot be changed in adulthood. Fat people have more fat calls than lean people. People can gain and lose weight by increasing or decreasing the size of existing adipocytes, but the number is predetermined. Trying to keep weight off is difficult because of a lack of a decrease in the number of adipocytes as well as an enhanced appetite caused by leptin deficiency.

GUT HORMONES. There are several hormones produced in the stomach, intestines, and pancreas. One of the most interesting is ghrelin. It is the only known gut hormone that increases food intake (orexigenic effect). If injected into mice, they eat voraciously, causing weight gain through increased caloric intake and reduced energy expenditure. Ghrelin levels rise before meals and fall 1 to 2 hours after eating. Interesting to note is that in obese and overweight people, the postprandial suppression of ghrelin is weakened which maintains the obesity through continued eating.

PYY is secreted from endocrine cells in the ileum and colon and levels of this hormone are low during fasting and increase after food intake. PYY levels increase after gastric bypass surgery and if injected, energy intake decreases. There is research going on now to use PYY as a treatment for obesity. Amylin, a peptide secreted from the pancreas with insulin that reduces food intake and weight gain, is also being evaluated as a drug for obesity. Both of these hormones act by triggering the hypothalamus to reduce food intake.

All of these factors work together to control hunger and satiety. Knowing what we know now, what can we do to prevent obesity and the risks that come with it? To a certain extent, how much lectin, how much adiponectin, and all those other hormones are predetermined by your diet as a child and genetics. You can keep your weight low, but if you have a lot of adipocytes and are naturally heavier, it’s going to be more difficult to regulate your weight. I’m pretty sure I fall into this category, and maintaining my weight in a healthy range is very important to me for both health and societal reasons.

Diabetes, cancer, hypertension, atherosclerosis, and cardiovascular disease all run in my family and there is indeed a correlation with high body fat content. Knowing how to eat and how much to eat is necessary for both my weight and credibility as a future physician. Eating a healthy diet of high fiber and low animal fat can help prevent colon cancer. Avoiding nitrosamines and nitrosamides from preservatives in meats can protect from gastric carcinomas, and just generally eating a healthy diet rich in veggies, whole grains, fruits, complex carbohydrates, healthy oils, and low in salt can help protect against cancers and heart disease.

Another thought is the idea of calorie restriction. It has been shown convincingly that caloric restriction decreases the incidence of many diseases and increases the lifespan in experimental animals. The particulars are not completely understood but it is thought to be related to lowering of insulin and IGF-1 levels and increased activation of sirtuins, proteins that promote metabolic activity and longevity (also associated with red wine, yay!). With a calorie restricted diet, animals live longer due to less oxidation and thus telomere breakdown and have a greater resistance to carcinogenesis and lower cholesterol levels. Most obviously, a restricted diet leads to weight loss and thus protection against many risk factors associated with obesity.

After doing all this research, I’ve decided that one of the best ways to stay healthy is to maintain a weight between BMI 18 kg/m2 and 24 kg/m2. I know BMI is not a perfect measurement, but for now, it’s the best we’ve got. Of course you can still be unhealthy within that range, and of course there are some people who can maintain health outside of that range, but in general, it’s a good indication of an appropriate weight to decrease risk factors associated with obesity and being overweight. In addition to maintaining a healthy weight, a low calorie diet with healthy foods seems to be a good option. Lots of fiber, healthy proteins, complex carbohydrates (limited pâte or yam pilée!), and lots of fruits and vegetables is a good solution. And as always, exercise. Several times a week for at least half an hour, up to 60 minutes when possible, your heart rate should be significantly elevated. This is such a simple thing that so many Americans, both obese and normal range weight, just don’t do enough. Exercise increases endorphins, makes you feel good, keeps your weight low and your figure slim, keeps your heart healthy, and helps stimulates the metabolic pathways. It’s win-win. Eat less, eat healthier, exercise more, and maintain a healthy weight range. Check.

Addressing the national problem is a question that countless physicians are working on. I think public service announcements, frank conversations with primary care doctors and pediatricians, and nutritional guidelines and information are all good starts. The obesity epidemic is complex, so close to issues of race and socioeconomic status, connected to ideals of beauty and worth, value in society and mental health. It’s going to take a lot of effort to really effectively stem the trends and there are a lot of political aspects to the changes that should be proposed. One thing we can all do for posterity is to help make sure our kids have healthy options and to really think about childhood obesity as a major sociological problem. Issues like sugar soda in schools, healthy lunches, sedentary lifestyle changes, and videogames all go into it. We know now that the number of fat cells is determined in childhood and adolescence, and we also know from personal experience and anecdotal evidence that it’s hard to lose weight as an adult if you were fat as a kid. So let’s keep our children within healthy weight ranges by making sure their diets are rich with nutrients and they’re staying active. That way when they grow up they’ll have an easier time staying healthy and avoiding all those risks associated with being overweight or obese.

Like America, Benin has a lot of work to do in curbing both obesity and malnutrition in general. With more and more outside influences like sugar soda, candy, and other processed sugars and starches, developing countries are becoming increasingly at risk for obesity. As a health worker here, I am often talking to people about diet, especially about the importance of eating vegetables and lean protein. Fish is popular here and cheaper than red meat which helps make my job a little easier. It’s tough, though. A lot of the reasoning behind the unhealthy diets here is money, just like it is in the US. I think it’s easy to forget that sometimes, especially when thinking about the United States. But it’s true. To facilitate behavior change, we have to address the problem in a local, community based way. I’m learning that every day here and I know that understanding will be crucial to me as a physician later. It might not be easy, but change starts now. It starts with us. I know I don’t always eat as healthy as I should, especially when I’m in America (Taco Bell anyone?), but I think I’m beginning to see the importance of diet in long term health a little more clearly now that I have all this free time to think about food.

This has been a nerd alert, shared from me to you. So go out there, and use your nerdiness to do some good in the world!

Not much else is going on, just getting ready for the girls' camp at the end of the month! Gotta read up on sexual health knowledge!

Thanks for listening :)

-E

Peace Corps Reform

There is little doubt that the Peace Corps is a valued and respected organization. For fifty years, volunteers have impacted the world and served as beacons of American altruism. The organization as a whole has often been above reproach, a legacy of the Kennedy administration, and returned volunteers and currently serving volunteers alike shy away from criticizing the agency that has been such a huge part of their lives. This is starting to change, and rightly so. If the Peace Corps wants to stay relevant for another 50 years, it has a long way to go.

A recent article describes many of the challenges facing the agency and many of the questions that must be answered. In the article, there is reference to Chuck Ludlam and his wife, Paula Hirschoff, two RPCVs who have taken the lead in the Peace Corps reform action. Their 20 point reform plan calls for budgetary reforms and ways to strengthen the organization (including decreasing the alarming 35% ET rate and plans to achieve sustainable first goal results). They and others are also pushing strongly to get PCVs “whistleblower rights” protecting volunteers when they do speak out. This is, of course, an issue very close to home (literally; Kate’s village, Badjoude, is 30 kilometers away from me). Kate’s death was a direct result of Peace Corps administration not respecting her confidentiality and it never should have happened.

Luckily, many of these reform movements are seeing press. The ABC 20/20 episode about Peace Corps scandals has gotten people talking. Ludlam and Hirschoff have continued speaking out, even if controversial, and I know they are working hard, contacting current volunteers and RPCVs to lend support to reform. The Congressional hearings last month about sexual assault changes in the agency are a step in the right direction, but we need more. I happen to have a few ideas on the subject…

What we don’t need is simply more volunteers. Before we worry about expansion, we need to strengthen. We need better development priorities, sustainable project training. We need better qualified volunteers with more experience. We need to make sure that volunteers are safe and protected, even from the Peace Corps itself. We need better systems for volunteers reporting crimes like sexual assault and rape. We need better training and more resources. Absolutely we need better transparency from the agency and hard-hitting evaluations and feedback. The ET rate is too high, red-tape and country specific bureaucracy lead to tension and frustration for volunteers, our role as a development organization has never been really established, and projects are often unsustainable. We need significant reforms on all levels.

One thing specifically would be more financial support for projects. We as volunteers have to raise money for most of our projects. It would be nice if the Peace Corps as an organization could provide funds for specific ideas. For example, our girls’ camp this month was funded entirely by friends and family in the states. This is a major undertaking that has been successful in this area of Benin for five years and makes a clear and distinctive impact on the community. It is a major project for many of us and yet all the financing is external to the Peace Corps. Another idea, one that Ludlam and Hirschoff agree with, is increased collaboration with larger aid organizations. The Peace Corps is not an aid organization, per se. It’s sort of a mini-aid organization with large cultural and community based exchange aspects. If we were partnered up more frequently with bigger organizations, we could be valuable volunteer workers for developmental aid in a more roundabout way. This is basically what I am doing working with PSI, a large American based international NGO. I am, however, one of only two of us in our 60 member training group who actually works with an organization of this magnitude. And I’m still frustrated with my work a lot of the time.

I initially thought my frustration was only due to the general difficulty of working in development aid in Africa, but that’s just not true. I’m frustrated not only because development work is hard, but because the Peace Corps isn’t really a development organization at all! We don’t have the training or resources to really be effective with international development work. We aren’t really even expected to be. Maybe this realization will help me stop beating myself up about not saving the world. I’m just supposed to experience the world. I’m not sure I accept that, though.

I know that a lot of people value the ambiguous nature of the Peace Corps as more of a cultural exchange program than a development program, but personally, I resent it. I wish the Peace Corps would figure out what we’re really supposed to be doing. If we want to shift work more toward a legitimate development program, we would have a lot of changes to make. Things like data collection, selecting more experienced volunteers, and allowing administrators and managers to work for more than five years would help us look more legit. Of course, not everyone wants this. A lot of people still see the Peace Corps as a time for personal growth, learning a new language, becoming a better citizen of the world, and to a certain degree I totally agree with this. I have already been immensely impacted in how I will approach the world and I know I’ve gotten to know my community much better than the workers in more traditional aid agencies do. I have friends here and am really a part of this place. I’m not sure that would be possible if the Peace Corps was more centralized and focused on development. The fact that Volunteers make the agency what they will is a powerful and romantic idea. We do what we need to do without a set-in-stone mission and there’s something wonderful about that, I agree. But what is it that we really need to do in the world? What is our real goal as an organization? Do we want our tax dollars to go to recent college grads on a two year cultural vacation? We need to figure these things out before we can move forward. And it’s not just me that needs to get thinking; this is something Peace Corps Washington needs to decide.

It has been 50 years. It is time to start asking those penetrating questions. We, as volunteers, as returned volunteers and managers inside the administration, have a unique responsibility to speak up. As Hirschoff and Ludlam say:

“Those of us who revere the Peace Corps should take the lead in asking these questions. Those who care the most…should ask the hardest questions. The Peace Corps is an historic and romantic vestige of the values of the 60s and the New Frontier, but that role is not sufficient to explain and justify its role in the 21st Century. The ultimate act of loyalty to the Peace Corps is to ask the tough questions before outsiders do.” 

So let’s get crackin’. Once again, I really hope I’m not coming across as an anti-Peace Corps volunteer. I know the administration here has my blog address, but I’m not sure how frequently they stop by. Probably not at all (but just in case…hi, guys!). I don’t think my criticisms can be considered inappropriate content and I’ve never had my blog be mentioned to me by anyone in the administration…yet. But I worry about it sometimes. The fact is, we’re not really protected over here and I’ve heard stories of administrative separations (ad-seps) for online content. Granted, those were usually due to country specific political posts, or wildly disrespectful information about the country or the country’s people, but…the fear is there. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. I won’t be silenced just because I worry about who is listening. I believe I have a right and a responsibility to talk about this stuff, to challenge the organization that I believe in so strongly to become better.

I hope in fifty years there will be someone like me riding around on her hover board (you know, ‘cause it’s the future), making the choice to join a still relevant, still powerful, still life-altering and idealistic Peace Corps. But we have to start now to make that happen.

the toughest job you'll ever love

(otherwise known as the 'easiest job you'll ever hate' but that's for a different entry)

Med School Apps, Dog Pizza, and it's Always Sunny

"We're making brownies."
"...the drug filled kind."

Oh, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I'm sitting here in Nati watching TV with Jonny and the Spencers. We've been laughing and plotting. More on the plotting later.

First off, I FINISHED MY MED SCHOOL APPLICATION! I haven't submitted it yet, but all the information is entered in and ready to go for June 1st. I'm so excited to be finished with it. It took about twelve hours to do the whole thing and I spent the last two days up here in Nati to use the good internet to finish it off. I am now officially ready to apply. I'll send it in and wait for secondaries to arrive in July. Woo hoo!

One thing I'm worried about. I've been here two nights already and Zaari is all alone in my house. I know for a fact that she will be hungry today and I feel bad about this. I left her a lot of water and a clean litter box with two days worth of food. As long as I get back tomorrow morning she'll be okay. Sometimes she refuses food for a couple days anyway. But I still feel kind of bad.

But I have to stay in Nati an extra night. Why? Because of dog pizza, the cause of the plotting. We have decided to buy dog meat and create a pizza with this dog meat. It sounds, frankly, a little unappetizing. And there is the whole vegetarian thing to consider. However, I am also down for trying new things and this Peace Corps time is ripe for thinking outside the box. So for most of the afternoon I was torn. Then finally I just decided to go for it. We are right now making the crust for the pizza. I have no idea how it will turn out, but I'll try to get a picture or two up here later. So I'm staying one more night for this spectacle and part of me thinks Zaari would approve.

And I'll just leave you with this gem from It's Always Sunny:

"street rat!"

*UPDATE: The dog pizza was amazing. Like delicious and amazing:

Jonny looks appropriately creepy standing there behind me in the kitchen. Yum, dog pizza. I might not be able to go back to vegetarianism after this. You know what I'm talking about.

A May Update

Things have been pretty relaxed around here, treading precipitously on lazy I dare say.

After IST, I spent a couple nights in Nati to just wind down, use some awesome internet, and catch the tail end of Mango Olympics, the Peer Support Network (PSN) program of the year. I had a very nice time, actually. I streamed the three most recent episodes of Grey’s Anatomy (holy love of all that is holy, that workstation internet is fast!), had myself a few beers with some good friends, and had my fair share of the deliciousness that was the mango pie that Mary made (see last post for da foto). I lounged around with glee, knowing that Imorou, my work partner back in Djougou, was still out of town on formation that I was not invited to (because of the IST business). I also got to talk to Colt for the first time in like A MILLENIUM, which was amazing and very very needed.

Since being back from Nati, I have been feeling a little under the weather. I’m not sure if this is general Peace Corps related apathy (oh no, I have nothing scheduled for months and am just going to DIE here of boredom) or a little bacterial infection. Maybe it’s malaria, but the no fever thing sort of rules that out. That and the insane, liver-destroying prophylaxis we take weekly. So I just gave myself a couple days to chill out. Yesterday, I actually went an entire day without seeing another human being and can I just say that it was lovely? It was my first alone day in like weeks.

Part of my misanthropy is a direct result of my having been robbed. Not like someone broke into my house or anything like that, but my cell phone was stolen from me. I, of course, stupidly left it on the bus on the way back from IST, and when I asked the bus people about it, they were clueless…meaning it has been taken. Which sucks. Honestly, though, I’ve been nonplussed about the whole thing. I mean, I was annoyed for sure, but when I really started thinking about it, I figured that there wasn’t really anything I could do about it, except get a new one. So I came back to Djougou planning on zemming out to the MTN store to try to get a new sim card with the same number. That plan was stymied, however, when I got out of the taxi and discovered that my helmet had been stolen. That’s right, two important commodities, stolen within a week of each other. The helmet thing pissed me off. I demanded the driver find out what happened. He asked for my contact information so he could return it to me when he found it. I, however, HAVE NO CELL PHONE. He promised to bring it to PSI next week, though, when located. He better do it, too. I got his name and number and will be passing it on to the security guy at Peace Corps if I don’t get my helmet back. Walking around this hugely sprawling city is a bitch.

Case in point: It took AN HOUR to walk to the MTN store. In the middle of the day. With the sun BEATING down on me. At least the place was airconditioned. I sat for (ONLY!) three hours and got a new sim card. I was actually pretty happy with the service there, besides the wait. The lady was professional, using the vous form and speaking really fast and courteously, almost like in Americaland. I get my same number, too, so yay for 66.23.91.13 or as we say here “soixante-six, vingt-trois, quatre vingt-onze, treize.” Thank Allah for small favors. Then I walked the hour long walk home at dusk.

I had to leave my ID card with them, though. Apparently their copy machine was down and I didn’t want to wait an indeterminate number of hours because I wanted to get home before dark. So I left it, they promised to keep it safe, and I said I’d go back for it the next day. Which I didn’t. Because of the lazy. But it’s fine. It’ll be safe until later. I hope.

Zaari is good. She meows a lot less. I’m not sure if that’s because she’s growing up or because she was completely traumatized by her week of NO MOMMY when I was at IST last week. Doug came by to feed her every couple of days, but I sort of think it wasn’t enough food. She’s been eating an entire can of sardines each day now and he only gave her a can for every two days or so. I’m pretty sure she was like freaking out, thinking she was near death or something. Which makes me feel kinda bad. But at least she’s eating a lot now. She’s also freaking huge. Like almost the size of real live, American kitten. I think she’s about thirteen or fourteen weeks. After we get paid at the end of the month, I’m going to finally get her vaccinated. I know, I know. It’s about time. She’s been mostly healthy, save for the “let’s add water to this sweetened, condensed milk and see if she’ll like it” phase. Note: she liked it, but puked it back up twenty minutes later. She’s also into killing lizards. Not necessarily eating all of it once killed, but she does enjoy the killing itself for sure. She killed one the other day and ate half of it before deciding she’d rather just eat sardines. Seriously, the top half of the lizard was gone, the back legs and tail just sitting all macabre out on my patio, his guts sort of unceremoniously tangled beside him. I know it was a he, too, because of the tiny little ignored gonads on the cement. Of course, they could have been ovaries. I don’t know anything about internal lizard anatomy. I’ve only dissected felines, sharks, and pigs for chrissakes.

So that’s that. My internet is back to being shitty. I have yet to finish filling out my med school application, although I got a good portion done while in Nati. I have about four sections left to finish before June 1st when I’ll be submitting the monster. Hopefully the PSI internet will be superb this week and I can get ‘er done. Ew, I can’t believe I just said “get ‘er done.” How Kansan of me.

Running? What running? I’ve not purposely gone on a run for 9 days now. That’s like completely ceasing all physical activity. Starting up again will be akin to beginning a new exercise routine, ask your doctor style. Again, not sure if the cause is general PC apathy or actual medical fatigue, but I just cannot get my ass out of bed in the morning to go run. By the time I’m up it’s way too freaking hot. I thought this hot season was over, but apparently it has decided to hang out for a bit longer. And, um, rainy season my ass. It’s rained like once in the last month. Of course, it was so intense, the water pooled under my windows and slowly trickled from one end of my house to the other, leaving a lovely wet mark stain. The river Djougs. Anyway, tomorrow I am BEGGING PROMISING FORCING THREATENING myself to get up by 6:30 and JUST GO. I mean, I will never have this much free time to get myself into an acceptable running schedule. I should SERIOUSLY make use of it so that when I’m in med school I have some sort of precedent for getting up at ungodly hours for the HOLY WORK-OUT. We’ll see how it goes.

In general I am sort of shocked that it is already May 21st (yes I’m post-posting this post…haha). My little bros have already finished with school. It’s like SUMMER WOO HOO time there already. Finals are so last week over. Graduations have happened already (well, except for Wellesley’s which is this weekend…holy mother of mothers, has it really been A YEAR since my own graduation??). Labor day marks the beginning of pool season and I am jealous. Of pools, most definitely. Of changing seasons? Um, yes. It’s been like the summer of hell here for 10 months. Windy season, rainy season, hot season. It doesn’t matter. It’s all summer all the time. Which I love. But still. I’m looking forward to my visit home in October. Yay, long sleeves!

Well, that paragraph wasn’t very organized. Oh well. I honestly don’t have much else to talk about. Work? Hmm. Monday I’ll go back to work at the office and will probably get started on end of the month reports. I feel like I just did these for April, but that’s how it goes I guess. I think Tuesday will be much of the same, Wednesday I’ll head over to the maternite for some baby stuff…maybe…they still don’t really know what to do with me. I’m frankly considering not even bothering. I usually just go and sit and watch prenatal consultations which is like boring as shit after the first, I don’t know, million. Thursday I’ll go to the HIV/AIDS testing center, which I actually enjoy. The people there are nice, I can watch cool procedures (like contraception insertions), do some easy peasy paperwork for them, fix their computer (usually just turning it off and then back on again heh), and they have a scale which says I weigh like ten pounds less than I do. So that’s always fun for the ole self-esteem. Then Friday I’m back at PSI. Honestly, I’m not super psyched about the work I do here. Can I say that? Out of the THREE GOALS of Peace Corps, the first one sort of sucks for me. I think that’s the way it is for a lot of volunteers, but whew. I feel better just getting it out there and off my chest. I’m bored with my work. There, I said it. The rest of my “job” here I really really love. Transferring knowledge about America to the Beninese and vice versa. I’m really good at that! Just today I had about five kids hanging out and we talked about American games and I taught them some English. It was fun and 2/3 of what I’m supposed to be doing here. So that’s good. And I guess I don’t always dislike my official work. I like the health center and talking to people casually about health related issues. And I like it when I feel useful at the office. That’s just sort of rare. C’est la vie, quoi. Ou bien?

So that’s that, folks. Not much to see here, move along. I wish I could recount harrowing tales of heroism or breathtaking displays of poverty and the romanticized happiness and carefree attitude of the people or even just talk about how I’m saving African babies and wiping the sweat off my brow with my red-dirt covered palm…but, I’m too busy being lazy and watching my cat eviscerate lizards right now. Maybe tomorrow.

E

PS. I actually DO have a story about traveling through the backwater villages on terre rouge, but I still have to bust it out. I’ll put it up as soon as the creative juices are flowing.

Ew..flow. Heh.