I got a phone call a little while ago from D, my placement officer.
Apparently getting engaged is considered one of a few "life changing" events. Ok...well, whenever an applicant has a life changing event they are required to wait a year before being reconsidered for service...
WHAT?!?!?!
After a mild panic attack and some deep breathing, D went on to explain that they make very few exceptions to this, but that he'd be willing to fight for me to become one of those few exceptions to the year waiting rule. IF I can demonstrate via writing a detailed letter that I should be considered a special case.
Ok, so a) I was being courteous when I informed the Peace Corps of my engagement. As many people have implied, I didn't HAVE to tell them at all. I was trying to be honest and helpful =(
b) Having a ring on my finger does not change AT ALL the level of commitment and seriousness of the relationship.
c) We've planned on my Peace Corps service since THE DAY we started dating over 4 years ago.
d) We WANTED to get engaged before service because it would make things EASIER not HARDER. Having the peace of mind that this engagement brings actually makes us both calmer and more okay with the impending separation.
So basically, I wrote a reeeally detailed letter about our background, expectations, plans for marriage, plans for dealing with the distance and communication, why we chose to get engaged now, and how there is no "life altering" aspect of this engagement that makes waiting a year make any sense at all.
D said he'd fight for me to his superiors, so here's hoping I wrote a decent letter. I just faxed it a few minutes ago. Hopefully things will go well. I have a good feeling, but it's still extremely frustrating to me. I just don't understand why they can't just take me at my word that my relationship is stable and I don't expect to ET? I get asking questions about it upfront, but when I say that we can do it, they really need to accept it. It seems so paternalistic to continue to question my capacity to keep my relationship together while serving abroad. After making sure that we know it's going to hard and getting my assurances, they should be happy!
/rant.
We'll see. Hopefully I'll know something by next week.
E
damn.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your placement. I ran across your blog on Peace Corps Journal.
ReplyDeleteFunny thing is that I am in the same boat as you. I had to fight since the interview to be on board with Peace Corps since I announced of my engagement. I filled out the RI forms twice because they had an updated one. I also had a phone interview of my wedding plans, which is nonexistent.
I've been engaged since August 7, 2009 and I'm leaving for FSM/Palau September 1, 2010. The closer it draws near my service, the more I realize how hard it is to be in a relationship (it's been 5 years).
I am wondering how exactly you are staying positive about your relationship lasting because I was positive of us working out at first, but then reality hits you. Any advice? I'm not giving up on my Peace Corps experience on a boy. I refuse, even as much as I love him!